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Katz Division Preview

That’s right, we have name changes for the divisions! [You better not change those conference names! –Emeritus] Gone is Tim “I hate this league, I’ve become Adriano, I’m going to do an ‘Old Man Walk’ and move to Wyoming” Brown, and in is Julie Katz! Why Julie? Because she’s one of the prettiest girls in the league, has a great personality, and fills the important Washington D.C. Capitals/Redskins fan quota. That’s right, we have quotas! 

I have no idea what this giraffe/zebra is doing to that poor baby elephant, but its not nearly as bad as what Julie did to Tim. Took away his division name.

I have no idea what this giraffe/zebra is doing to that poor baby elephant, but its not nearly as bad as what Julie did to Tim.  Took away his division name.

I have no clever segue, lets just get to the top division.

1-Filthier
Don't blame me, blame Danielle. I tried to have someone else write the previews but she's sorta busy with rules, captains meetings and Snow Fears.

Don’t blame me, blame Danielle. I tried to have someone else write the previews but she’s sorta busy with rules, captains meetings and “Snow Fears.”

First off, did this website ever congratulate Filthier for winning the championship in 2015? Sam, Walker and myself owe them a beer. But money is tight, so just pick a player and I’ll buy that player a beer. But make it Ann because she’s secretly my favorite Filthier. 

Filthier has by far the top two lines in the league. According to Tim K., they also have the best goalie in the league, who is really clutch and better looking than you (obviously not Zach Norris, but everyone else). While they will miss Jenna and that other dude, Sunny is a secret weapon that shouldn’t be a secret anymore. It’s tough to repeat, but they have the talent to do so. Though I’d bet against it. I think they make a run, but lose in the semis. 

2-Fresh Kills

Calm down Jerry Chavez, this isn't about Gut Rot or  Jonathan Towes = Fresh Kills

Calm down Jerry Chavez, this isn’t about Gut Rot or the Pullouts.  Jonathan Toews = Fresh Kills

For the first time since 2010, and only the second time since 2007 (I have no idea what happened prior), Fresh Kills did not make the semis last year. But despite the slip-up, they are the cream of the BTSH crop. I chose Toews as their picture because whenever I see a close Blackhawks game, I know him or Kane is gonna do something great. And if I’m wrong, its because Seabrook or Duncan Keith were the hero. In other words, I really hope I’m wrong, but they are my pick to win the BTSH Championship this season. But hopefully Trump wins the Presidency and deports Gabe like he promised. 

3- LBS, Inc.

Karstan appears serious after a tough postseason.

Karsten bought glasses during the off-season!

The Lbs. were washed up and over the hill, yet they still won the championship in 2013 2012, and made it to the finals in 2014 2013. Now they are rejuvenated with Scott, his epic fans, and some other young guys. The Lbs. are like Mel Gibson*** and Danny Glover in the Lethal Weapon series. The old grizzly veterans meshing with the young talent. They are certainly a team that can win it all. Though I don’t think they will. I mean I already said FK will. I’m not going to go through this with every preview. 

4-Sky Fighters

Roman, Coop and Stein will never give up the search Dan!

Roman, Coop and Stein will never give up the search Dan!

The Sky Fighters are without their captain as Dan has left us for smoggy L.A. SUA, Cooper, Greg, and the two brothers will try to pick up where they left off last season, in the semis. It was an unexpected run for the team in light blue. Not too many players are left from their 2009 championship team, so I won’t even mention that they won in 2009. 

I have no idea what their roster looks like, but what they lack in talent, they make up for in hustle. Well, not really because you really can’t replace talent, but they do play hard and can beat any team in the league. Also, this needs to be said, be nice to Alok, Coop!

5-Denim Demons

No one can be mad at puppies! Or Germans.

No one can be mad at puppies! Or the Germans.

Sooooooooo this is gonna be awkward….

The Demons had a rough start to their off-season as Lee alleged-Lee retired, and Coach and Paul moved on (but lets not talk about that [I was told where they went, but my memory is a little fuzzy right now. –Emeritus]). So lets just look at the puppies and remember, it’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the dog in the fight. Or something like that. I should really Google it. 

Anyways, don’t relegate the Demons just yet. We have no idea if they picked up anyone and the FA scrimmage always has some Bruggers in it. Unfortunately, it will probably also always have Newman in it since I don’t think he found a team yet.

Much like BTSH, the Astros told Newman he cannot play.  :(

Much like BTSH, the Astros told Newman he cannot play.
🙁

*** = Except they are good people who do not hate Jews and beat their girlfriends.

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