Volanto’s Heroes

Color: Camoflauge
Year Founded: 2006
2007 Regular Season Finish: 5-12 (17th place)
2007 Playoff Result: Lost to Gouging Anklebiters in play-in game
Key Additions: Paul “P.J.” Lopez (Pork Fried Rice), Adriano Bratta (Free Agent)
Key Losses: Alex “No Gimmicks Needed” Nicoloff (Ice Hockey), Jarome “Hornswoggle” Ramos (?), Leah “Vick-ahs” Vickers (Mexican Standoff), Mary Pratt (Mexican Standoff)
Fan Base: The 1980s

Peter Oblamski offered the following as his team’s preview:

In what may very well be Captain Ski’s final season in a Cobra Kai uniform, the team has its eyes on the prize for 2008.  The offseason started rather unkindly with the loss of a couple late registration deadline goal scorers.  Since then, Cobra Kai has made a couple new key signings on the offensive side of the ball, while making a major acquisition during the free agent period in Paul “P.J.” Lopez at goaltender, formally of the now defunct Pork Fried Rice team.  The defensive play should be as stellar as usual in front of a goaltender with vastly added size and experience between the pipes, when compared to former goalie, Stefanie Volanto.  Also, the new rule change has brought about a much larger female contingent to the Cobra Kai dojo.    
 
The camouflage will be everywhere in 2008, as Cobra Kai attempts to use its newly found weapons in an attempt to “blend in” to the top half of the BTSH standings.  “SWEEP THE LEG” indeed.

Rapper They Closely Resemble: Gorillaz.  They’re kind of cute, kind of cartoony, and once in a blue moon, they’ll produce a legitimate hit.  Of course, we all know that they have a long way to go before they receive consideration as truly genuine contenders.
Fast Fact: Brian “The Flashlight” Morrison considers himself a sex symbol.

ROSTER
Greg “Lysol” Altman
Ara “6-1-9!” Arnn
Adriano Bratta
Laurie Chakel
Ray “Domino” Chan
Dave Cicirelli
Morgan “Secretary of Defense” Doninger
Rem “Canadian Strongman” Garavito
Chris Jewett
Paul “P.J.” Lopez (G)
Erica Miller
Brian “The Flashlight” Morrison
Mariko Nakatani
Peter Oblamski (C)
Susannah Pasquantonio
Vicky Pasquantonio
Brian Quiban
Enayet “Retail” Rasul
Brooke Robinson
Christina “Mojito” Verigan