Katz Division Preview
That’s right, we have name changes for the divisions! [You better not change those conference names! –Emeritus] Gone is Tim “I hate this league, I’ve become Adriano, I’m going to do an ‘Old Man Walk’ and move to Wyoming” Brown, and in is Julie Katz! Why Julie? Because she’s one of the prettiest girls in the league, has a great personality, and fills the important Washington D.C. Capitals/Redskins fan quota. That’s right, we have quotas!
I have no clever segue, lets just get to the top division.1-Filthier
First off, did this website ever congratulate Filthier for winning the championship in 2015? Sam, Walker and myself owe them a beer. But money is tight, so just pick a player and I’ll buy that player a beer. But make it Ann because she’s secretly my favorite Filthier.
Filthier has by far the top two lines in the league. According to Tim K., they also have the best goalie in the league, who is really clutch and better looking than you (obviously not Zach Norris, but everyone else). While they will miss Jenna and that other dude, Sunny is a secret weapon that shouldn’t be a secret anymore. It’s tough to repeat, but they have the talent to do so. Though I’d bet against it. I think they make a run, but lose in the semis.
2-Fresh Kills
3- LBS, Inc.
4-Sky Fighters
I have no idea what their roster looks like, but what they lack in talent, they make up for in hustle. Well, not really because you really can’t replace talent, but they do play hard and can beat any team in the league. Also, this needs to be said, be nice to Alok, Coop!
5-Denim Demons
Sooooooooo this is gonna be awkward….
The Demons had a rough start to their off-season as Lee alleged-Lee retired, and Coach and Paul moved on (but lets not talk about that [I was told where they went, but my memory is a little fuzzy right now. –Emeritus]). So lets just look at the puppies and remember, it’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the dog in the fight. Or something like that. I should really Google it.
Anyways, don’t relegate the Demons just yet. We have no idea if they picked up anyone and the FA scrimmage always has some Bruggers in it. Unfortunately, it will probably also always have Newman in it since I don’t think he found a team yet.
*** = Except they are good people who do not hate Jews and beat their girlfriends.