by Sam N

The first installment of 2017’s Know Your Neighbor is here! This week we are featuring the family duo on Instant Karma, Cory and Brianna.

Cory and Brianna of Instant Karma

Hometowns

Medford, NY

Colleges

Cory: Ithaca College

Brianna: Pace University and Baruch College

Favorite NHL Team

Cory: New York Rangers

Brianna: New York Rangers

Favorite BTSH team other than Instant Karma

Cory: Math

Brianna: Hmmm. I’m still really bad at remembering what all the teams are in this league but I tend to like the teams that are nice. I’ve had good experiences playing against Mega Touch and Mathematics.

(Ed. Note: Woohooo!!! Though, I know this is biased since I sent the questions.)

Are you on an Ocean City team yet this year?

Cory: Nope, not yet.

Brianna: Nope, maybe one year.

(Ed. Note: There is still lots of team to find a team, and there will likely be one or two free agents teams forming this year. Please reach out to Matt Workman (via Gouging Anklebiters) to find out more.)

If Noah cruised to Tompkins, what two BTSHers would you put on his Arc (excluding yourselves)?

Cory: Cherie S, as she makes it look easy out there given the playing surface. She has a lethal shot, one of the best stick handlers and can do it all. Erich G from the Gremlins would be my 2nd choice. He is fast, has a nice shot and sets up teammates as well.

Brianna: Hugh and Nina of Instant Karma. Hugh is a play-maker and fast. He also has a great shot. Nina is awesome at handling the ball, and making plays. She’s a solid player all around.

How did you find out about BTSH?

Cory: The commissioner, we played on a team over at Zog sports.

Brianna: Back in October 2015 my brother texted me and asked if I could sub in because his team was short on girls. I scored 2 goals and had some assists with a lefty stick that Isaac found for me (thank you to the person that let me borrow your stick-it apparently had super powers because I went scoreless all of 2016 without it..).Since then I’ve been with Karma.

When you kill Rich Glanzer, how will you do it?

Cory: I guess since it’s only my third year in BTSH, I have no built up hatred towards Rich. In fact, I get along with Rich. Plus, he is a Mets and Rangers fan.

Brianna: I would never kill a man that allowed my crease goal to count as a respectable goal.

(Ed. Note: Yes, I don’t think we should allow him to ever ref again.)

How many siblings do you have in your family, and how many more can we expect to join BTSH?

Cory: Five siblings and already have one of my sisters playing in the league. Doubtful we will get anybody else to join. My older brother was some player back in the day, unfortunately he hasn’t played in years and Instant Karma could use his scoring ability.

Brianna: I’m the youngest of 6. Cory already did his job in recruiting me and I don’t think the others will join. Sorry!

What do you do for work in the city?

Cory: Senior Accounting Associate at a small public firm.

Brianna: I’m a research assistant at the Simons Foundation for autism research.

Mets or Yankees?

Cory: Mets unfortunately, my dad once said by raising my family as Rangers, Mets, and Jets fans that he should be charged with child abuse.

Brianna: Mets!

(Ed. Note: Brianna, I’d be careful. A few of these answers are very much Rich Glanzer leaning, so he may ask you out on a date. Tell him, “no”, then kill him. Also, happy Bobby Bonilla Day!)

Fuck, marry, and kill the following teams, and why: Islanders, Devils, Rangers –

Cory: 5 to 10 years ago this is an easy answer and that is kill the Devils. They have become so irrelevant over the past 3-4 years that the level of hate isn’t there anymore.

Brianna: Are the Devils still even a team? Sorry Islanders.

(Ed. Not: That’s right — fuck the Rangers!!!)

If you had to pick going to another BTSH team, where would you take your talents?

Cory: I have not given that much thought, I like being on Instant Karma.

Brianna: Hmmmmmmmmmmmm…. Instant. Karma. For. Life.

What are your favorite hobbies (outside of BTSH, of course) in the city?

Cory: Jogging around Astoria, hitting up restaurants and bars with friends. Look forward to attending the U.S. Open every year in late August.

