The Horse’s Asses of BTSH

Well BTSHers, we are a third of the way through the 2016 season and overdue for the first Not Three Stars post.  But instead of simply stating that these are the opposite of shining moments from game day, we should call them out for what they really are: a Horse’s Ass.,,,,which is breaking the first rule of our oddball league.  And….we’re off!
Horse's Ass Award
Triple Ass
Rich G. of Fuzz

Foolish little girl.  This is the oldest wrestling in the book.

Foolish little girl. This is the oldest wrestling in the book.

At the beginning of the season Rich made a pact with himself that if he didn’t score a goal within the first third of the season then it would be open season on all the ladies of BTSH.  None of us thought that the ladies had anything to worry about.  I mean, come on, Rich can’t hit the broad side of barn with anything on the line.  Well on Sunday he unloaded one on his BTSH Newsroom colleague Diana M.  Aiming for her cheekbones he predictably missed and connected with her collarbone instead and ricocheting up and off her orbital bone.  Giving her parents who were in attendance a good scare.  That’s our Richiepoothang.  Making friends left and right.

Double Ass
Isaac S. of Instant Karma

And the winner goes to...

And the winner goes to…

Midway through the second half of the match-up against the Riots I got caught up in the moment jostling for position in front of their net.  Their defender went down and then I eventually went down too.  Having a momentary lapse in good judgment I gave him a friendly cross-check in the chest as we were both getting up causing a barrage of Riots to rush over and bring me to my senses.  Tut-tut.  Not the Karma way.  Not the BTSH way.  My head has been hanging in shame since.

Single Ass
Tompkins Square Hawk of Tompkins Square Park

Nobody stops the TSP Hawk.

Nobody stops the TSP Hawk.

Note to everyone in the league that likes to bring their cute little companion to the courts on Sunday, the Hawk has taken an interest in them.  This past Sunday it was seen circling and swooping dangerously low with intent to snatch one of them away.  It has been suggested that we try and capture the Hawk. Really?  You people just don’t get it.  No one stops the Tompkins Square Hawk.  It laughs in the face of all Asses.  So this is your warning: keep your pets close and safe, and when playing – find a babysitter.

Do you know any Horses Asses?  Have you had a run in with a Horses Ass and would like to put him or her on blast this season?  Maybe you’re the Horse’s Ass.  Send your story over to BTSH.Media@gmail.com.  We’d love to hear from you.  Best Ass in show gets an Assy Award at the end of the season for being the greatest Ass of 2016!  We understand that they come in all shapes and sizes, so don’t be shy about sharing yours. 😉

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