What The Puck: A Decade Of Excellence

Color: Orange
Year Founded: 2001
2009 Regular Season Finish: 16-5 (2nd place)
2009 Playoff Result: Lost to Sky Fighters in championship game
Conference: Weyersberg
Division: Rubens
Home Arena: Elks Lodge 878
2009 Leading Scorer: Adriano “Muscles Marinara” Bratta, 20 goals
Key Additions: Lisa Harrington (Tuques)
Key Losses: Ant “Father Time” Ventolieri? (Old Age)

It seems almost fruitless to write a new preview for What The Puck every season, because so little changes on a year to year basis.  The past three seasons have been nearly identical for Larry’s Orange Juggernaut: a fantastic run in the regular season (with the exception of a few losses when grizzled veteran Tom MacDonald is in Nova Scotia) followed by a heartbreaking loss in the playoffs.  With that in mind, What The Puck is always expected to outperform the rest of the league, and anything less than a title run is considered a disappointment.  Captain Larry “Mad Dog” Zimmer responds, “Our consistency can be attributed to a continuous reign in captaincy that has always stressed a team first mentality, as well as a consistent core of players with a very special bond that has led to great productivity and success on the court.”

This season is no different.  What The Puck enters its tenth season in 2010, holding league records in total team wins and goals (source: What The Puck Office Of Statistical Records).  With minimal offseason turnover, the team is once again an odds-on favorite for the BTSH championship.  Zimmer comments, “[Our success] is a direct result of our team chemistry, familiarity, and philosophy.  Two thirds of our team will playing our sixth season together.”

At this stage, What The Puck’s only weak point may be its players’ average age.  With only a handful of players under the age of 30, there is a sinking feeling among a few of the players that any season could be the team’s last shot at playing together.  Nevertheless, What The Puck continues to forge ahead every season, unaffected by Father Time (the metaphorical one, not Ant).  Zimmer notes, “After all the time and mileage on the old treads, we still ain’t too bad!”

Professional Wrestler They Closely Resemble: John Cena. They are truly one of the most polarizing forces in the league, with fans loving them for their tenacity and folksiness or hating them out of spite and jealousy.  However, regardless of anyone’s opinion, they continue to march to the beat of their own drum and compete at the top level.
Fast Fact: Corey “Chongo” Winters’ favorite professional hockey teams are the Washington Capitals, Montreal Canadiens, Vancouver Canucks, Winnipeg Jets, Boston Bruins, Nashville Predators, Columbus Blue Jackets, Colorado Avalanche, New Jersey Devils, Manitoba Moose, Tampa Bay Lightning, Buffalo Sabres, Chicago Blackhawks, Modo, Phoenix Coyotes, Los Angeles Kings, Minnesota North Stars, Minnesota Wild, Dallas Stars, and Carolina Hurricanes.

ROSTER
Adriano “Muscles Marinara” Bratta
Roderick “Guy LeDouche” Cruz
Michelle Doucet
Celine Dujeux
Amy Farley
Lisa Harrington
Darrell “Accurate Bob” Hartman
Oliver Hartman
Kevin Lutsky
Tom MacDonald
Salvatore Malguarnera, Jr.
Kristi Molinaro
Hannah Stark
Susanna Tenney
Brian Vroom
Corey “Chongo” Winters
Mike “The X-Factor” Woodsworth
Larry “Mad Dog” Zimmer (C)