Three Spoiled Meats of Week 2
By The Meatbox
Man, week 1 was soooo lame. I thought yaâll had forgotten that half the fun of BTSH is the drama, but thank God you proved me wrong. I should have just realized that this leagueâs drama is like a plant. Last week we gave it some water, this week we gave it some sunlight and HOLY CRAP IT GREW. Well, that or whenever Russ Ham shows up he brings the drama with him #theprovider.
Without further adieu here are your 3 spoiled meats of the week.
Third Spoiled Meat
Ringers who canât keep their sticks down
I get it. BTSH is kinda hockey, but not quite hockey. Weâre like some weird bastard child of alcoholism, soccer, hockey, and not being a dick. For people new to it who come in ready to play hockey, not being allowed to stick check is weird. All the whistles are weird. BUT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD KEEP YOUR STICK DOWN IM TIRED OF ALL THESE WHISTLES. Winning is awesome, but you know whatâs not awesome? Showing up to work on Monday with a giant gash in your face because a ringer wasnât able to keep their stick on the blacktop. Keep âem down folks.
Second Spoiled Meat
Art Shamsky
1969 World Series Champion New York Met and New York Times Bestselling Author.
He’s everywhere.
First Spoiled Meat(s)
Mount Pou-suvius Erupting
âYou know we were due for one of these. Itâs been a solid year since the last poutine eruptionâ âoverheard on the sideline while not 1, but 2 different poo nation members decided ref abuse was back like JNCO jeans.
This feels like that State Farm commercial with the old guy pulling dollar bills away from people. âOh you almost had it, you were almost a team that people didnât associate with being dicks.â But alas, not only did you go full court press on breaking rule #1, you did it while telling people on the other team that you were going to ârip their throat outâ and telling a ref she had a âshit mouth.â Besides the fact that ref abuse is super uncool and uncalled for, who the hell taught you how to chirp? These chirps are more beta than Dr. Beta, Ramy O, and thatâs saying something. It seems like a handful of you might be better off attending some anger management classes on Sunday afternoons rather than making asses out of yourselves in A BALL HOCKEY LEAGUE WHERE YOU CHASE AN ORANGE BALL AROUND A PARK LIKE A DOG WITH A HOCKEY STICK AND TRY TO SCORE GOALS AND THEN DRINK SOME PBR. Get it together poo crew, itâs only week 2.