Skyfighters vs. Reeeehaaaabbbs!!!

Well folks, here we are–two teams who have fought the good fight all summer long–and here they go!

Lucky for the site, several members of these teams give likes to my FB posts, so you’ll have a better than normal previews, given Rich standards, of course.

Rehabs:

Rehabs have the fastest breakout from D to “offensive circles” in BTSH, if Tompkins had circles on the court.  Gremlins have the second fastest breakout, in case you were interested.  Their [i.e. the Rehabs –ed.] best move is to breakout as normal and keep the ball away from Hopper, while trying to get a strong shot and rebound on Stein.  

Rehabs’ offense:  Black Rob and a few folks I don’t know have been kicking ass this year.  Thing is, Black Rob isn’t actually black, so that’s their weakness. 

Rehabs’ defense:  I’m not sure–they’re really good.  Sena plays the whole game and that sucks because she is very good–one of the best! [There’s also the big bad bald guy. -ed.]

Rehabs’ Goalie: Hector has been very strong in net this year–his life’s best!  

Skyfighters:

Skyfighters were really weak the beginning of this season–they had no chemistry for quite a bit.  But, now that all cylinders are firing, they’re obviously one of the strongest teams this year.  Who do you mark?!  Olivier, Roman, Roman’s brother, Mike, three people I don’t know, Hopper, Bob W. from shots from the point, two more people I don’t know, Scoops, Webster, Stein’s classic shot from the goal?!

I don’t know–but they are all dangerous!  

Skyfighter offense:  Please read above. [That’s really lazy writing. We’ll fix it up later. -ed.]

Skyfighter defense:  Hopper–is one of the top BTSHers in the league, until he gets close to scoring a goal, then forgets he has hands to deke the goalie and gives it up.  Yep, you heard it here probably last, Hopper–use those damn hands before you leave the city!!!  Bob W.: block those shots in front of the net.

Skyfighter Goalie: James has been faring well this year.  I’m not sure how he lets in goals because I have never really scored on him.  He does like Star Wars though, so perhaps dressing up in Chewbacca costumes and playing in R2D2 with ministicks may help the Rehabs call to the playoffs–it’ll surely distract James! [Evidence: Ben Chadwick is actually just Chewbacca after a Brazilian wax, and he got a cheap five-hole on Stein during the summer’s infamous Chadstreak. That’s the last time Stein gave up a goal. -ed.]

Sam’s Prediction:   I like both of these teams–players and all–but I have seen both teams play hard and I see the Skyfighters offense keeping the ball in the zone most the time and their D shutting down the Rehabs breakout.  Skyfighters 4 – Rehabs 1

Ben’s Prediction: suppose, hypothetically, you’re a sixteenth playoff seed, and you shut out the seventeenth seed in an apparent “upset”, and you have to face a third-place seed, so you start doing your homework. You study the box scores and the game tapes, you mine your spies for intel, and you wind up compiling a hundred-page dossier, and when all is said and done it still doesn’t make any sense. 

The Rehabs? Like, the $h0\/\/+1m3 Rehabs? The Rob Blizzle Rehabs? The  (derogatory adjective)   (name of another Rehab if you can think of any)  Rehabs?

What are the Rehabs doing in the playoffs? In the last twelve years, have they ever even made it to the play-ins? Has anybody paid any attention whatsoever to the Rehabs since MDF quit the team in 1995? The answer is no. Can you name four Rehabs? No. They didn’t score any goals this season. They lost literally all of their games. They only got the number three seed because they mailed $5.95 and 200 Bazooka Joe comics to Topps. 

Nevertheless, they beat the aforementioned sixteenth seed’s brains out in the first round. And they apparently beat another team a week later but nobody paid any attention to that either, because Rehabs.

So what’s the secret to their playoff success? Sources report it has been a combination of strong defense, luck, bribery, and cheating. Can these ex-addicts ride the wagon to the finals over an evidently superior Sky Fighters squad?

Well, yeah, probably. It’s freezing in hell, the lowly Mets are facing the pathetic Cubs in the semis, and Donald Trump is a presidential front-runner. Why the hell not.

Prediction: the Rehabs win 0-1. You read that right. The league gets confused and forgets this isn’t mini-golf. The Rehabs win the game, despite the Sky Fighters scoring one goal to the Rehabs’ zero. Lightning strikes thrice. 

Rich’s Prediction: Did Sam really post this without asking me or Walker for our prediction? Did he really get Chadwick to give a prediction? My God! No more Mets/BTSH writings ever wrestling again. I will be really happy for many players on both sides. But Stein already has a ring when Instant Karma won the championship in 09. So being that I’m a $h0wT!m3 Guy, I gotta go with him. Though I think Sky wins this game 2-1. 

JW’s prediction:  I am not going to say that I am picking the Sky Fighters like I planned to because James Stein fears it will jinx them.  So, yeah, this is me not saying that I think the Sky Fighters are going to win.