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Season Preview: Dark Rainbows

Now With 57% More Bar Attendance!

Reading Rainbow

Color: Slightly lighter pink than before
Year Founded: 2004
2007 Regular Season Finish: 12-5-0-1 (3rd place)
2007 Playoff Result: Defeated Corlears Hookers in championship game
Key Additions: Jonathan Rudd (Free Agent), Rachel Hulin (Free Agent)
Key Losses: Masako Miyazaki, Dan “Danny Abs” Abdo
Fan Base: Williamsburg

The Dark Rainbows return most of the team that won the championship in 2007, including standout goalie Trevor ‘Jesus’ Tyrrell.  Captain Sean Reynolds believes that they will be able to repeat this year because, “Our new jerseys were washed with Wayne Gretzky’s spit inside the Stanley Cup…repeatedly!”  Allegedly, they also plan to make a stronger showing at the bars.  According to Reynolds, new addition Jonathan Rudd was the winner of the 2008 “Brooklyn Chugs & Hugs Contest,” and he can drink a beer or give a hug in 2.5 seconds.

Rapper They Closely Resemble: Jay-Z.  Simply put, this is the dynasty.  Sure, they’ll have their ups and downs, but in the end, they’re usually towards the top, and that’s how they’ll be remembered.  They seem impervious to the pitfalls that have brought down other crews.
Fast Fact: John Nielsen weighs approximately 448.8 pounds on Jupiter.

ROSTER
Aaron Behr
Jennie Brown
John Cassidy
K.C. Fisher
Lindsey Foehrenbach
Libby Hartle-Tyrrell
Rachel Hulin
Jesse Jewels
Yui Lewis
John Neilsen
Sean Reynolds (C)
Jonathan Rudd
Brad Thomason
Trevor “Jesus” Tyrrell (G)
Michel Walkley
P.T. Walkley
Josh Wilson

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