The 3 Stars of Ocean City
Written by RichieHero
For the 9th(??) straight year BTSHers went down to OC with hopes of eating crabs, hooking up, and hockey glory…in that order. Other fools would give the first star to Worky for putting this all together, but that just seems lazy. Like he’d always get the first star. So instead of a star Worky, you get a trapezoid.
Death Star: WAR
As Rob Walsh notes, in 1985 Sting wrote the song simply called, “Russians.” I’m not old enough to remember, but Walsh tells me the song was created because both countries were in an arms race to create the most powerful bombs they could. In the song Sting sings, ” We share the same biology, regardless of ideology. Believe me when I say to you, I hope the Russians love their children too.”
OC was a war between Hockey Balboa and the Shortis. Balboa adds Amber and Cherie, Julie raises with Tiffany and the Ivan Drago of hockey, Tiffany’s friend Nicole. (I found out after the tournament she actually made the Crossfit Games!) Shortis have Jeff, Miles, Liam, Hopper, Balboa brings Will, JSB, Arthur and Schuey.
While Thin Mints played their hearts out against Balboa in the semis and almost ruined (saved) everything, the Shortis didn’t give up a combined 15 shots on net (I’m assuming) in the first 3 games. In the finals Jeff and his approximately 11 goals in the tourney won 4-1. It was a dominating performance by the three-time champion Shortis. As punishment for creating these teams, I’m putting in a wrestling picture.
3rd star:
Thin Mints
I hate the term, “The Spirit of BTSH.” It’s dumb. You’re dumb. But this is not dumb. Well…ok…shotgunning beers at 9:11 a.m. is probably dumb, but that’s exactly what OC is about. And that’s why Thin Mints gets a star. They brought a team of many outsiders to the tourney. They came to have fun, mingle, meet new friends and play some good hockey. Mission accomplished. If not for MDF’s brother ruining everything by scoring a very late goal in the semis, they could have shocked the world and won the championship. Well done. (But perhaps too well done b/c no one will take Thin Mints lightly next season).
2nd Star:
Twin Dekes Troll
You know a troll is good when the other team cries, and trust me, there were tears shed in OC. Not only did they have their troll game on fleek (ask one of the Herr sisters, JW), they also dominated on Saturday, earning them a four seed. They almost pulled off an amazing upset, but in the end Jeff’s early, middle and late goals proved too much for the Dekes. But this was perhaps the best troll in BTSH history.
Alas, they did get beat up. In the regulation round, on Saturday. However, as my grandmother always said, “tomorrow is another day”. Sunday arrived and they drew Basic Beaches for their semifinal game. This was a tight matchup, however, posting a shutout Dave L. and Harambe moved on to the championship game, against Drunk Machine. Again, Harambe felt the weight of being huge underdogs.
They needed 3 things to stay in this game: strong defense, great goaltending…..and Ariel. They got all 3, and THEN SOME. With steadfast team defense staving off the Machine, Dave gobbling up shot after shot, with excellent rebound control, the rest of the heavy lifting in this game (and let’s face it, in the tournament overall) was left to Ariel. The only person boasting superstar status on this team, Ariel lost some good friends and linemates right before the tournament began, he could have easily bailed too, or gone to another team, but to his credit he decided to stick with this team.
Those of us watching in the bleachers started to say to each other “This is going to be the game – Harambe are going to just keep clearing the puck, time is going to run down, and this entire game is going to come down to 1 goal.”
And come down to 1 goal……it did.
With 3:44 left in regulation time Cat pinched up into the slot and picked up a rebound, going full extension she dove and tucked it backhand between the goalie and the far side post. She then laid flat on her back on the rink in a mix of exhaustion, disbelief, and pure joy. That is, until Rich ran over and hoisted her up in a scene of absolute jubilation. The crowd went wild.
On the car ride home, Cat said to me “It wasn’t until a few seconds after I scored that it occurred to me…..wow, wait, that goal was important. There isn’t much time left.”
This was the championship-winning goal, and as such, yes……it was very important.
Cat, for the late-game heroics and perseverance with the odds stacked highly against you, I award you and your team the 1st star of Ocean City.
Note: LJ is not included in this star, as I was able to poach her for Jesus Penus just before the tournament began.