Attention: the L train is not operational this weekend in Manhattan and parts of Brooklyn.  For those of you that rely on this train to get to the courts, please research alternative routes and budget additional travel time in order to arrive before your game. 

Gremlins at Fresh Kills
by Jess (apparently the resident haiku master) D

Sad Poutine beat them
Even more sad Erich left
Rod scored the lone goal
In last week’s decimation
New player Courtney
Could possibly give them life
Which is shocking cuz
Walker hates milennials
Plz score you guys thx

Fresh Kills
A truly strong team
Check out some of these players
Gabe switched to defense
Nicole can kill anyone,
arm wrestling champ
Sheena deadlifts more than Gabe
Canadians suck
Oh yeah back to street hockey
This team is scary

Wallowing Gremlins
Vs Unstoppable Fresh Kills
Fresh Kills win 4-1 [Continue Reading…]

Attention: the L train is not operational this weekend in Manhattan and parts of Brooklyn.  For those of you that rely on this train to get to the courts, please research alternative routes and budget additional travel time in order to arrive before your game. 

Denim Demons at LBS, Inc.
by Chairwoman Rachel and Cheekbones

The Demons may want a pound of flesh but they’ll be hard-pressed to take down the 2018 suped up version of the Lbs. Lbs are a good team that occasionally flirts with their dirty side but strive to listen to the good angel on their shoulder(or good show tunes in some cases). That angel’s name is Ali. Let this be written…maybe the first time anyone has called Ali an angel. The girls wears rings with skulls. Will the Demons drag them down into a more physical game? Potentially. Will Ali threaten people with her skull rings? Probably. Let’s keep the ice packs nearby, and maybe a leather strap to bite on. I can set a leg in a pinch (I’ve seen it done on the Grey’s Anatomy when their plane crashes in the woods).

Scotty keeps to himself but if you can get him to open up he’ll tell you a little about how he feels, particularly that he’s psyched to return to, and survive, prom this year.

Demons have only caught 3 W’s so far this season. We are predicting the 4th isn’t going to happen this Sunday.

Aside: I know we are only supposed to talk about BTSH in this, but Roberts demonstrated some solid hand shaking sportsmanship on Tuesday night, and also, happy this didn’t happen.

L Train Shutdown Fears

[Continue Reading…]

by Jess (not pronouncing the ‘ica’ is non-negotiable) D

Third Stars
Mike Yetter from the Rainbows and ScottyK from the LBS

Scotty racing off to earn one of his three biscuits and Yetter basking in the warm glow of the Rainbows.

This week’s 3rd star is shared between non-original ScottyK and M Yetter-Lendo. Scott scored a hat trick against the Rehabs (cry about it, Hicks), but who gives a fuck and/or shit about that because Yetter aka Tia’s illegitimate younger brother scored 2 goals in the RAINBOWS 2ND VICTORY THIS SEASON AGAINST GUT ROT (#bowistpropaganda). Also Yetter bought the victory beers after because an un-named baby faced member of the Rainbows didn’t have their ID and would have definitely gotten carded, so he gets 3/4 of this star. [Continue Reading…]

by Arya Stark

The Rainbows picked up a rousing 5-2 victory over Gut Rot behind Cat Chang’s first of the season and two goals more from Yetter (aka Tia’s little bro).  As you might expect, they were pretty jazzed about it.

The Biters picked up a hard fought 3-1 victory of the Fresh Kills.  Asked to comment Schuie said “we won.”

Not content to have one game in the hot sun, the Biters then completed the rained out game against Fuzz from a few weeks ago which Fuzz won 4-1.  Some bad blood over Fuzz’s decision to use a free agent when they had seven guys although I personally wasn’t aware there was any regulation against using free agents even if you have six lines of forwards.

Not content to have one game full of bad blood, Fuzz then beat Math 3-1 in a contest which featured Sam almost murdering Rich.  Alas, maybe next time.  Also no word on if everyone from Fuzz made their softball games.

The Demons picked up a 3-1 decision over the Riots with Anshu super pumped less about the win and more that she didn’t have to play an overtime.

The LBS used a four goal second half to beat the Rehabs 6-2.  ScottyK picked up his second hat trick in two games against the Rehabs this season while Hicks’ gambling problem has him well on his way to owing me a bottle of Fireball.

Mega shut out What The Puck 2-0 behind a major league effort from Tuckman in net.

Karma came back and tied Cobra Kai late in regulation, but it was the dojo who had the last laugh as Rachel buried her second of the game early in OT.  A foot may have been in the crease but much like in 1999, no one seemed to care.

Poutine played a smart defensive game and buried the Gremlins 4-1.  Most of the sideline chatter was about how Rockoff will probably come back from Australia talking like a wanker.

Filthier rode dominant performances from James and Tim to a victory over the Butchers.

Finally, the Sky Fighters pulled the upset of the day with a 2-1 win over a mostly full strength Hookers team.  No word on if Cro feels this performance was indicative of “rigged system” or just “sad.”

Fuzz v Biters 

Prediction: with 17 minutes left in regulation the game will end with Glanzer as a – 2.

Fresh Kills at Gouging Anklebiters

Listen up, Anklebiters. You are not Barch Pile. You are not a Phil or Sheena PBR. You’re the same Kentucky Wristwatch organic Phil as everything else.
You’re not your Coco. You’re not how much Diana you have in the hangover. You are not the Chug you Amy. You’re not the Gabe of your Fresh Kills. You are not your fucking Eugene. You are all winning all losing, dead rats of the Sarah.

Prediction: Biters win by 2.

[Continue Reading…]