by Jerome V to the R and Isaac S

Fuzz at Filthy Creatures

On Sunday, July 17, 2016 Fuzz mounted a remarkable comeback against Filthier by erasing a three goal deficit in the closing minutes of regulation.  Then in OT their most charismatic player from Long Island blasted one from the point past Tim, sending a shock-wave through BTSH.  It took everyone, even the spectators, minutes to register what they had just witnessed.

Rumor has it that this guy might be in town.

Well, this Sunday, revenge will be a dish best served IN-YO-FACE(!).  Since that wild game Filthy has been foaming at the mouth for a rematch.  This one could get ugly quick.  JJ, Kate and Shafiq are properly motivated to get revenge against the wounded Fuzz.

Prediction: it won’t be a pounding, probably more like a spanking of a misbehaving child.  Filthy glides to an 8-2 victory.

Mega Touch (L/L/L/L/L) at Gremlins (W/W/W/W/W), Tompkins West, 1300

Notice that the top teams in their respective divisions have kept a win streak. The Gremmies are one of these teams. Mega Touch, also to note, has kept a streak of its own, but this streak has left them with no points whatsoever.

Should anyone write off the latter team and have its players hope for good things next season, as we approach the midpoint of 2017? Absolutely not. Julie and company do not register last in scoring output, and last week they’ve only limited the Rehabs to two goals, even though i rossoneri average 3.375 goals/game. Whatever happened last week helped (perhaps injecting Worky as a ringer, but really it was Cheeky’s relentlessness to cover her defensive half well). But our heather-clad bunch shouldn’t rule out that Walker’s gang has indeed lost twice so far this season. There’s a chink in the Gremlin armor somewhere.

Meanwhile, the Welcome to the Johnson’s leaders indeed have a league-leading, robust 34 team goals, with four of their players (Erich and Cody, Maire and Marcella) making the scoring leaders list to date. It seems that Walker hasn’t had to be angry so as to make any serious scoring comebacks, thanks to his teammates’ contributions so far. I predict he won’t be playing this game much because of the 40th birthday food coma he sustained the previous weekend. This probably means that Jamie and the back line will have to be a little more diligent, because they’re about to play a side who has nothing to lose [even though they’ve lost it all so far].

Prediction: The Gremlins may take the game handily if their key players show, but if Alex EM brings his kid to the game, he might want to show off not just his socks, but also his scoring capability, since Father’s Day is around the corner.

Instant Karma (W/W/L/L/L) at Tompkins Square Riots (L/W/L/L/L), Tompkins East, 1400

This matchup is about who’s seen the world more and can impart the right knowledge to secure victory: is it Chadtrick, the award-winning (in our hearts and maybe literally) novelist, or The Amazing Race 29 contestant Vanck (to whom I dare to ask if Ashton’s single btw)? Both these athletes have reached their respective levels of hockey sense through a lot of book smarts—because they are both highly intelligent—and a helluva lot of work when off the books (Ben was integral in winning the PBR Cup and Division D Lasker trophy with me in 2010; I’ve witnessed Vanck’s ascendancy from being a free agent to a relentless go-getter on the court, which you see today).

(That was a lot of stuff in parentheses, I know.)

Although some may consider this clash as a snoozefest, back the breadbasket up. Karma and Riots are quite identical: same losing streak, same goal differential, same place in the standings in their respective divisions, and they’ve both got celebrities (well, Karma has “Thor” at least). A thirst to sacrifice more and more each shift will determine the result, which means Danielle and Lisa Heartbreaker will have to rev up their teammates to at least score one, because they were shut out the previous week. Similarly, Amy J. and Sharif must continuously be proactive and encouraging, because they were somehow able to keep up with Dave, Pete, and the Butchers last Sunday.

