Third Star – What Is Love
Eitan of the Free Agent List
While at home recovering from surgery in Jersey he decided to flip on the ol’ Tind to find himself a wife. The first lady he was matched with asked for $600 and then the following happened…
Second Star – Fly Lauren Fly
LJ from Cobra Kai
It happened. It finally happened. An agent of chaos tried to take down the city of brotherly love by submerging it in anarchy.
Following a sports (!) event a couple Sundays ago, the city had hit a high note and was out in the streets celebrating responsibly…. until Lauren and her legion of green-clad-goons dispersed from their viewing location to join the masses. Fully decked out with riot inducing beverages crammed into anything resembling a pocket they moved through the crowds, passing them out and began turning up the volume from ‘harmonious’ to ‘the fuck is wrong with you people?’. She was seen recommending an awning as a dance floor, encouraging a local dotard to munch on manure (to be fair, the 5 second rule applies to all things edible and this was freshly laid), hoisting up dummies to swing from lampposts, cheering on looters at a gas station, and urging a yahoo to box a horse. Yes, her fingerprints were everywhere and today is the first day Lauren has been sober enough to return to work.
If Cobra Kai ever ends up winning the BTSH PBR Cup we can expect pandemonium in Alphabet City.
First Star – Thank You
Suz (Riots) from the Bylaws Committee and Diane (Gut Rot) for Leadership
For those of you not involved in any of the committees you have no idea how much hard work has been put in to creating our new league bylaws. Suz and the gang have invested countless hours taking in all recommendations, listening to the captains, reviewing and rewriting each section, consuming boxes of wine, and ironing out all the kinks. They’re tired, they’ve had enough and could use a final vote already. If you happen to run into any of them, especially Suz, at the opening season party (TBD) show your thanks by treating them to something from the top shelf. They’ve earned it!
Special thanks to Diane for stepping up and filling the leadership void. Most folks would throw their hands up and state, ‘not my job.’ ‘I don’t have time.’ ‘I’m Rich Glnzr.’ or ‘just let me know when that’s done.’ She has helped organize off-season meetings, kept the captains informed, worked with the Board on open issues, collected BTSH job applications, and hosted a delightful gathering. So for the love of god, could someone please be voted in as the new League Manager so she can catch a break?