by Richiehero

Each week we celebrate 3 players who are better than all of us, and give them stars. This results in a league wide inferiority complex since it sucks not being better than anyone.

However the Mystery Miserable Misogynist is here to change all that…and give 3 Not Stars, to three people we are clearly better than! Since this has been the, “Year of the Woman” let’s keep that trend going by bashing three lovely, lovable ladies.

Not Third Star
Sarah H from Mathematics

I’ve never held office in BTSH, but if I did, I’d print out 150 game sheets from my job at the SCPD, and make sure the stop watches were easy to find. During the Rainbows 12 p.m. (12:30 thanks Dave for being half an hour late) game vs. the Riots, there was no game sheet or stop watches. Luckily two men stepped up and heroically reffed the game without the much needed watch and paperwork. Thank you Cro and Sultan. Maybe it’s time to #BringSultanBack!

Not Second Star
Luisa from West Coast

This one hurts as the Mystery Miserable Misogynistthang loves Luisa. Who doesn’t? Maybe the Dark Rainbows. As Cheeky was counting down the clock…10..9…8…7…Gil laid a perfect pass to Mike T. and Fuzz scored to end the game! Luisa let out a loud, “WOOOOOOOOOO!!!!” Was this overtime? No. Did this give Fuzz the lead? Not exactly. This was their 7th or 8th goal in a 7 or 8 to 1 game. Bernstein booed, Luisa Woooooed. ;(

Not First Star
Suz from Riots

While the Luisa not star hurt…this one feels pretty good. Since the Modern Era (2008-2015) there have been two year-plus winless streaks.

In 2008 the Happy Little Elves won their very first game, and then went on an epic winless streak (with one tie in between) and didn’t win again til Game 4 of the 2009 season in a 3-0 victory over the now defunct Unicorns.The Rainbows last win was in 2016. Obama was the President, the Mets were coming off a World Series appearance and Hicks hadn’t yet heard the world Alpha. This Sunday the Rainbows finally got their W, in more than a calendar year by beating the Riots, also 3-0.

What do these two wins have in common? Nothing. But what do these two losses have in common? Suz. Suz played on the 2009 Unicorns and the 2018 Riots. Let’s hope Suz doesn’t enlist to the Army and there isn’t a World War 3, because if there is, we will all be speaking German soon after.

Dishonorable Mentions

Charlotte of Poutine for coming to the bar late and getting booed so loud Ella had to tell the booers to stop. They didn’t.

Amy of Math for scoring her third goal of the season and then getting in Tuckmans face and telling him she owns him. Pretty sure there may have been some spit. For accuracy purposes I didn’t actually see her do that and no one else did either but I can’t imagine that didn’t happen.

Share →

Leave a Reply