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Part 2 of the Week 15 Previews

There’s still time to register for Ocean City, Hockey Beach! (Postcard from last year.)

Tompkins Square Riots (W/W/L/OT/L; final 3 games: Cobra Kai, Sky Fighters, Dark Rainbows) at Gremlins (W/W/W/W/OT; final 3 games: Instant Karma, Rehabs, Mega Touch)
Tompkins West, 1530
by Jerome

In spite of missing tonight’s scrimmage at Robert Moses Playground (Yahoo! groups “hockeyscrimmage” if any of you are interested this summer), which Walker helps moderate, I’ve volunteered to write this part of the column because Isaac didn’t want to be bothered having to talk about his desire for Erich…’s stickhandling skills. Right-0.

We’re more than halfway through this long stretch of games, and the Gremmies have marked their territory in the Katz Division. A robust +23 differential with four different outfielders and Jamie in the top stats lists… it’s outstanding. But their fall to Cobra Kai last Sunday is a test of whether they can really close the division or not. Although the top 12 teams will likely have a bye week in the playoffs, none of them want to lose to a dark horse (remember the 2010 Elves—a #8 seed!). The Rehabs in W17 could be a struggle but this Sunday, they should start tying loose ends and get the division.

Future HOF-er Dave GDR has been resting in the laurels of having a conference named after him (as should I; in fact, I’ll probably keep writing this as long as I write a Riots preview). But inside, he’s been struggling with what could have been, including overtime losses to Gut Rot (W1) and “how the mighty have fallen” Fuzz (W13). While the real, palpable reprieve potentially lies in their last game of the season against the Rainbows, the hard 1-0 loss last week to Poutine says something about Riots’ character: play until the final whistle, which they surely will demonstrate against the Gremmies.

Prediction: The Riots will try to make this a statement game, as their last three won’t be a walk in the park. Laura and Suz will be committed to press the entire 50 minutes, and I’m sure they’ll transmit that to the team. A Gremmies goal early may deflate the Riots’ mentality, so in order to pull a win, Sharif and the entire defensive line will have to play beyond their zones. I think Gremmies will win, but not without Riots snatching a point from them.

Gut Rot at Mega Touch
by JW

The two most BTSH teams in the league face off Sunday in this funfest. Will they even bother to keep score, or will they just decide to scrimmage and drink together instead?

Each of these teams is coming off a loss, followed by a win. 2 weeks ago Mega mounted a big comeback against the mighty Sky Fighters (partially thanks to Roman’s own goal). They came this close….but didn’t quite make it. Last week they bested Instant Karma on a late goal by newbie Jeff B. While Mega only has 3 wins on the season, Julie Katz has recruited some new talent, so the end of the season may go very differently for our jorts-wearing compadres.

Effff, Glanzer is here.

Gut Rot had to face the lethal Rehabs 2 weeks ago. They lost 5-2, but BECCA SCORED A GOAL. Last week they took down the Dark Rainbows. Diane was not present for either of these games and honestly I have forgotten what she looks like at this point. Does she even play in the league anymore?

Keys to the game:

– Gut Rot will have to look out for Brady blasting shots from well behind half court. He won’t stop doing it now that it worked on Jamie once and almost worked on the Riots. (Give it up, my friend. It’s not going to work again.)
– Mega will have to look out for Akhil, who has been on a tear all season.
– Alex will score a goal for every doughnut he eats that morning, so Gut Rot needs to find a way to do something which has never been done before……stop Alex from eating doughnuts.
– If Rot can engage Julie in a debate about candy corn during gameplay they will really throw her off her game. (That or just hand her a Take 5.)
– Gut Rot needs to guard Joe and Max closely. They’ll outrun you, and make you pay if you let them break free.
– Will Morgen and Heather have recovered from their amazing performance at the 2017 Olympics?

Oh, did I mention that Roman had an own goal in the Mega/Sky Fighters game?

Prediction: Alok scores 1, but Mega still falls to the jolly green Rotters 4-2.

Filthier (SO/W/W/W/L; final 3 games: Fresh Kills, Cobra Kai, Fuzz) at Mathematics (SO/L/SO/W/OT; final 3 games: LBS, Poutine Machine, Denim Demons)
Tompkins West, 1645
by Jerome

Seeing Suvin ride off into the sunset—perhaps literally, because he moved off to California and the sun indeed goes from west to east—probably has been bittersweet for the team, so much so that they fell to LBS, Inc. the previous week. Like the Riots, what follows the upcoming matchup will be an uphill battle. However, sitting at 20 points in the top division means they haven’t terribly suffered, and they’ve still got Ann, Dana, James, and Tim K. as veteran presences who know how to stand up to pressure.

