BTSH WEEKLY RECAP – WEEK 3
by Eli Kazin

Again, if anyone has anything they want mentioned in these recaps, talk to me at the games, at the bars, or shoot me an email at themajordeegan AT yahoo DOT com.

The Games

STITCHES DO NOT KEEP HAANWA CHAU OFF THE COURT. One day after receiving a nasty gash, and stitches, across the bridge of her nose, Haanwa scored a goal to lead Mexican Standoff to a 5-3 victory against the Dark Rainbows. Ben Bloom had a hat trick, and Jeff “Peaches” Hendricks added a goal for Standoff, who were playing with emergency goalie Paul Valenti between the pipes.

STRIKE FIRST, STRIKE HARD, NO MERCY SIR. Brian Morrison, Derek Tagliarino, Mariko Nakatani, and Jonathan Levine scored goals for Cobra Kai, who jumped out to a four-goal lead just fifteen minutes into the game en route to a 4-2 upset of LBS.

FIVE IS GREATER THAN FOUR. Ted Shumaker scored two goals, including the game winner, and Martin Cejka added a goal to lead the Sky Fighters past the shorthanded Mathematics, 3-2. Andy Pratt scored two goals and Sheena Otto played the entire game as the only female in attendance for the Mathematics.

STYLIN’ AND PROFILIN’. Ellery “The Nature Boy” Gillette scored two goals as the Denim Demons won their contest with the Mighty Squirrels, 6-4. With the victory, the Demons also won a case of Pabst Blue Ribbon, which those who remained at the Johnson’s past sunset were able to enjoy.

CRAIG LACOMBE WANTS YOU TO KNOW THAT YOU HAVE ZERO. Craig Lacombe registered his first shutout of the season, although he was bailed out with a huge save from defender Lindsay Turley, as the Unicorns blanked the Bad Touch, 3-0.

OLD MACDONALD HAD A FARM, E I E I O. Tom MacDonald scored two goals as What The Puck defeated the Tuques, 5-1.

ANT WAS BOTH FILTHY AND GORGEOUS. Tim Hannon scored two goals, including the game winner, as Pork Fried Rice squeaked past Filthy Gorgeous, 3-2. Ant Ventolieri added two assists, and was the center of attention due to his slick new hairstyle, complete with gel.

HOPEFULLY SHE GOT THE BALL AS A MEMENTO. Hiromi Moore’s first goal at any level of hockey was the game winning goal and started a three-goal outburst in the span of one minute early in the second half as Fresh Kills notched a 5-1 win against the Gouging Anklebiters. Kevin Foster also scored a goal for Fresh Kills, and Eric “El Guapo” DiPierri scored the lone goal for the Anklebiters.

THE HOOKERS GOT A SECOND WIND. In a battle of teams with high attendance at Saturday’s tournament, the Corlears Hookers bested the Rehabs, 3-1.

Nickname Nook With Derek Tagliarino
These people will now be known as the following:
Alex Eben Meyer of Bad Touch is now Coop.
Janica Lee of Denim Demons is now Tussin.

Power Play/Offsides
Power Play:
– Ed Lau of Rehabs and anyone who showed up and/or donated money on Saturday. The charity tournament, organized by Ed, raised more than $3,300 for the American Cancer Society, including some donations from league members who did not participate in the tournament. Those who were debating showing up were glad they played, and despite the early starting time all in attendance enjoyed the event…even Haanwa.
– Mexican Standoff’s court side accessories. One bucket of chicken, one boom box in a rectangular box with a boom box graphic on the front, and most important, zero open container citations.

Offsides:
– Typographical errors on the new Gouging Anklebiters uniforms. Apparently, the Gounging Anklebiters are “black for street hockey” …good for them.
– The bird fountain at Corlears actually works. Some kid was operating it prior to the Mathematics/Sky Fighters matchup, causing the pavement behind the goal to become a little slick.

Next Week
May 6th, 2007
3pm Corlears 1 Cobra Kai vs. Tuques
3pm Corlears 2 Bad Touch vs. Rehabs
3pm Moffo Sky Fighters vs. Fresh Kills
4pm Corlears 1 Unicorns vs. Gouging Anklebiters
4pm Corlears 2 Mighty Squirrels vs. Mexican Standoff
4pm Moffo Mathematics vs. Dark Rainbows
5pm Corlears 1 GAME OF THE WEEK Pork Fried Rice vs. What The Puck
– The last time these two teams faced off, What The Puck defeated Pork Fried Rice to win the 2006 BTSH championship.
5pm Corlears 2 Corlears Hookers vs. Denim Demons
5pm Moffo LBS vs. Filthy Gorgeous