by Richiehero

If you had to pick two OG’s for BTSH, it would be Bob W. and SB. SB created BTSH, and Bob W. became the commissioner. Those two created and formed the early days of BTSH. While we will forever be in debt to those trailblazers, the (ambiguously straight) duo that turned BTSH from a fun league to a legendary league are Derek and Eli.


The pair ran for many years and in my opinion, no one has done it better (no offense to Sven, me or Isaac). They would show up each Sunday and take pictures and watch every game so they would have something to write about. They even wrote previews for post-season exhibition games.

Biters Demoted

They also were not afraid to pick a winner and loser, and make some hockey digs. Playing for the 2008 Elves was a miserable, miserable experience. We won our first game against the Tuques and lost every game after except the time we played Rachel Greene’s team and tied them because any team Rachel is on isn’t very good at hockey (except for her stacked Feasterville team that she probably should call Fuzz). Unlike the safespace safety pins of Isaac, Sam and Rachel, these two were not afraid to call it like they saw it. When the Elves played the Anklebiters in a postseason scrimmage their game preview was, “Bad hockey.” Can you imagine if someone said that about a Rainbows v Gut Rot game? (2017 Rainbows version, since asshole Cro got his wish again…and made the Hookers really good again by taking Roberts, Bill, Kevin etc. from the Rainbows.)


But Derk and Elly were so much more than just writers for the website. Both were bar regulars and a friendly face on the side of the courts. If there was a heavy rock on the courts, they could probably bench press it as both benched more than 259 pounds, and anyone that’s ever benched more than 259 pounds is really strong and probably very good looking.


On the rink, things weren’t so great for the pair. Math kinda sucked for a long time until a Norris came along. Just one: Zach. But luckily Zach cloned himself into several other Norris’ including a dullard named Sam who was really good at hockey. Math made it all the way to the semis where they famously lost to the Hookers in overtime. While everyone blames Aaron for missing a goal, I blame Math for blowing a 2-1 lead with a minute left. Yeah, Aaron screwed Math, but Math screwed Math first.


Unfortunately, Derk gave the GM reigns to Zach and Sam and Math has yet to win a game against anyone but the Rainbows, Fuzz (in a shootout) and Gut Rot since. BTW, I think Amy just defected to the Sky Fighters.

Happy Birthday Derek!

But the best way to end this tangent-filled article is by remembering them for what they did when they vacated their throne as .org writers. They nominated themselves for Best Duo. They decided it would be funny if they won and thought they’d get booed off the stage. But the fans would have none of it and cheered them. Because they deserve it.


Some Fine Lookin' MFers


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