Brianna: I run 5x a week and I’m usually training for a race (marathons). Running at long distances is a good way to explore the boroughs by foot. During the weekends you’ll most likely find me at a dive bar in the LES or the east village, or having brunch. With warmer weather, I usually spend time at an outdoor bar or go to the park and lay out with a good book and some beer. I also enjoy music and try to go to a concert once a month (if not more) and I’m currently trying to build a solid record collection.

If you were given $200 gift card to a bar (don’t worry, we’re not giving you a gift card, so you can answer this with integrity), what bar would you get drinks at?

Cory: I like the dive bars especially Irish pubs so nowhere fancy even with a $200 gift card. O’Hanlon’s in Astoria is great with cheap drinks and buy backs on your third round.

Brianna: Oh boy, that’s a tough question. Probably 169 Bar. It’s a solid dive bar.

(Ed. Note: 169 Bar is always the best choice)

If you were given only $50/week for food and booze in NYC, how would you pull it off?

Cory: I think my Italian portion of my blood would take over and all that money would go towards food. A lot of tuna, rice, and beans that week.

Brianna: Luckily my job provides breakfast and pays for my lunch. With that said, I would order a large lunch and ration it off for dinner Monday-Friday. I normally don’t drink during the week unless it’s for a special occasion (birthday or some other celebration/event) so I wouldn’t spend money on booze during the week. By Saturday-Sunday I would still have $50 to spend. With that said, I would probably buy beer to pregame at home (why spend $8-$15 at a bar for one drink?) and then head out to a bar if friends were there, and maybe buy $5 tecates (if necessary). OR, I would go to this Irish bar where my friend and I only get charged $12 for the both of us for unlimited bud lights, and tequila shots (This is usually our plan of action when we’re both broke). For food on the weekends, I would buy eggs and rice in bulk but ultimately, I could throw the “little sister” card at Cory and have him pay for dinner/lunch after a game.” Vanessa’s dumplings” is a good option too (lots of food for cheap). Oh, did I mention Dun-Well Doughnuts? Another nutritious option for weekend food.

(Ed. Note: you could also probably get by having dinner and drinks every night at 169 Bar on $50)

What is your take on the Citizens’ United ruling?

Cory: What ruling? The news is only focused on Donald Trump’s twitter account. Do I really have to look up the ruling?

Brianna: Huh?

Current Aspirations:

Cory: My short-term plans involve avoiding taking another fall during one of Karma’s games. Two games in a row that I went down to the ground, so it would be nice to not have any new cuts or scrapes on my body after a game. Long-term plans involve having a place in Costa Rica that my wife and I can use whenever we need to get out of the city.

Brianna: for Instant Karma to have a winning record. For my personal life? – I’m pretty content with things. Sometime this year I would like to take a trip to the west coast and start in Vancouver, and finish in San Diego (visit Seattle, Portland, and San Francisco along the way). Maybe squeeze in a trail race while there. Long term goals? Run an ultramarathon and visit Europe. Maybe bring Cory along and see a Liverpool game live at Anfield.

What will the BTSH media will begin to overhype you about:

Cory: I am not sure but I think BTSH media should bring up what will the league do with the two makeup game weekends in September if no rainouts occur. I say we add two regular season games, but I have a feeling the playoffs would just be moved up.

Brianna: Hmmm, BTSH media already hypes me enough. The predictions are probably my favorite part and the endless banter.

If a $20 bill dropped out of someone’s pocket on Fuzz, would you return it?

Cory: Yes, I would return it. What can I say, I have good morals or I like to think I do.

Brianna: Of course! I’m the same person who apologizes to the people who bump/push into me during games.

If you could only watch one movie for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Cory: Coming to America. It’s not my favorite movie of all time or the best movie I have ever seen, but a movie that I never getting tired of watching when it’s on.

Brianna: If this is the only movie I could watch for the rest of my life I would have to pick a light hearted one. “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” would be a good choice for that.

Bleu cheese or Ranch?

Cory: Bleu cheese

Brianna: I don’t remember the last time I had either of these, but I would choose Ranch.

If Instant Karma made it to the BTSH Championship, what team would you want to play?

Cory: Anybody, Instant Karma would be so happy that it wouldn’t matter who we played.

Brianna: Instant Karma and BTSH Championship?! We would be so happy to be there that it wouldn’t matter who we played. Can’t be picky now.

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