Three Stars of Heat Fears Sunday

by Richiehero

Let’s get this over with. Here Isaac:

Oh man, did Poutine win 3 games and not get a star? Yikes…they should have. But I didn’t realize it when I started writing so I’m going to stick with the three I have…though Lee should be arrested for stealing their star. Scum.

Third Star
Lee B of Corlears Hookers

An unnamed source (Noelle) said, “Lee is actually much better in net than when he plays out.” When I asked did he score in the second game, she said, “Of course not.” So Lee will have to settle for the Third Star for beating the Sky Fighters.

Second Star
Zach F of Denim Demons

Zach is one of the finest refs in the game. He literally sees everything. But refs are chumps (esp Zac H) and deserve no love (esp Zac H). So his second star is for his play on the rink…and boy did he have a game. My second favorite Zac(h) scored four goals against Gut Rot, mostly due to him having a great game and my least favorite Zac not reffing to disallow any goals for ticky-tack reasoning.

First Star
Hicks of Rehabs

Of course the biggest game of the whole BTSH season was the Rehabs vs. Fuzz. Hicks was quoted as saying, “July 1st is circled on my calendar.” Unfortunately, many Fuzz players had it circled on their calendars as well, so the surprisingly warm weather in July, made him cancel the games due to Lukewarm Heat Fears. All of Fuzz were pumped to play Brian on the scheduled makeup date, but a light drizzle squashed that idea. So finally, after half of Fuzz was on vacation, the other half having torn meniscus or arm surgery, Hicks decided let’s play on September 16, the day of the Walker scrimmage. So a big star to Hicks, not for scoring fouuuuuuur goals, but for canceling the big match enough times that by the time they actually played, no one cared.

Honorable Mentions

I was told Jerome did a fancy shootout winner. Well go to France if you want to get fancy, it’s a shootout, you deserve and get nothing.

I was told the “Women’s tournament could deserve some love.” Shouldn’t it be called, “The Women’s Tournament with or Gender Neutral goalies?”  Either way, I’m proud of my girl Alexa for forming the winning team, but can’t give it an HM because it ended in a shootout! What kind of finals end in a shootout?  So no honorable mention there.

How about Carlton, Jen, Tom and some other random FK players who allegedly played 5 games and can now qualify for the playoffs. Is that four or five for Carlton???? Either way, Jen is getting a yes from me if it’s four bc she’s been at the rink more than five times and she shouldn’t even have to ask for permission. But still, nothing honorable about playing just five games, so no HM for this.

We will give one HM and one only this week. Scotty K. who showed up despite having surgery this Thursday. Scotty, you’re a fucking beast and if the Lbs. win the championship this season, you are a big reason why.

Okay, maybe two HMs.  Cory from Instant Karma earned a hat trick against the rejuvenated Rainbows.  A team that features stoic defenders like Cat, Tia and that guy Eric with the wicked shot from the blue-line.  But this HM is only for Cory.  Not them.

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