Oh my God!  Laura MacNeil!

Color: Gray
Year Founded: 2006
2007 Regular Season Finish: 7-10-0-1 (11th place)
2007 Playoff Result: Lost to Pork Fried Rice in first round
Key Additions: Gungsadawn “Gunner” Katatikarn (Sabbatical), Elaina Loizou (Free Agent)
Key Losses: Noam Dolgin (Land of Make Believe)
Fan Base: Danica McKellar

With goalie Sarah Coombs’s transfer from a female to a gender neutral organism, the Mathematics were forced to recruit several female players during the offseason.  They are very excited to welcome Gunner (Katatikarn) back into the fold, but are extremely saddened by Noam Dolgin’s departure.  After much publicized attendance issues in 2007, they are poised to be a much more cohesive unit this season.  The team hosted several get-togethers in the offseason, including a karaoke party, high tea with Andrew Lu, graduation school tours with Sharif “The Chocolate Buzzsaw” Corinaldi (he seemed to like Howard), and of course, a real estate seminar with Georgine “Mulva” Paulin.  Rumors have also circulated that the Mathematics may acquire Gavin “Dutch’s Brother” Kearney or Mike “The X-Factor” Woodsworth to boost their offense.  These rumors have not been confirmed.

Rapper They Closely Resemble: Wu-Tang Clan.  Some of these guys have been around for a while now, and there’s no doubt that a few of them are among the game’s elite.  Unfortunately, their attendance is always suspect at their live performances, blocking their path to mainstream success.  They’ll miss their old, dirty one.
Fast Fact: Mark “Sully” Sullivan considers his autographed Troy O’Leary rookie card as his most prized possession.

ROSTER
Jeffrey Contray
Sarah Coombs (G)
Sharif “The Chocolate Buzzsaw” Corinaldi
Michelle Dujarric
Gungsadawn “Gunner” Katatikarn
Eli Kazin
Andrew Levine
Elaina Loizou
Andrew Lu
Laura MacNeil (C)
Raj Nath
Sheena Otto
Georgine “Mulva” Paulin
Andrew Pratt
Benjamin Roth
Bradley Schmidt
Mark “Sully” Sullivan
Derek Tagliarino (C)
Noam Dolgin (Honorary Member)