Can Tim Survive Rain Gate?
We try to keep it light-hearted here but its tough when we just sit on our butt for six days looking forward to our glorious Sundays. So with the birds chirping, little kids dancing and most importantly, the sun shining, BTSH Commissioner Tim “I hate fun” decided to cancel all games for Sunday May 31. The big question now is, can Tim survive Rain Gate?
The BTSH Universe is on edge as Tim awaits his fate.
As you may expect, the BTSH Universe is torn. When it was sunny out, 2015 Royal Rumble Winner Marissa from WTP said,
“Tie him up, remove his shoes and socks….and stick him in the Tompkins Square Park bathroom.”
However just like Tim predicted, at 4:30 the rains poured down. And some people were grateful, including BTSH Legend, Craig.
“I’d like to personally extend a thank you to Tim Brown for having the courage and foresight to cancel today’s games. It has put off the inevitable introduction of the odor of wet smelly goalie gear to my newborn son’s delicate palate. Bravo sir! Also, fuck you Jamie!”
Well, since it was a great prediction by Tim, I guess he will be spared. But wait…was it a prediction or was it something more sinister? Grute’s brother, the infamous Ben C. of 2010 BTSH Champions Instant Karma shares his conspiracy theory.
“Summoning a rainstorm merely to justify his earlier decision is a disgraceful use of Tim’s satanic powers.”
As you might expect, with the NSA and Bill Belichick video taping the whole City, damning evidence has surfaced.
With the new found evidence we go live to our Late Night Legal Info Commercial Expert, Shaun d. who breaks down Tim’s chances of survival.
“You can pull the plug.
The hit’s already been called in. He’ll be lucky if he survives Monday morning.”
Goodbye Tim. We will miss you, and wish you well in all your future endeavors.
But we look forward to our new BTSH Commissioner(s), the Ant Overlords!
USA!! USA!!