I Preferred The Map Of Russia Episode

 

Color: Yellow
Year Founded: 2001
2007 Regular Season Finish: 12-3-2-1 (2nd place)
2007 Playoff Result: Lost to Fresh Kills in quarterfinals
Key Additions: Jill (Tuques)
Key Losses: Hector “$howT!m3” Melendez (Rehabs), Alex “Villano VI” Zabala (Rehabs)
Fan Base: Brazil

Founded in 2001, the Unicorns have arguably logged the most BTSH court hours of any squad to take the asphalt this season.  They bring a lot of optimism into the season despite being upset by a lower-seeded team in the 2007 playoffs for the second consecutive year.  Captain Christian believes that his squad is like the Washington Generals, stating, “Each season a close at hand playoff victory is stolen via rubber-band foul shot, water bucket of confetti, or midget atop a fat dude slam dunk.”  However, in an attempt to outmuscle the competition, Biff (Ted) has reportedly bulked up even more in hopes of bringing that long elusive title to the yellow shirts.

Rapper They Closely Resemble: Jadakiss.  These guys definitely have the tools to be the best around, but every year, someone new arrives who’s just one step better.  If they don’t make a serious move soon, they may miss their chance.
Fast Fact: Mark once ran for student council at Thomas Dewey High School, much to the dismay of principal Willis Dewitt.

ROSTER
Aaron
Allison
Brendan
Caitlin
Chris
Christian (C)
Courtney
Craig (Ug) (G)
Jill
John Mark
Lindsay
Mark
Mike
Ryan
Sara
Ted (Biff)