BTSH WEEKLY RECAP – WEEK 4
by Eli Kazin

The Games

TIM AND ROB NEED TO START LOOKING FOR NEW JOBS. With the goalie platoon of Tim Gray and Rob Gorden unavailable, Dustin D’Addato stepped in and recorded the shutout, leading the Mighty Squirrels to their first victory of the season, 2-0 against Mexican Standoff. Eric Cole scored the game winning goal in the first half, and Arthur Revechkis added an insurance goal in the second half.

HE’S GONE FROM ASHY TO CLASSY. Paul “Ashy Larry” Vernon scored the game winning goal on a shot that teammates described as a “f—ing sweet.” James Pereira and Suvin Malik added goals for Filthy Gorgeous, who defeated LBS 3-1 for their first victory of the season.

ELLERY CLAIMS HE SCORED TWO GOALS. Libby Lewis scored two goals, including the game winner, and Chris Beauvois registered his first shutout of the season as the Corlears Hookers remained undefeated with a 4-0 victory against the Denim Demons.

THE SAUSAGE PARTY WAS A BAD IDEA. What The Puck doubled up a female-less Pork Fried Rice in their championship game rematch by a 4-2 score. Tom MacDonald scored two goals, including the game winner, and Mike Woodsworth and Darrell Hartman each added one goal for the defending champions, who were paced by solid defense from Amy Farley and Susanna Tenney.

J.P. CHAPUT WOULD RATHER NOT PARTICIPATE IN A SHOOTOUT. J.P. Chaput scored the winning goal with less than one minute remaining in overtime to lead the Rehabs past the Bad Touch, 1-0. Anthony Romeo made 13 saves for the shutout, and was assisted on defense by six blocked shots from Gina Hackett, who dedicated her performance to Unicorns goalie Craig Lacombe.

FEAR DOES NOT EXIST IN THIS DOJO. Alex Nicoloff scored the game winning goal midway through the second half, and Brian Morrison added a goal as Cobra Kai equaled their win total from the 2006 season with a 2-1 victory against the Tuques.

WHERE WERE THEY IN THE FIRST HALF? Chris Eng scored two goals, including the game winner, and Aaron Coles, Aaron Mullan, and Ted Kilcommons also added goals as the Unicorns scored five times in the second half to defeat the Gouging Anklebiters, 5-1. Charles DeFranco scored the lone goal for the Gouging Anklebiters.

IT WAS THE SMELL THAT KEPT THEM GROUNDED. Fresh Kills brought the Sky Fighters back to earth with a 4-2 win, as Dave Gil de Rubio got the win in the first game of his goaltending doubleheader.

MAYBE THEY SHOULDN’T HAVE HECKLED HIM. Despite fifty minute efforts from Georgine Paulin and Sheena Otto, and the fill-in goaltending of Dave Gil de Rubio, who was heckled from the bleachers by his Fresh Kills teammates, the Dark Rainbows defeated the Mathematics, 6-5.

Nickname Nook With Derek Tagliarino
These people will now be known as the following:
Brendan Kearney of Corlears Hookers is now Dutch.
Corey Winters of What The Puck is now Chongo…and here are some words that rhyme with Chongo: mongo, bongo, Belgian Congo, Roberto Luongo.

Power Play/Offsides
Power Play:
– Mexican Standoff’s food tent. In honor of their game with the Mighty Squirrels, Mexican Standoff broke out the fajita bar and a flip-cup tournament. The menu included flour tortillas, chicken, beef, lettuce, tomato, onion, cheese, and a delicious homemade salsa. The big winner in the flip-cup tournament was Jason Rosenstock, who had to perform double duty and fill two spots on his side of the table.
– Craig Lacombe’s Pee-wee Herman impression. For those who remained at the Johnson’s late enough, Craig Lacombe put on a brief, but solid, impersonation of Pee-wee Herman’s Big Shoe Dance from Pee-wee’s Big Adventure. When “Tequila” by The Champs was cued up, Craig made his way onto the bar…and somewhere, Paul Reubens was smiling.

Offsides:
– Nothing strong here, just an assortment of brief items…Patrick Larsen of the Mighty Squirrels was tossed from a shift for giving a reach-around to an opponent, Mauricio Rojas of the Corlears Hookers was tossed from two shifts for physical play, Peter “Geech” Prohaska of the Gouging Anklebiters cutting his trademark curly locks, and the Mathematics had more attendance issues.

Next Week
May 13th, 2007
3pm Corlears 1 Cobra Kai vs. What The Puck
3pm Corlears 2 Pork Fried Rice vs. Mathematics
3pm Moffo Gouging Anklebiters vs. Bad Touch
4pm Corlears 1 Fresh Kills vs. Rehabs
4pm Corlears 2 GAME OF THE WEEK Mexican Standoff vs. LBS
– The last time these two teams were scheduled to play each other, Mexican Standoff decided to go to the beach.
4pm Moffo Unicorns vs. Denim Demons
5pm Corlears 1 Filthy Gorgeous vs. Tuques
5pm Corlears 2 Dark Rainbows vs. Sky Fighters
5pm Moffo Corlears Hookers vs. Mighty Squirrels