We’ve had our first hat trick, shut out, huge upset and stick throw. We also had our first missed call. But this picture of Sam isn’t it. This was from 2014. Still, I feel the Hookers should be forced to forfeit last week for this two-year-old high stick and whatever team they played should get the W. 

Mega Touch at What the Puck

This will not be Game of the Week. I mean, no game will be GOTW, since we don’t have them anymore. But besides that, both teams are feeling a little blue about their week 1 game. Week 1 losses suck because there are no recent positives to draw from. The Mon-Sat seems darker than the lighting situation at Hi-Fi (why can’t any of our league bars have lights? Are we all that ugly??) But unlike Hi-Fi, there is room to move for both these teams. 

Prediction: WTP Version 2.0 has always been a weirdly streaking team. They can play great one game, and poop the bed the next. Mega meanwhile, plays hard but relies too much on Mike T. sometimes. Last week both teams combined for 1 goal. This week, it will be 7. WTP 4-3.

Dark Rainbows at Poutine Machine

While this game wouldn’t get GOTW, since Poutine lost last week, this maybe the funnest game to watch. Bill L. and his four freaking goals will try to get past Poutine’s staunch team defense and wreck havoc. Meanwhile Poutine is struggling with the loss of the league’s 5th best looking player Brian Sullivan with some sort of leg injury. (I mentioned you, I want a Bud Light bottle) 

Prediction
Poutine’s aggressive style will rattle the Rainbows. A ref will tell players from both teams to sit a shift.  And somewhere in Long Island, a glowing Sven will be holding Baby Talia tight, telling her that Poutine Machine Rocks, as Hornswaggle will lead his team to victory, 3-1. 

Butchers at Gut Rot
 
Before we get to this game, lets look at the Butcher’s history. Ben Bloom is really good, but then he leaves and they bring in Jeff. Jeff is slightly better than average, but then leaves, and they bring in Pete D. Pete not only scores 4 goals, but then he steals someone stick at the bar. Well done Pete! We should make a rule, if you score four or more goals you can steal any stick you want. Get on that shit new administration, make it happen!
Meanwhile, Gut Rot is in a free-fall as Tommy C. does not approve of Scott’s wardrobe. Also, Heather seems to be traveling around the world, her beloved Royals got killed by Syndegaard and the Mets, and Eric is subbing full time for the Rehabs this year. Though not really subbing. 

Prediction: 
Pete is half the player he used to be, and only scores 2 goals in their 4-1 victory. Georgine does not let him steal another stick. Also, Tommy posts on the FB page that they need a goalie. 

Cobra Kai at Gremlins

No Hicks, no problem for the Gremmies. Walker decided he wanted to be a defensive defensemen and was a complete failure, becoming Brian Leetch and scoring two of the five goals he will score this year. He even got one of the 3 stars this week! (OK, Isaac gave out stars to almost half the league so if you didn’t get one you’re probably not very good at this hockey thing)
Meanwhile, Rachel scored for Cobra Kai so the beauty was the beast, despite not having man-arms. (I’m assuming its Rachel N. that scored, if its another Rachel I apologize profusely)

Prediction:
The Gremmies are usually good early in the season and CK probably will wait til later. 2-1 win for the Gremlins. 

Anklebiters at Instant Karma

I asked Chadwick to let me know of some Karma players that deserve a shoutout. This was his actual response. (Not joking) “Just write about how much Fuzz sucks. who’s Karma playing? We’re undefeated.” OK, we take orders well here at the Org. Gil is old and Budnick doesn’t cover her point. Fuzz sucks. Oh and by the way, you are playing the Anklebiters.

Speaking of the Anklebiters, every time I turned around I heard a loud cheer as they continuously scored off Math. Ben (boooo) P. and Sarah M. led the charge for Phil and Amy’s group. 

Prediction: This would have been GOTW if we had one. Mike M. posted a shutout last week for Karma. Craig if you’re reading this, a shutout is when a goalie gives up zero goals to his/her opposition. You wouldn’t understand. But luckily for you, your stacked super team is good. Real good. The best. Just look at the women. Diana and her fierce determined look, Caroline and Sarah tricking their opponents into a false state of calm with their blond ponytails and smile, and then Amy being the enforcer of the group. The guys are no slouches either. But who cares about Derho and his goals. Lets instead give a shoutout to Zach’s mustache. 4-1 for Anklebiters.