Some of you may have noticed we didn’t get any game previews up for you this week. We could just say we were taking care of personal matters like Martin Biron. Or lie and say we were trying to negotiate a new deal for Tim Thomas (sorry Ant, no one is believing that one). We could even blame it on the Jewish holidays. But that wouldn’t be right. In fact our intrepid colleagues Rich Glanzer and Eli Kazin (aka “the Hebrews Who Bring You the News”) hit their deadlines like the professionals they are.
But the simple fact is our paying commitments this week exceeded the available amount of time we had. And BTSH suffered as a result.
It’s our bad, we take full responsibility and it won’t happen again. But in the meantime, the world should not be denied the genius of Messrs. Glanzer and Kazin. Read their stuff and give them a little extra love on the court today, ok?
Cobra Kai at Mega Touch
Tompkins Square East, 4:30 pm
by Eli “Norris” Kazin
We’re supposed to write about rookies this week, so it is a lucky coincidence that Cobra Kai has a lot of them. They might have the most rookies in the league this season, because we’re looking at their roster and seeing a lot of names we don’t recognize at all. The Dojo’s strongest candidate for rookie of the year, goalie Aaron Friedman, didn’t even join the team until the middle of the season. He is making up for lost time, though, as he is also the starting goalie for Filthy Gorgeous. Which means his two teams will almost certainly meet in the opening round of the playoffs, where Greg and Monica will have to decide who gets to use Aaron via rock-paper-scissors (helpful hint: Take rock, nothing beats rock!).
As for Mega Touch, they might have a rookie or two buried somewhere on their roster, but come on, this is a veteran laden squad. If anything, Alex Eben Meyer should be in the running for veteran of the year, if such an award existed. This guy has a tremendous knowledge of the league rules, since he’s been around since the first season and probably had a hand in writing the rules. If you are anywhere near the crease, or heaven forbid in it, Alex will let you know. Oh yes, he’ll let you know, and then let you know again, just to be sure.
This game could go either way, but we’re going to pick Cobra Kai to win, 3-2. And as for our actual rookie of the year picks, we’ll go with someone from the Mathematics, like Sam Norris, Nate Norris, or Stephanie Couzin. We’ll stuff the ballot box if necessary.
What the Puck at Corlears Hookers
Tompkins Square West, 4:30 pm
by Rich “The song should be called ‘Holding out for a Glanzer'” Glanzer
Congrats to the Corlears Hookers who saved our soul and deprived Fresh Kills of their perfect season. But don’t thank the Hookers, thank me. Richie was once again Richie Hero as I implored the Hookers to victory. Word on the street is the Hookers want to make me honorary captain for their eventual meetup in the Championship Game and as of now I am taking that offer under advisement.
This week the Hookers play another of the leagues elite, WTP. Every year this game looks better on the calendar than on the rough surface of TSP. The two bumbling schedule makers typically make this game during the summer, and WTP invariably forfeits.
But this year Hubbub and Schlubbub put their meeting at the end of the season and it should be a doozy. I don’t see a lot of goals being scored in this one, as both teams defense can shut down high scoring offenses.
I’m going to go 3-2 WTP on this one, as I think the Hookers will not have the same urgency this week as they did last week. Not that they had any urgency since they are all just machines, but even machines are people too.
