If the BTSH playoffs were to start today (or this Sunday), here’s how the matchups would look based on the current standings. And while we’re at it, let’s go ahead and predict the whole thang. And…we’re off!
Opening Round – September 25th
20. Gut Rot at 13. Poutine Machine
Prediction: I love Gut Rot, but the Machine is heating up at the right time. Not even Fresh Kills is looking forward to facing them in the Quarterfinals. Poutine takes this contest 5-1.
19. What The Puck at 14. Cobra Kai
Prediction: Usually all bets are off when divisional foes square off in the playoffs, however the #dojorachels are just too strong and will lead the Cobra Kai to victory 4-2.
18. Corlears Hookers at 15. Dark Rainbows
Prediction: The depleted Rainbows draw the short straw here and have to face a fully-loaded Hookers squad. Purple and pink may look dashing on Barcelona, but this one gets ugly quick with the Hookers winning 7-0.
17. Gremlins at 16. Tompkins Square Riots
Prediction: Yikes! An angry Jamie is a real thing. And so are the Gremmies with Cody and Erich back in action. As much fight as the Riots have in them it won’t be enough in this one with the Gremlins looking confident 4-1.
Round of 16 – October 2nd
18. Corlears Hookers at 1. Fuzz
Prediction: Congratulations! You snagged the overall seed! And what do you get? A date with that fully-loaded and playoff tested Hookers squad. And that’s really the storyline in this one. The Fuzz’s featured players don’t exactly have the playoff pedigree for a deep run. But it won’t matter here as they win in OT 4-3 anyway.
17. Gremlins at 2. Rehabs
Prediction: This one has disaster written all over it for the Gremlins. Luckily for Walker, he’ll now get to scrimmage till his heart’s content for three straight Sundays. Habs switch to cruise control and make an opening statement 6-1.
14. Cobra Kai at 3. Butchers
Prediction: As we pointed out earlier in CK’s opening round prediction, divisional matchups in the playoffs can make for some ‘must see hockey.’ This one could end up being the GAME OF THE WEEK with the final highlight of Rachel stealing the puck from a Rachel in the neutral zone and dishing to a streaking Pete for the triple OT winner 5-4.
13. Poutine Machine at 4. Fresh Kills
Prediction: Thanks for coming out this year Machine. Your run in the second half of the season was a nice little story, but this is how big boys and girls play hockey. Fresh Kills spanks the poutine out of the Machine 9-0.
12. Sky Fighters at 5. Filthier
Prediction: Not the matchup either of these teams wanted. Filthier’s title defense starts off against a team that is built around defense. As frustrating as it’ll be for them, they’ll win 3-1.
11. Gouging Anklebiters at 6. LBS, Inc.
Prediction: LBS hates this matchup. Hates it, hates it, hates it! The Biters made it all the way to the frozen four last year with Probie just as a pup. He’s better this year and don’t forget that Joe P is back. So, LBS, want to win this one? Then take care of Luke and get him an Uber to the courts. If not, then Schuie’s reffing his next game with a celebratory beverage again.
10. Denim Demons at 7. Mathematics
Prediction: Always an epic battle when these two square off. Hats off to the Demons for overcoming the injury bug all season and in-season recruitment of new players, but Math just wants this one more. 3-2.
9. Mega Touch at 8. Instant Karma
Prediction: Oh, please let this matchup work out. Not that we think Karma is better, because these teams are pretty even, it is because Mega is the most fun on and off the court and Karma is pretty chill too. Except for Brianna, she’s not. And she’ll ruin Meag’s lives 2-1.
Quarterfinals – October 9th
8. Instant Karma at 1. Fuzz
Prediction: Revenge game for Rich and the remaining two Elves. Ben & Ko. may have krushed them last year, but the Fuzz is a whole different animal 5-2.
7. Mathematics at 2. Rehabs
Prediction: UPSET. The story no one is talking about lately is how vulnerable the Habs have looked. With the Norri coming together like Voltron it will be too much for Sena and Welch to handle. 3-2 Math.
6. LBS, Inc. at 3. Butchers
Prediction: The Butchers were able to take advantage of their powder-puff schedule, but they won’t be able to take advantage of LBS. 4-3.
5. Filthier at 4. Fresh Kills
Prediction: Ariel plays brilliantly, Soko looks solid on defense and the defending champs go down swinging 6-5 in regulation.
Semifinals – October 16th
7. Mathematics at 1. Fuzz
Prediction: This one gets super heated with Derek and Becky from Math and Jeff and Paul from Fuzz getting tossed near the end of the first half due to a misunderstanding about Eli. Zach moves up on offense to join Sam and Roxy and they stifle Hicks, Alyssa and Miles 2-1.
6. LBS, Inc. at 4. Fresh Kills
Prediction: It’s too bad this contest can’t be a best of five series determined over the span of two weeks instead of one Sunday afternoon. But this is BTSH and every playoff game in our league is a win or go home Game 7. And you can bet both of these teams will be balls to wall (fence and rope) to win this one. But there can only be one…and it’ll be Fresh Kills 4-3.
Championship Game – October 23rd
Mathematics vs. Fresh Kills
Prediction: No ranks. No records. None of that matters when taking home the PBP Cup is on the line. The Mets didn’t make it back to the World Series this year (because they imploded down the stretch and now they’re looting and turning over cars in celebratory fashion in our nation’s capital), but Math did make the playoffs. And they’ll be drinking from the Cup and dangling from Parkside’s chandlers during the Awards Ceremony.