The 3 Stars of Ocean City

Written by RichieHero

For the 9th(??) straight year BTSHers went down to OC with hopes of eating crabs, hooking up, and hockey glory…in that order. Other fools would give the first star to Worky for putting this all together, but that just seems lazy. Like he’d always get the first star. So instead of a star Worky, you get a trapezoid.

Is a Trapezoid > Star? It’s better than the 2nd and 3rd stars, but not the first. Sorry Worky but thanks again for another great tourney!

Death Star: WAR

I hope Rachel and Julie love their children too.

As Rob Walsh notes, in 1985 Sting wrote the song simply called, “Russians.” I’m not old enough to remember, but Walsh tells me the song was created because both countries were in an arms race to create the most powerful bombs they could. In the song Sting sings, ” We share the same biology, regardless of ideology. Believe me when I say to you, I hope the Russians love their children too.”

OC was a war between Hockey Balboa and the Shortis. Balboa adds Amber and Cherie, Julie raises with Tiffany and the Ivan Drago of hockey, Tiffany’s friend Nicole. (I found out after the tournament she actually made the Crossfit Games!) Shortis have Jeff, Miles, Liam, Hopper, Balboa brings Will, JSB, Arthur and Schuey.

OK…I see now why Shortis won the war.

While Thin Mints played their hearts out against Balboa in the semis and almost ruined (saved) everything, the Shortis didn’t give up a combined 15 shots on net (I’m assuming) in the first 3 games. In the finals Jeff and his approximately 11 goals in the tourney won 4-1. It was a dominating performance by the three-time champion Shortis. As punishment for creating these teams, I’m putting in a wrestling picture.

I didn’t want to have to do this.

3rd star:

Thin Mints

USA!! USA!!

I hate the term, “The Spirit of BTSH.” It’s dumb. You’re dumb. But this is not dumb. Well…ok…shotgunning beers at 9:11 a.m. is probably dumb, but that’s exactly what OC is about. And that’s why Thin Mints gets a star. They brought a team of many outsiders to the tourney. They came to have fun, mingle, meet new friends and play some good hockey. Mission accomplished. If not for MDF’s brother ruining everything by scoring a very late goal in the semis, they could have shocked the world and won the championship. Well done. (But perhaps too well done b/c no one will take Thin Mints lightly next season).

2nd Star:

Twin Dekes Troll

Thank you Twin Dekes for showing us how to spell Cecil. You assholes couldn’t do it before we ordered our shirts??

You know a troll is good when the other team cries, and trust me, there were tears shed in OC. Not only did they have their troll game on fleek (ask one of the Herr sisters, JW), they also dominated on Saturday, earning them a four seed. They almost pulled off an amazing upset, but in the end Jeff’s early, middle and late goals proved too much for the Dekes. But this was perhaps the best troll in BTSH history.

1st star of Ocean City:

Written by JW

Cat B. and Cecil(e) Harambe

The face of a champion.

“Against all odds.”

This team. What can I say about this team? After losing their goalie and 3 of their best male players at the very last minute before the tournament, Rich and company tried to fill up their roster with some new players. It was so late that this didn’t really work, they were still short on players, but they stuck with it anyway. Adding Greenwald playing out, and Dave L. in net, they headed down to Ocean City, expecting to get beat up by the stiff competition that awaited them.

Alas, they did get beat up. In the regulation round, on Saturday. However, as my grandmother always said, “tomorrow is another day”. Sunday arrived and they drew Basic Beaches for their semifinal game. This was a tight matchup, however, posting a shutout Dave L. and Harambe moved on to the championship game, against Drunk Machine. Again, Harambe felt the weight of being huge underdogs.

They needed 3 things to stay in this game: strong defense, great goaltending…..and Ariel. They got all 3, and THEN SOME. With steadfast team defense staving off the Machine, Dave gobbling up shot after shot, with excellent rebound control, the rest of the heavy lifting in this game (and let’s face it, in the tournament overall) was left to Ariel. The only person boasting superstar status on this team, Ariel lost some good friends and linemates right before the tournament began, he could have easily bailed too, or gone to another team, but to his credit he decided to stick with this team.

And boy did they need him. Shift after shift in the final game vs. Drunk Machine he shut down their rush, he backchecked to break up Machine’s many scoring opportunities, he blocked shots…..he did it all. And then came…….the clearing of the puck. This was not only Ariel, but all of Harambe’s players. Play after play, Drunk Machine would enter the zone, and Harambe……would clear the puck. (Often times all the way down, as icing was legal in this tournament.) Clearing/icing the puck whenever possible clearly became the game plan for Harambe in this game, and as outmatched as they were……it was really the ONLY game plan they could use.

Those of us watching in the bleachers started to say to each other “This is going to be the game – Harambe are going to just keep clearing the puck, time is going to run down, and this entire game is going to come down to 1 goal.”

And come down to 1 goal……it did.

With 3:44 left in regulation time Cat pinched up into the slot and picked up a rebound, going full extension she dove and tucked it backhand between the goalie and the far side post. She then laid flat on her back on the rink in a mix of exhaustion, disbelief, and pure joy. That is, until Rich ran over and hoisted her up in a scene of absolute jubilation. The crowd went wild.

On the car ride home, Cat said to me “It wasn’t until a few seconds after I scored that it occurred to me…..wow, wait, that goal was important. There isn’t much time left.”

This was the championship-winning goal, and as such, yes……it was very important.

Cat, for the late-game heroics and perseverance with the odds stacked highly against you, I award you and your team the 1st star of Ocean City.

Note: LJ is not included in this star, as I was able to poach her for Jesus Penus just before the tournament began.

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