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Rivalry Week’s Three Stars

3stars

Third Star
Monique and those Rehabs

Can someone please confirm that this is Monique?

(Can someone please confirm that this is Monique?)

Inspired by the success of an NHL team whose city has three rivers Welch brought Monique up from the Rehabs farm system to take some of the scoring pressure off of Ryann. Already turning into an offensive powerhouse, the promotion of this rookie gives them even more depth and adds a nice compliment to their potent second line. After taking some time to gel during the course of the first half, Monique and her line-mates unloaded a deluge of shots on their prideful opponents in the second and one of hers got through! Yeah, baby, that first one is nice.

Second Star
Jamie from Gremlins       

F*ck you, Jamie.

F*ck you, Jamie.

Well, somebody got the memo about Rivalry Week and the importance of a divisional clash. This little Gremmie was superb in the net on Sunday. He blanked Karma’s high octane offense by pouncing on loose balls and swatting away long shots like he was playing tennis. Already short-handed for the game, his team fell victim to injuries to two key players (get better Mills and Sherwood) that forced quadruple shifts for the three remaining forwards. With a little fatigue hampering his compadres Jamie remained unfazed. He stood tall and didn’t even break a sweat. Leading off the handshake line he had nothing to offer but ‘eff you’ smiles to his old La Famiglia pals and league newbies.

First Star
Morgen from Gut Rot
By rookie sensation Dan P. Perko     

GUT ROT, BITCHES!!!

GUT ROT, BITCHES!!!

TELEGRAM COMMUNICATION

Sender: BTSH FIELD INVESTIGATOR
Recipient: BTSH CORP HQ – ET. AL.
Subject: HISTORICAL ROBBERY ON THE FRONTIER
Body:
Wildly successful bank heist STOP
Perpetrator still at large STOP
Three shots fired STOP
Primary suspect hails from the middle lands – known to be armed and dangerous STOP
Full report following telegram transmission

FULL REPORT: RE HISTORICAL ROBBERY ON THE FRONTIER
On Sunday, June 12th, the newest member of the GUT ROT gang orchestrated one of the single most successful attacks on the Top Shelf Bank. The suspect, “Storming” Morgen Schroeder, known for her ruthless, gritty, and downright ferocious presence in the Blacktop Plains, single hand-handedly carried out this brutal robbery. “Storming” fired off two high caliber shots – the third landed like a cannon and seemingly exploded right through the bank vault door. Investigators are dumbfounded by the quality of ammunition and anticipate the GUT ROT gang is gearing up for more high profile, successful heists in the coming weeks.

Hank T. Bender
BTSH Field Investigator – Pylon
END REPORT

Honorable mention
Seth the Goalie from LBS, Inc.
With Timmy out nursing another injury (I’m sensing a trend this season) the LBS reached out to their original goalie, Seth. He was their man between the pipes for the majority of the team’s existence and helped them win two PBR Cups before moving out to Vancouver. Even though his return did not bring another victory to the LBS, he earns this mention because he flew across a continent to come out of retirement.

Luke V.A. from Corlears Hookers
Dude put a hurt’n on the Demons’ free agent goalie with four biscuits in the basket and one of them was the OT winner. Nicely done, Luke.  

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