Shaun And The Elves Hope To Smoke The Riots

#19 Tompkins Square Riots (4-12-0-1) at #14 Happy Little Elves (7-7-1-2)
Written by playoff correspondent Sven Larsen
Location: Tompkins West, 3:00 PM
All-Time Series: Happy Little Elves lead 1-0
2011 Result: Week 2 – Happy Little Elves 8, Tompkins Square Riots 4
Game Notes: “Who Dat?” It’s not just the rallying cry of New Orleans Saints fans. It’s the question anyone who watched the final game of the Riots’ season was asking. With ten exceptions on the “Played 5 games or less” list, the Riots are a massively unknown entity going in to the playoffs. Meanwhile, some are blaming the Elves’ decline from BTSH champs to the #14 spot on team captain Rich Glanzer. They feel the G-Man spent too much of his summer pursuing the Fairy Tale Cup, the BTSH Fantasy Hockey Championship, the respect of co-captain Ben Chadwick and other things that don’t matter in the real world. But experienced BTSHers know that Glanzer has a history of pulling things together when the stakes are high, and this game should be no exception. Ultimately, winning the BTSH crown is like cooking crystal meth…it all comes down to chemistry (and a certain amount of moral flexibility). The Elves have both those factors in spades. The hastily assembled, new-look Riots, not so much.
Sven’s Pick: Sorry, Rioters. Gotta give the nod to the defending champs on this one.
Watchability: Two and a half sprinkles of pixie dust

MDF Is No Longer Impressed By Jorts

#17 Rehabs (3-8-3-3) at #16 Mega Touch (5-10-1-1)
Location: Tompkins West, 4:00 PM
All-Time Series: Rehabs lead 8-4
2011 Result: Did Not Play
Game Notes: After losing most of their top players from their 2010 Hackett Division title team, the Rehabs fulfilled the predictions of many by finishing last in the Rubens Division.  With half the roster composed of rookies and veterans returning from long sabbaticals, the team stumbled out of the gate and began the season 0-5.  Since then, they have shown improvement, going 3-3-3-3 for the balance of the regular season.  The lone bright spot has been the stellar play of new goaltender Hilary Meyer, who successfully filled the large shoes–but not the large ego–of former goalie Anthony Romeo.  She finished the regular season with a 1.56 GAA, good for third in the league.  Mega Touch made a big splash in the offseason by welcoming league commissioner Adriano “Muscles Marinara” Bratta to the squad, but actually finished with a worse record than in 2010.  Of course, that’s not to say that Muscles didn’t have his way with the MacNeil Division, as he finished with 18 goals on the season and led his team to a 4-3 divisional record.  The Rehabs and Mega Touch did not face each other in 2011, but they did meet in Week 6 of 2010, when the Rehabs defeated Mega Touch 1-0 on the strength of a goal by “The All-American Canadian” Adam Skuse and a shutout by Romeo.  Neither player is currently on the Rehabs.
Eli’s Pick: Rehabs.  Mega Touch went 1-10-1-1 against teams not named Gut Rot or the Gouging Anklebiters.
Derek’s Pick: Rehabs.  Like many teams in BTSH, their struggles are directly related to poor attendance throughout the regular season.  A full roster gives them the edge in this one.
Watchability: 3.5 Oppedisanos.  Brooklyn bragging rights are at stake!