By Richiehero

Not Third Star

Gouging Anklebiters

Welcome to the League of Assholes, gentlemen. While most of our league filled with you dullards will root and cheer for the underdog Anklebiters, just realize they beat Fuzz, the Rehabs, Fresh Kills and even Instant Karma, who no doubt used ringers from all those teams as they often do. Their only two losses are in OT/SO. In other words, much like the slime over at Cobra Kai, you’re not fooling me. You guys are not Cinderella even if Schuey dresses like her on Tuesday nights.

Not Second Star

Ocean City

In previous years, every team was filled with 9 guys and six girls except for Poutine who had 19 guys and 16 girls. Stupid idiots. Anyways, this year even the Shortis are asking girls that didn’t play in the Olympics to go. Is this the penultimate Ocean City tournament? I assume next year we will still have it but so few girls will go it will be cancelled in 2021.

First Not Star

Fuzz Softball

Earlier in the year I boasted how great Fuzz Softball was. A few months ago our undefeated season came crashing down in the finals, and then we got killed by the Butchers, without even giving Rachel Greene a black eye. It was a terrible day. Yesterday we lost in the LOLQuarter Finals. Miles made two throwing errors on the first two plays and only yelled at me once. I hope he’s ok. We can still beat you Poutine, unless it’s in the playoffs.