Jerk.

LBS beat up Filthier.

Jamie and the Gremlins blanked Instant Karma.

Butchers and Fresh Kills landed Puss List of fools that melt when sprinkled upon.

Cobra Kai found themselves in another LOL Shootout that went 11+ rounds with the Riots prevailing at the end. Boom.

Rehabs upended Biters.  [Continue Reading…]

by Arya Stark

Come one come all for the 2018 BTSH All-Star Game, this Sunday at 6:30 PM.  Stay and hang out after the games and cheer on/heckle your leaguemates.  Eat some six foot sandwiches and drink some pepsis, iced teas or whatever you need to get your spirits up and your inhibitions down (only one type of coke is acceptable though…we have permits to maintain here).

Rosters were announced earlier this week but for those who are either social-media challenged or smart enough to avoid the soul-draining ennui that comes with checking Facebook every 10 minutes, here they are again: [Continue Reading…]

Rehabs at Gouging Anklebiters
by Beau Ted, Rehabs Beat Reporter

Breaking News: Rehabs President said on Monday that the team has the power to pardon itself, raising the prospect that they might take extraordinary action to immunize themselves from the TSP investigation, even as Ramirez asserts that they have “done nothing wrong.”

On the other side of the court, Diana and Creamy are back from parental leave, Amy and Phil are expected to test out some new improv sketches on the court, and Worky is riding high from promoting Hockey Beach with this year’s sweet new tees. These squads are neck and neck in the standings, so it will be a tight one.

Prediction: Cherie and Michelle can’t shake off their jetlag from Amsterdam quite quickly enough, and Habs fall victim to the foot chompers in this nail biter. Coco scores the game winner, 3-2 in OT.

If we have anything to learn from this: don’t miss Ocean City! [Continue Reading…]

Last week (but not really last week), I asked for another ref email from our fearless ref manager regarding penalties for infractions on goal scoring opportunities, and of course, in response, got a reminder that openers need to put up the caution tape on the benches….can’t wait to be told that I did the lost and found for sticks wrong this past Sunday too!

On to the scoring highlights;

 

But first, the out of town scoreboard….

Dark Rainbows 3 @ Tompkins Square Riots 0

Rainbows – Juan-[Karl]-o Stanton (1), Bryan L (2), Matt F (2)

Goalie Shutout Win – Greenwald (1-4, 1st Shutout)

Goalie Loss – Dave GdR (0-5-1)

Game Notes: Dark Rainbows broke a month long scoring drought and a yearlong winning drought in poetic fashion by shutting out their Michaliga, I mean, Southeast, division rivals.

They found the dimension they were looking for!

 

And Now…Back to Week 8!

 

Hott Fuzz 7 @ Rainbows 1

Fuzz – Ryann Nugent Vokpkins (7), Mike “I banished my bro from BTSH” Teyt x3 (9), Gil (3), Anthony Siggy Freud (2), Jeff L (7)

Goalie Win – Alexa “Poor Performance Scrutinizer” (1-0, GAA of 1)

Rainbows – Bryan L (3)

Goalie Loss – Greenwald (1-5)

1pm Delivered a flashback like no other, and then 2pm delivered a very 2018 clapback you’d usually find on a Wendy’s twitter account

 

TSR 0 @ Halfway thru 2018 but still the “New Look” Sky Fighters 4

Goalie Loss – Dave GdR (0-6-1)

SKY – David C (1), Greg I (1), Sean N (1), Joe W (5)

Goalie Shutout Win – THE OG JAMES (2-5-1, 1st Shutout)

Game Notes: Don’t look now, but I think the Dark Rainbows just passed on their winless season of 2017 to TSR for 2018.

 

Math 4 @ Mega 2

Math – Sam N (1), Amy A (3), Jon M x2 (5)

Goalie Win – Dave L (1-4)

Mega – Jeff H (2), Jeff B (4)

Goalie Loss – Mike T (2-5)

Mega: Alok left town over the long weekend to place an early vote in the Worst Case Ontario election, and seeing the candidates, came straight back to New York in time for this game, but it was not enough, as Sam finally broke his 2018 scoring drought, and Jon showed him up with two of his own to get Dave L-L-L-L back in the win column.

Quick Shifts: On a more serious note, congrats on enjoying a special day at the HHOF, Alok and Stephanie!

