Come On Man, I’m Not Italian

Color: Brown/Orange
Year Founded: 2005
2007 Regular Season Finish: 4-13-0-3 (14th place)
2007 Playoff Result: Lost to Dark Rainbows in first round
Key Additions: Cole Jr., ZY Jr., Charles Jr.  They will be redshirted until 2025, but will join head cheerleader Jason “Cheek” Cheek on the sideline.
Key Losses: Kyle Fogden (Canada)
Fan Base: Laura the Bartender

The Squirrels are walking with a little extra swagger in their step this year, as they enter a new era of leadership under Captain Rachel Greene and her Ass Captain Marie Marberg.  In fact, Greene has already concocted an aggressive plan for the 2008 season, including:

• Winning one of their many overtime shootout appearances
• Getting Marberg to stop defending the quality of Ikea furniture
• Having Cheek maintain the distance from Gary Kowalski which was specified in the restraining order
• Outlasting Andrea “Vegetable Lasagna” Schloeder at the bar (“PLEASE!”)
• Getting Arthur “Lil’ Weezy” Revechkis to stop wearing the pink headband
• Procuring better fitting gloves for Jesse Kalb, to ensure they don’t “fall off” again this season.

Unfortunately, none of these points addresses the Squirrels’ biggest weak spot, Tim “(S)crappy” Gray.

Rapper They Closely Resemble: Jurassic 5.  Perhaps a bit of a throwback to the good old days of BTSH, they’re always good to get a party started.  Unfortunately, until they attain more serious results, they cannot be regarded as a serious entity.
Fast Fact: Rob Gorden believes that the statue of Red Auerbach in Faneuil Hall is the most romantic place on Earth.

ROSTER
Charles Asch
Eric Breitman
Scott Brower
Jason “Cheek” Cheek
Eric Cole
Ritchie Duncan
Carine Favris
Rob Gorden (G)
Tim “Scrappy” Gray
Rachel “A-Korn” Greene (C)
Jesse Kalb
Z.Y. Kesselman
Gary Kowlaski
Nicole Lanctot
Svatrick Larsen
Marie Marberg (C)
Amanda Melson
Dave Paglia
Arthur “Lil’ Weezy” Revechkis
Andrea “Vegetable Lasagna” Schloeder
Mary Simons
Miky Wolf
Al
Mike
Tommy
Kyle Fogden (Hononary Member)