Will Doesn’t Like His New Teammates

Color: Camouflage
Year Founded: 2006
2009 Regular Season Finish: 5-13-1-2 (14th place)
2009 Playoff Result: Lost to LBS, Inc. in first round
Conference: Schumacher
Division: Donohue
Home Arena: The Dojo
2009 Leading Scorer: Will Kuhns, 14 goals
Key Additions: Laura Suchoski, Mark Kleinkecht, Max Maier, Peter Lang,
Shep Halsey, Scott Rice (All Free Agents)
Key Losses: Kevin Au (Tuques), Brian “The Flashlight” Morrison

After another sub .500 season in 2009, Cobra Kai underwent a radical makeover this offseason, with the team adding a slew of rookie free agents.  However, as these rookies learn the ins and outs of BTSH, they join a team that is still assimilating many mid and late season additions from last year.  As a result, Cobra Kai’s 2010 opening day roster barely resembles the opening day roster from 2009, and only three players remain from the team’s inaugural game in 2006.

One of Cobra Kai’s focal points this season will be to stabilize its goaltending situation.  After last season’s revolving door of goaltenders, which included Paul “P.J.” Lopez, Minkus, Enayet “Retail” Rasul, Kevin Au, and one game with no goalie, the Dojo is hopeful that rookie Peter Lang can return the team to the consistency of the Stefanie Volanto era…although there are no current plans to change the team’s name to “Lang’s Heroes”.

Professional Wrestler They Closely Resemble: CM Punk. Despite some extremely impressive wins in the past, we’re still waiting for them to unleash their full potential. However, if and when they do, they could legitimately be a top contender.
Fast Fact: Rem “Canadian Strongman” Garavito finished third in his second grade spelling bee when he added the letter u to the word labor.

ROSTER
Gregory “Lysol” Altman (C)
Ara “6-1-9!”Arnn
Laurie Chakel
David Cicirelli
Morgan “Secretary Of Defense” Doninger
Rem “Canadian Strongman” Garavito
Shep Halsey
Mark Kleinkecht
Will Kuhns
Peter Lang
Max Maier
Leah Mollin-Kling
J.J. Murphy
Mariko Nakatani
Becky Pear
Diana Pincus
Enayet “Retail” Rasul (C)
Scott Rice
Laura Suchoski
Joe Smith
Mark Talercio
Christina “Mojito” Verigan
Faye Wells

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One Response to Season Preview: Cobra Kai

  1. HockeyRich says:

    Wow, this has to be the work of Eli because this is the worst one yet. A few things.

    1) As fellow Barnicle-Bowl participants, I request, nay, DEMAND/INSIST that their preview picture be the same as ours. I mean on our preview picture there wasn’t one current Elf!!!

    2) C.M. Punk?? Not even close.

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