Dan Demonstrates How He Created His Shirt Design

#10 Sky Fighters (8-5-2-2) at #7 What The Puck (9-5-1-2)
Written by playoff correspondent Monica Russo
Location: Tompkins West, 2:30 PM
All-Time Series: Sky Fighters lead 8-4
2011 Result: Week 14 – Sky Fighters 3, What The Puck 1; Week 18 – What The Puck 4, Sky Fighters 2
Game Notes: This game is ultimately going to come down to who shows up for each team. Both SKY and WTP have remarkably close differentials. Both have potentially excellent goal-scorers. Both have experienced players that play well together (again, depending on who shows up for each team). So let’s talk about what we can control: shit-talk. If the Czechs are there, WTP faces problems regarding volume of talk, but they do hold the advantage that most people understand what it is that they are saying in the first place. They’ve also got all those kids on the sidelines that will babble away on command, distracting the Sky Fighters while they’re trying to shoot. There’s also the matter of James Stein’s playoff/cancer-charity moustache, which could possibly get caught behind his giant helmet, causing him to sneeze at a crucial moment. Bottom line: I have no idea what I’m talking about.
Monica’s Pick: I say WTP. They’re clearly pretty virile.
Watchability: 9.99 rugrats. It’s a playoff game. You’ll be watching, if only to see who you have to face in the next round.

Jo-Ann Still Doesn’t Understand How To Buy Things In America

#13 Mathematics (8-6-2-2) at #4 Poutine Machine (11-3-1-2)
Written by playoff correspondent Abby “Tayne” Meisterman
Location: Tompkins West, 3:30 PM
All-Time Series: Mathematics lead 2-1-1
2011 Result: Week 1 – Mathematics 1, Poutine Machine 1 (OT-SO); Week 18 – Mathematics 2, Poutine Machine 1
Game Notes: It’s no secret that I’m a fan of things Canadian (see my roommate and a very underrated band), but I just can’t get behind poutine. Even when it’s called “Disco Fries” and served at a NJ diner after a night of drinking. Maybe it’s the word “curd” that keeps me from slavishly coveting this Northern delicacy. (It’s not that delicate, is it?) I want to be a fan of Poutine Machine; I do! I like Marcus Bonnee. And Jo-Ann Provencher! (See? Canadian) And Sven Patrick Larsen! But my undying love for Justin Perras trumps it all. (He did not pay me to write that, but he should.) My love for him even transcends the devotion I have to Derek and Elly; it’s that powerful! Even more powerful than an Andy Pratt slap-shot.
And it’s those shots that Mathematics is going to need Pratt to keep delivering if they’re going to unseat the 4th ranked, MacNeil Division winners. While it’s true Poutine Machine has a great record within their division, their only division loss came to Mathematics in Week 18 and they tied in the first week of the season. Sometimes a team is in the head of another, so perhaps Mathematics has it on the Machine, but I’m scared for the Mathletes!
Abby’s Pick: Eating poutine is like eating Chinese food, so expect the Machine to be hungry for another win quite soon. (Hey-o!)
Watchability: The limit does not exist!

Playing The Demons Gives Worky The Willies

#9 Filthy Gorgeous (10-6-0-1) at #8 Denim Demons (10-6-0-1)
Written by playoff correspondent Chudydides, a Hellenic poet from the 6th century BC
Location: Tompkins East, 1:00 PM
All-Time Series: Denim Demons lead 6-2-1
2011 Result: Week 13 – Denim Demons 4, Filthy Gorgeous 3; Week 17 – Denim Demons 4, Filthy Gorgeous 3 (OT)
Game Notes:
When these teams met in week thirteen there was but one point in-between:
The Demons, four, all scored with brio, while Filthy notched only a trio.
In rematched dueling four weeks later the Gorgeous team’s best sneakered skaters
Scored three again and no goals more while Demons once again scored four.
And so in battle reuniting, the trend suggests the same old fighting,
A repeat of time-honored pratfalls: Charlie Brown and Lucy’s footballs.
But Filthy shall not take this sitting, and through Queen Moni Russo’s bidding
They’ll give it hard for vengeance sought, for goals unscored, refs
cheaply bought,
At last FG sings winning lyrics, although their vict’ry shall be Pyrrhic
for though they’ll leap the Demons’ fence, they’ll lose it all just
one week hence.
Now Mangan! Now Berkin! Now Kravis! Now Workman!
On Kamen and Carson and Rubens and Pagdon!
Heed Glanzer’s words as you battle that day:
“Merry Yom Kippur!” What a strange thing to say.
Chudydides’ Pick: FG 4, DD 3
Watchability: 4 liters of ouzo spat in by Calliope, the muse of epic poetry

Which Team Seems More Excited To You?

#16 Mega Touch (6-10-1-1) at #2 Fresh Kills (11-4-2)
Location: Tompkins West, 1:00 PM
All-Time Series: Fresh Kills leads 8-3
2011 Result: Week 17 – Fresh Kills 4, Mega Touch 1
Game Notes: Both Mega Touch and Fresh Kills enter this game as somewhat surprising opponents.  Although it was not shocking to see Mega Touch playing on the opening weekend of the playoffs (as the team has since 2008), the team’s shootout victory over the Rehabs did raise a few eyebrows in the BTSH community.  As usual, Adriano “Muscles Marinara” Bratta and Harvey Jaswal, the team’s two leading scorers, led the way, as each had a goal in regulation and in the shootout.  For Fresh Kills, it is not a surprise to see the team in the round of 16, but few expected last season’s Donohue Division champs to win the Hackett Division and enter the playoffs as the second seed.  In fact, in an informal straw poll conducted prior to the season, just one person (James Stein) out of 50 had Kills pegged to finish atop the division.  However, behind goaltender Patrick Barch’s 1.60 goals against average, Fresh Kills allowed the second fewest goals in BTSH.  In addition, with six players tallying at least five goals, the team exhibits one of the most balanced scoring attacks in the league.  These two facets of team’s style of play were showcased in Fresh Kills lone 2011 matchup against Mega Touch, when Kills won 4-1 thanks to four different goal scorers.
Eli’s Pick: Fresh Kills.  This should make up for picking What The Puck in the straw poll.
Derek’s Pick: Fresh Kills.  Although no individual player has stood out, there are no weak spots in their lineup.
Watchability: 3 Coops.  Mega Touch will have to be in top form to keep this game exciting, but an upset is not unthinkable.