Michaliga Division Preview
Written by Tony Orlando and Dawn
So, is this still the Michaliga division even though Michaliga is no longer in this division?
I digressā¦..letās get right into it.
Dark Rainbows
The big news here is that there has been a peaceful transfer of power from former captains Tia, Cat, and Greenwald to new captains Jess-with-an-ICA Deutsch and Mike āIām still a free agentā Yetter. How will these two sophomores handle the responsibilities of captaining? Thus far it seems to me that they are dedicated to maintaining the Rainbowsā status (forged by the previous captains) as the team everybody loves to love. That said, no one loves the Rainbows more than they love each other. THEIR ALTERNATE JERSEYS HAVE THEIR TEAMMATE WESā FACE ON THEM. If thatās not love, then I donāt know what is.
All the love is great to see, and we here at the Media look forward to seeing how these two shape the team in the months to come.
The other big news is the acquisition of stalwart Moffo league veteran Tarnow. His strong two-way play shoots him right up to the Rainbows top line. His penchant for fun and team socializing shoots him straight into our hearts, and the aforementioned Rainbows circle of love.
I am also told that they are adding two girls who are new to the league, however I was not given any names or info about these two. Way to make your new women feel like a footnote, Rainbows.
I take back all the nice things I just said about you.
Gut Rot
First and foremost, Dave and Mary are retiring. Dave has been in the league since the 2nd season of BTSH, repping Gut Rotās early origins as For Good Or For Awesome. We wish them well in their many hangover-less Monday mornings to come.
They also added two new guys – Rob of Friends Mountain fame, and some dude named Jon who enticed them by offering ālackluster cardio, but the ability to chug a beer in 3 secondsā.
Ok, I canāt move on to the next team without addressing the elephant in the room, and I donāt know how to say it other than to just come out and say itā¦ā¦..Ed left Gut Rot. He is going to WTP. I donāt want to say that this is Hoggās fault, butā¦ā¦.I just did. I am told that Gut Rot holds no ill will toward Ed, nor toward WTP.
However, if they DID want to hold a grudge against anyoneā¦.nevermind, I am not going to go there. *cough* Hogg *cough*.
Lastlyā¦..they got a new goalie! A new guy named Sam you may have met at the free agent scrim on Sunday. He is a super nice guy, I think heāll be a great addition to the league, and apparently Hogg has already been trying to poach him for WTP, for weekends that Ed is away.
Mega Touch
Julie tells me that all the guys are coming back, “no additions and no departures”. This is no surprise to me as once you are Mega, you are Mega for life. (Hi Brady!)
As for the women, Natasha bumped up from alternate to full time, and theyāve added a new woman named Courtney. I remember the days when Coco was the only Courtney in the league. Now there are at least 3 that I know of?? Coco, Courtney the Gremlin, and now Courtney the Mega?? I feel like Coco should have trademarked her name in the league, Cardi style.
Also, Nadya is back from maternity leave! Wait, Tito has a baby brother now?? Double the cuteness!
Lastly, Julie and Alex are so tired of the Media making candy and socks jokes that she stopped eating candy, and he stopped wearing socks. Ask him to show you his athleteās foot.
(Also, someone please pick Julie up off the floor. She just fainted from reading the idea that she might stop eating candy.)
Tompkins Square Riots
The elusive Tompkins Square Riots. We here at the Media never know a LOT about them, or their business dealings. What we do know is something that we are sad to report – the retirement of league veteran Laura MacNeil. Over the course of her many years in the league she brought an energy and spirit that was matched by few BTSHers. However, as often eventually happens to New Yorkersā¦…she left New York. (Iām about ready to bounce outta here too, this place is becoming one big fucking shopping mall. Have yāall seen what they did to the old Sunshine Cinema??)
We bid Laura adieu, wish her well, and hope that she comes back to visit often.
Dave and Amy are still here, though. Phew.
Denim Demons
League historians tell us that the once mighty Demons have dropped a division the last 3 years in a row, making them possibly the only team to ever have this dubious distinction. The good news is they canāt plummet any lower. The inside news is that Tracy states that the Demons are going to lose their (self-appointed) title of league sweethearts since they plan on “going back to beating everyone at hockey and the league will hate us again for beating them all at hockey”.
Welp, only time will tell, but one thing is for certainā¦ā¦.the title of league sweethearts was definitely self-appointed.