Fabricated Three Stars of the Sweet 16
by Sultan
Third Star
Bob W., Adriano, Tim B., Danielle, you…the BTSH Universe
It isn’t a joke. Rain Fears is a real thing you’ll eventually have to deal with. – Adriano
There were no Rain Fears during the Sultan’s watch. Every other Commissioner/Sultan had Rain Fears, but not me. Do you know how much I was going to brag about that? I was going to be insufferable! This was going to be bigger than the 2010 Elves Championship and my goal against Tim K. combined! I was having T-shirts made up. During my brief reign we had the first JW Tournament, a Prom and a women’s scrimmage that discriminated against every man unless you were a goalie…you all would have hated me! But alas, stupid Rain Fears ruined my glory. Smited again.
Second (NOT A) Star
Charlotte Poutine
Deciding whether to cancel the games or not was hard. We really needed to know how the courts looked. Charlotte lives close enough so I asked her if she could check it out for me and the league. In an unbelievable selfish move she refused to come back from Maine. Or was it New Hampshire? Are they the same thing? I would think Maine because their lobsters trump New Hampshire. But I digress. Charlotte had a chance to be a real hero, but instead she was busy mocking us with her 2016 Rookie of the Year trophy she stole from Alyssa. For shame Charlotte, for shame!
First Star
Tompkins Square Riots
We were having an uninterrupted season until this guy showed up.
There was not a single person who thought the Riots would not be eliminated on October 8th. Well, maybe Max C., who begged the BTSH Universe for advice on how to beat Fresh Kills. And with expert advice from Russ and Zac, plus Mr. Met, the Riots survived another week. Kudos to them and shame on the overrated Fresh Kills. Time to get on the Cobra Kai bandwagon because clearly, FK has jumped the shark.
Honorable mentions:
by Isaac
David R from the Demons for documenting the current state of the courts on Sunday by posting timely photos on FB. He accomplished something that Charlotte could not.
Conspiracy Theory: Seems oddly convenient that our Sultan would cancel games with his team desperately needing an additional week to get healthy. Yes, the Rain Fears have dominated this Stars post, but for the record it stopped raining around noon and there was only an overcast for the remainder of the day. If Hicks plays this Sunday and the Fuzz win we may have to stamp it with an asterisk. #gogremlins