Math has been a yo-yo this season, winning one or two here and then building a losing streak afterwards, and then back to winning or gaining a point. Methinks the best friend duo (ahem, not Rich and Derk) having been split has negatively affected them. To be fair, their last two regulation losses were against Fresh Kills (W9) and Fuzz (W11), so they might be stabilizing.

Prediction: Filthier dominates this game from start to finish. Justin will be regrettably late because his kid threw up in his glove, and the Norri will be slowly recovering from a midday brunch bender. Adela might make a cameo appearance, and Tim will probably sing Roma (non si discute, si ama) to mark the departure of not only Suvin, but Rome’s very own footballer son, Francesco Totti, to mark the full ending of the 2016-17 season, and the beginning of the 2017-18 season. Filthier crushes Math by three.

Instant Karma (OT/L/L/L/L; final 3 games: Gremlins, Fuzz, Gut Rot) at What the Puck (L/L/W/L/L; final 3 games: Gut Rot, Denim Demons, Poutine Machine)
Hockey Night in Tompkins [National Telecast], Tompkins East, 1800

by Jerome

Both teams have been really feeling the fatigue during this stretch of games, scrounging a point or two in their last five. In no stretch of the imagination have any of the games been a complete breakdown for them. But each team will want to put in the extra effort: Puck will be chasing Poutine for the division, and Karma will be fending off Mega to prevent regulation.

Don’t forget about Nicole and Al. They’ve been holding it down on O and D for Karma too.

Other than their defeat to Mega last week, Karma’s last five has been trying for them. One of their players departed for greener, presumably economically securer, pastures, and word on the street is that they’re in the market to find a netminder. 28-year old veteran Chadtrick will neither confirm nor deny such a claim. Isaac might just hop on a plane to La Liga headquarters in Madrid to convince brass to sell Neymar to Karma if the deal with FFP rule-breaker Paris Saint-Germain falls through.

At the moment, Captain Emily and her “captastic” comrades battle up-and-coming Ellery’s elites for second in the Justin W. Michaliga Division (nice ring to it, no?). Just because they lost thrice to three big teams in their last five, it doesn’t mean they’ve depleted themselves of time and energy to push through the season. Sorry in advance, Noah, but if I was on that team, one look at Cara Delev—er, I mean Aisling—is enough for me to put in 1000% on every shift. Achieve more Ws together, then meet me and Poutine on championship court! I hope that’s motivation for ya.

Prediction: Battle of the beards, or Battle of Is(zac). The league’s Hemsworth Jr. Jr. is privy on keeping things tidy in his own half; Zac definitely has the hands to turn the tidiness upside down. If this battle negates itself—and there is a possibility that it will—the focus is on the ladies of both teams: will Marisa and Susie dominate the court over Lisa and Nicole, or will the opposite happen? I think Karma will be riding high by the half, but Puck will come from behind and win by one. But Karma’s one-point lead will be retained as Mega will lose to Gut Rot.

LBS, Inc. (L/L/W/W/W; final 3 games: Mathematics, Mega Touch, Rehabs) at Denim Demons (L/L/L/L/L; final 3 games: Gouging Anklebiters, What the Puck, Mathematics)
Hockey Night in Tompkins [Regional Telecast], Tompkins West,  1800

by Jerome

Our ladies and gents in private school apparel triumphed over Fuzz, What the Puck, and Filthier in one fell swoop. Three weeks of summer went through too fast. Karsten and he who must not be named lead the pack, together making up half the team’s production (21/42), and their secondary scorers aren’t that bad, either (Jake, Mike R.). With the exception of the Rehabs, they face squads that—on paper—don’t threaten their chances at a high playoff spot.

In another division, the reconstructing Demons are trying to see the positives from what’s been a season that hasn’t been so great. Jenn and Adam are carefully selecting their players and, for the most part, they’ve been enjoying each other’s company, as this league encourages captains to make teams this way. The bright part in their schedule is that they’ve triumphed over the Anklebiters in W9, but they’ll have to stave the strikeforce that LBS brings on Sunday. Josh R., Zach, and Brian have contributed, but in this fixture, expect to see Tracy and Sara get some more shift time to properly cover points and areas that may be exploited.

Prediction: The heavy-hitters in white will be throwing roundhouses all game. To counter, the Demons will have to exercise a helluva lot of patience; shot blocking, blocking lanes, and hustling like it’s your last shift are all elements of keeping the opposition frustrated, especially when it’s a strong team like LBS. Meanwhile, los blancos will sneakily cash in a couple, and they might do to go home with two points.

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