Prediction: A stalemate in 50 means that Chadtrick will have to fulfill the very name bestowed on him before the final overtime whistle blows. But the Riots’ Alex L. may steal the spotlight early if Suz, Laura, and the Riots’ front line commits to a high press and short, complete passes. Should the Riots succeed, and Ben doesn’t cover his point, the Riots gain a free (read: winning) goal

Rehabs (W/W/W/SO/W) at LBS., Inc. (L/W/SO/W/L), Tompkins West, 1400

One may consider Rehabs’ 2-0 win as a scare because it’s only two goals over the currently worst team in the league. To be fair, Julie and company hired the right ringers to limit Hector’s pride and joy of a team to just two goals. Nevertheless, two more points in the bag for the titleholders. Although in the same division, the guys and gals in white polo shirts and pleated skirts have been going through a bit of turbulence in the last five, losing to the Anklebiters and Hookers but triumphing over 2016 powerhouse, Fuzz.

This duel will be based on how squared away these two are. Rehabs certainly have goaltending in Eric and backup Hector. They also have Cherie and Joey “la gente que me critica va a meter la guitarra en el saco” B. on the top-scoring list. And everyone in between, including Ramy and the dude who clearly had ups over Alex EM last week, is a solid addition.

Evidence of said ‘ups.’

LBS still have yet to gain their rhythm, even though getting on the scoresheet isn’t a problem—the kid (he insisted the media use that appellation) and Karsten account for 60% of the team’s goal production. No, the fact is that they’re giving up goals as they’re gaining them; they’re only a +5 in goal differential. Relying on secondary scoring—in Michael R., Luke, and Tommy, as well as Rachel and Alex C.—can get the ball rolling in their advantage.

Prediction: This is the first legitimate threat the Rehabs face when it comes to ceding their undefeated (in regulation) status this year. Cherie, Sena, and Bryan are extremely composed on defense and are great when quarterbacking plays. However, a swift three-pronged attack from the kid and Luke/Michael R./Rosey on the wings and Karsten from the back potentially exploits gaps in its opponent’s shape. Should the LBS make a concerted effort to discover and strike these access points quickly, they’ll secure a victory in regulation. Los blancos wins by one

Cobra Kai (W/W/L/W/L) at Corlears Hookers (W/L/W/W/W), Tompkins East, 1500

This divisional rival showdown will likely be eclipsed by the attention given to Rehabs/LBS, Inc., but I think it should be dubbed as match of the week. It’s still early to consider the standings tight since anything can happen in the latter half of the season, but if the Gremlins lose to Mega Touch and The Dojo takes this match, the three teams will be in a three-way tie for first in points in the division.

In a Week 8 where the hockey gods still sided with anything blue (sadly, not Instant Karma), JJ’s fierce faction was extremely close to ending Fresh Kills’ win streak. But the triumvirate of Will, Peter G., and Liam emerge with five goals apiece, accounting for nearly three-quarters of the team’s cumulative effort. The Dojo has also won where it’s mattered most: the division. With a win over the Hookers, they mark themselves as undefeated within their division, giving them strong chances to take #3 seed late if points and goal differential are the same by September.

Swallowing or vomiting?

The Hookers find themselves between a rock and a hard place (no, not a d*ck, but figuratively speaking, Cobra Kai could be that, since their logo is a snake). The Gremmies show no sign of faltering, and CK is right behind them. Winning this week temporarily guarantees some breathing room from the teams beneath, and priorities can be shifted towards achieving the top spot with a manageable July schedule.

Prediction: Campbell on The Dojo is the player to watch for the match. With five wins and a sub-2.00 GAA, his performance against the run-and-gun Hookers will be critical. Between the pipes on the other side, Longwell might not be on the top goalies list. But how he can parry with Campbell and CK’s pressing may or may not prove his worth to be on said list, which is why he’ll need all hands on deck to prevent a smackdown. Each team will emerge with a point, but el equipacion camuflaje will be writing “good win tonight boys” on their social media platforms at game’s conclusion.

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