 

Gut Rot 2 @ Hookers 1

Gut Rot – AkhilNation (4), Mark C (1)

Goalie Win – Ed P (1-4, GAA finally seeing some mean reversion, dropping by over 15% after this game)

Hookers – Sam M (1)

Goalie Loss – Dustin (1-3-1, GAA of not too shabby for an 18th ranked Hookers of 2016: 2.20)

Game Notes: Texts receievd from Cro went from a fkboi-eque “Oh I haven’t been checking my phone lately” after their game against Math to consistently texting me daily again. #BTSH5GamePoachingDeadline2018

Quick Shifts: With Gut Rot rallying behind a stellar performance from Ed, who was on the mark all weekend (but we don’t really talk about Mofo here, so I won’t mention his shutout on Saturday) refer to the Week 8 in Tweets section for more on the upset

 

Butchers 0 @ Gremlins 6

Goalie Loss – Tim Brk (2-4)

Gremlins – Marcella too “Couls” for skool x2 (2), Erich G x2 (12), Tim F x2 (3)

Goalie Win – Jamie B (4-2-1, GAA of 2.13)

Game Notes: Walker’s plus minus was no better than a(n incorrectly classified) sandwich. Happy (belated) birthday kiddo! I look forward to crashing the party again, without an invite, and (re)introducing myself. #OnceARookieAlwaysARookie

 

Rehabs 1 @ Demons 0 (F/OT)

Rehabs – Sarah V via Free Agents

Goalie Shutout Win – Eric “Please sit me for two minutes” Ramirez (3-1, GAA of 1.50, 2 Goose-eggs)

Goalies Loss – Zach OT-L (1-4-1)

Game Notes: Demons played one of their staple low scoring, competitive match ups in a game that saw chances traded back and forth all afternoon. Unfortunately for them, no phantom goals were called and Rehabs were first to break the ice, but probably deserved a better fate on this day.

 

Poutine 1 @ Fresh Kills 2

French Machine Always Breaks – Connor M (1)

Goalie Loss – Kevin Longwell via Ligue 1 free transfer market

FK – Gabe the Babe (5), Ariel (5)

Goalie Win – David L via Barch Pile 2.0

Game Notes: I totally almost credited the Poutine goal to “Conor L” for old times’ sake, just to be corrected again

 

Cobra Kai 2 @ Los Blancos 3 (OT/SO)

Cobra Kai – Will Green (3), Rachel Na(ba)tty Light (1)

Goalie Shootout Loss – Campbell W. (6-0-1, GAA of .99 when factoring in the extra 1/10th of a game and not 1.00, in case anyone wants to email BBCpluto later)

Los Blancos – ScottyK (10), Tommy (1)

Shootout Winner – Red Shorts, not ‘Jama Pants Alex F

Goalie Shootout Win – Mike Sizzler Z (6-1-0, GAA of 1.285714286 or 1.29)

Game Notes: The only Cobra Kai fanny knocked over was Campbell’s trying to “dominate” in the shootout.

Quick Shifts: Alex still (went left then) shot glove side from my vantage point on the shootout winner, so that’s still not a new move. I guess Bill Clinton is the only old dog that can be taught new tricks, as he self-described during the release of his newly co-authored “thriller” cyber security threat novel. (No, I’m not that cultured, I just heard about it on the radio on my commute to Morristown on Monday morning.)

When the Lb- I mean, Los Blancos- erase a two goal deficit in the final frame… Personally, I only know the feeling of the one goal variety, so I trust it stings just that much more.

 

Anklebiters 5 @ DaPucks 0

Biters – Jamie [Ben]n [P] x3 (12), Jared “Benoit Pouliot” (7), Sarah M (2)

Goalie Win – “Eddy” [Craig] LaC (4-1, 1st Shutout, GAA of 2.20)

Goalie Loss – Scott H (2-5)

Game Notes: Being shut out still sucks, but losing by 5 wasn’t so bad on this day. From the eye test, both teams traded chances back and forth all game, however the ‘biters managed to strike twine early and often.

 

Filthier 6 @ Karma 1

Filthier – Sunny (6), Slim Shaffty Shafiq x2 (2), Ann (2), The OP James (5), Sebastien via Free Agents (1)

Goalie Win – Tim K (6-2, GAA of 1.50)

Karma – Dan the Man “Creed”-en (1)

Goalie Loss – Steve F (2-3)

When Creed-n and Steve are asked about the double digit point mark on the season.

 

Week 8 in Tweets

We make game notes, all time, 60% of the time. But we’ll always have a few of these. #DoubleClick

Filthier at Lbs POUNDS, Inc
by A Young Padawan and their Jedi Master

The POUNDS are coming off a hot recent win against Cobra Kai. Not only do they have this big win to celebrate but the team also had a recent engagement (congrats to Avery and Micayla!!!). They are going to be a difficult team to beat, averaging more than 4 goals a game and coming off a 6 game winning streak. Even more impressive is Karsten and Scotty K.’s 9 goals each, placing them as 3rd and 4th ranked in the goal standings.

They’re like the best thing since sliced Lb cake!

While the Lbs were enjoying their cake and eating it too (still confirming if it was pound cake or Oreo cake), Filthier was strategizing. They average 3 goals a game and have Greg K, Sunny, and James racking up the goals as well. Several other members of their team have contributed this season (Jaime, Sean, Ann, and J.J. A.), which makes them a force to be reckoned with. [Continue Reading…]