by Cat B

Third Rainbow
Alex F of LBS

Arya came up to me to personally nominate Jenn’s left breast (again) but that coveted star goes to Frey himself – it was a tough matchup Sunday between two highly competitive teams, Cobra Kai and LBS.

LBS came from behind to tie the game in the second half, due in no small part to some impressive weaving from the aforementioned man wearing PJ pants, sending a pass to Tommy for the tying goal.

Ya’ll can argue as much as you want about shootouts – Do they even count! They suck! Garbage way to win! In my day we didn’t have iPhone video replay! Blah blah blah! – and admittedly I hate participating in them but damn are they some high drama to watch.

LBS and Cobra Kai each got a piece into the net before Alex’s turn, who sunk it in neatly to bring CK’s 2018 win streak to an end.

Second Rainbow
JW and the clean-up crew

Seriously thanks to everyone who took the time on Sunday, and especially to people who came early, to help clean out the storage space. This was primarily led by Walker, who I don’t like to publicly acknowledge because he is technically my publicist and I want to keep things profesh, except obviously when I want to stir some shit about soup sandwiches (I’ve honestly lost the thread on that debate a little).

Nobody likes cleaning, it sucks! But as Mom always says, at least you all were paid back in moldy sticks. Thank you for being so selfless!

I did not help, I was being sprayed with champagne, which leads me to a perfect segue…

First Rainbow
DARK RAINBOWS!!!

After spending a truly embarrassing amount of time in the BTSH Media archives, I’d like to share some trivia:

The last game the Dark Rainbows won was against Gut Rot on September 25, 2016. (This was also apparently a day that Perko jumped onto the subway tracks to retrieve his stick? How did this guy win Employee of the Year?)

The next week we nearly upset Filthier in the playoffs, losing in the last 11 seconds. Little did we know it would be the first of 20+ consecutive losses.

On June 3 we finished what we started on April 15 and WON A MOTHERFUCKING GAME!

Mainly I’m here to dish out a round of compliments:

David G got his first shutout as DR goalie and earned the game ball. I also want to thank him for toting a bottle of champagne to every single game this season (just in case).

Karl “G’day Mate” S sunk the game-winning goal, having scored in the first half back in April, and showed up on Sunday to play Number 1 Fan while nursing an injury.

Bryan L, despite missing an open net and never using his forehand, as of Sunday is now leading the team in goals – ya’ll will be seeing him at All Stars!

OG BTSHer Sean (Jesus), Eric T, and Wes were unstoppable – tall and lanky apparently our main qualification for defensemen.

We’re lucky to have amazing rookies who are here for the spirit of BTSH, hanging on the courts, at Royale, signing up for OC, bringing their dogs: opposing teams should be more scared of Matt F, and K-C and Jess D are THIRSTY for those goals and it is only a matter of time.

The whole team was incredibly sad that Captain Tia was out of town – she’s the best, everyone knows it.

WOO WOO!!!!!!!

HONORABLE MENTIONS

This week had a lot of excitement and I debated long and hard about who (other than the Rainbows, obviously) should get a star. It was a tight match-up, and these HMs were only barely pushed out and I still am second-guessing but ultimately, I put these Facebook posts on mute so I don’t really care what shit you guys comment about:

Lol I couldn’t bring myself to give anything to Rehabs, but FA Sarah V. got her first career goal and handed them the win in OT against the Demons. So she gets an HM.

Alexa of Fuzz for suiting up in goal, she is lightning fast with that softball glove.

Jenn’s left breast. Honestly it (he? she?) is a high-achiever, even if the Demons did lose.

Gut Rot for the Upset of the Day against Hookers.

The Smirnoff Ice marketing team for successfully bringing 2010 back.