By Bill “What Did I Miss?” Tucker

In the storied history of the Black Top Street Hockey league, one axiom has always held true.  It’s not who wins the championship that matters.  It’s how much fun everyone had along the way.

On the exterior, BTSH may look like just another beer league.  People get together, play hockey, maybe have a pint afterwards and go home.  A fun way to spend a couple hours on a Sunday afternoon.  But for me and so many others, BTSH offers so much more.  The soul of the league isn’t in the games, the standings or even the winners.  It’s the way you can get lit up like a Christmas tree at the hands of Adriano and clink a cocktail with him thirty minutes later.  It’s in how someone on the Anklebiters will always spot you a High Life, especially if you’re “just about to leave”.  It’s in the many friendships, relationships and marriages that have been formed whiling away Sunday evenings in the company of teammates.  The Championship Game is a perfect opportunity for those of you who’ve missed out on this crucial piece of the BTSH experience to get a taste of what this league is all about.  As a result, here’s a primer to help you have an amazing time on November 4^th.

Play Your Game

Before arriving to the court, you should show up to your exhibition game.  After all, not only is this the last hockey hurrah of the season, it’s the perfect opportunity to engage in outrageous shenanigans.  These games are all unsupervised, so feel free to let the goalies take face-offs, brown bag whilst playing defense and dress in a variety of ridiculous costumes.  If the common bystander isn’t gawking in either amusement or disgust, you’re doing something wrong.

Stretch Out…Your Liver

While I refuse to condone excessive drinking on this family oriented website (wink wink, nudge nudge), there’s nothing wrong with a social few before sitting down to watch the championship game.  Many a den of iniquity resides in the neighborhood of Tompkins Square Park, so feel free to grab some teammates and have one last hockey based hurrah before the season concludes.   And if you see me face down in a fish tank somewhere on Avenue B, rouse me from my stupor so I can experience….

The Heckle Wall

Despite sanctions from the league office, some teams have been known to throw their playoff games just so they can be a part of this BTSH institution.  For those unaware, the Heckle Wall allows you to hurl insults at the best the league has to offer as they toil for the championship.  The more lubricated the Wall Wailers tend to be, the more creative they become so join in on the random fun.  Besides, nothing says league comradery like screaming, “Scott Lee is a 12 year old girl” and making fun of ***that guy on LBS’s*** signature headband.

The Game Itself

Despite the shenanigans, street hockey fans are going to be treated to one doozey of a final. On one side stands Fresh Kills, winners of last year’s tournament looking to add a repeat to their impressive team resume.  One the other side sits LBS, giant killers who had to defeat the third ranked Poutine Machine and the top seeded Hookers to reach hockey nirvana.  Both battle tested and ready.  Both thirsty for one last W.  The stage is set for an epic contest.

The After Party

When the champs are crowned, the fun doesn’t stop there.  The league’s end of season party generally takes place at Parkside Lounge, a seedy dive that has all the gritty charm BTSH regulars crave.  Featuring pool, a photo booth and a back area where the ORG will hand out its yearly awards, the evening is good fun for everybody involved.   It’s also an excellent opportunity to have embarrassing photographs taken of you for this very website.  Just be sure to take Monday off from work or at least come up with a decent excuse for the inevitable call out sick.

Follow this blueprint for Sunday success and you’ll be well on your way to catching the BTSH bug.  And remember, we all boil down to grown adults chasing an orange ball around a basketball court.  The blast we have after the games is what makes the whole thing special.