Sport “Afficiniados” and Ruffians are scandalized as Lord Timberton Lloyd Dogstuffer-Browncastle, OBE (smiling) disregards the Second Rule of Lime-Toss, namely that Nary a Tosser shall “Go over Chadwick.” The Chadwick in question is Sir Wimbledongle Chadwick-Chadwick-Chadwick, shown leaping for the viridescent Fruit, his colossal hand gloved in splendid Mongolian yak jerky. 

Moments after, the madding crowd razed Chutney Downs and unleashed a “Horrific Tsounammy of Hooliganism.” Cities worldwide now lay in cinders, and Millions are dead, mostly from pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis. Queen Victoria has been informed of the incident. To calm tensions, Her Majesty has ordered a flotilla of Royal Navy Frigates to bombard, and thus Pacify, the hated Swedes. 

Lord Dogstuffer-Browncastle has not been located since the Incident; leading phrenologists speculate that his head has imploded.

Such a tumultuous tide of Orgiastic Devastation has not rampaged across Britain’s homeland since the previous match of Lime-Toss, which was yesterday. 

–The Royal Crown Daily Journal of Farm Animal Relations and Citrus Sports, 

September 19, 1846 

Editor’s Note: No, we don’t have any idea what it means either.