We all play in BTSH for the exact same reason. To win, win, WIN!!!
Everyone in this league has at one point felt the thrill of victory, outside of the Dark Rainbows of course. But unfortunately, you can’t have a winner, unless there is a loser. And for every epic win, there has been an equally horrifying defeat. Today we do what we do best at the Org. We mock the losers. Here are the 3 biggest chokes in BTSH history!!
3. 2010 What The Puck
OK, so all you stupid idiots going crazy that Gut Rot beat Fuzz in the regular season need to chill. First off we were wearing our Elves shirts and the Elves always lose. Secondly, you idiots had a much bigger victory in 2010. It was October 2010 America was basking in Obama’s first mid-term election, a young man in Penn St., was burning him in effigy, and WTP didn’t have scrubs named Justin, Marisa, Mike D. and Emily. They had amazing hockey players like Corey W., Larry Z., Corey W., and Corey W. While everyone just assumed WTP would win this play-in game, no one told Gut Rot. But this isn’t about Gut Rot’s glorious victory, it’s about WTP choking. And in a shootout, Gut Rot won one of the best and biggest upsets in BTSH history. And WTP choked.
Evidence. (Notice the cameras for the soon to be released BTSH documentary and the ref in perfect position.)
2. Ben P. of the 2016 All-Star Game
What a great day. You couldn’t ask for an easier task. Buy some crappy subs, pray to Santa it’s a nice day and then have an All-Star Game. It’s not that hard. Ben bought the subs, got the weather and then BTSH enjoyed the All-Star-Game. Who won? Ben Selig! Just like the 2002 Major League Baseball All-Star Game had no winner, neither did the 2016 All-Star-Game. Ben could have said let’s play 4 on 4. 3 on 3. Hey, what about a shootout?!? But no, he just cancelled the game because he had a men’s league game at 8. Or maybe it was a completely different reason. Doesn’t matter, he choked but unless most chokes where we can laugh at the loser, we were in fact the loser.
1. Zac Hoggstyle for 2017 ROY
If there was ever an obvious choice for Rookie of the Year it was this one. He had 18 goals even though we only knew about 16 of them. He went to OC and was the life of the party. He helped organize the Walker draft and learned how to ref. Hell even after the finals he cleaned up and made sure all the equipment was put away when I tried to say, “Fuck it, leave it to the next Sultan.” This guy is exactly what BTSH is about and had Rookie of the Year in the bag.
But Zac snagged defeat out of the jaws of victory by losing to that guy who is so afraid he wears a mask when he plays. Campbell. Does he even have a first name? Does anyone know what he looks like? How many times did Campbell go to the bar, how many Walker drafts did he do, how many times did he ref? Jesus Zac, how did you blow this?!?!? Happy birthday Zac, see you Saturday but sadly, #Notour2017ROY.