BTSH WEEKLY RECAP – 23 SEPT. 2007
by Eli Kazin

The regular season is (almost) over. The playoffs are just around the corner, and anyone can win the title. Look for a playoff preview towards the end of the week. Catch me at the courts, the bars, or email me at themajordeegan [at] yahoo [dot] com with anything noteworthy. Onto the results…
———————————————
The Games

HATS OFF TO TOM MACDONALD. Tom MacDonald scored three goals, including two in the final five minutes of the game, as What The Puck clinched the fourth seed with a 6-4 victory against the Denim Demons. The Denim Demons, behind two goals from Micael Holmström and one goal from Mike Pereira, had rallied from a three goal second half deficit to tie the game. Darrell ‘Accurate Bob’ Hartman scored two goals and Corey ‘Chongo’ Winters added one goal for What The Puck, while Jeff Kamen also scored a goal for the Denim Demons.

GET USED TO THE NOON START TIME. In a noon matchup between two teams that could find themselves in the 15 to 18 seeded play-in games next weekend, Megan Kelly’s deflection proved to be the game winner, as the Gouging Anklebiters beat the Mighty Squirrels, 2-1. Eric ‘El Guapo’ DiPierri also scored a goal for the Gouging Anklebiters, while the Mighty Squirrels goal was scored by Mike Mincieli.

SHANE DEBLASIO HAS NO MORE GOALS IN RESERVE. Shane DeBlasio scored two second half goals, and Alexandre Frenette scored the game winner in overtime, as Fresh Kills rallied for a 3-2 victory against LBS. Karsten Pichon and Dustin Shutes each scored a goal for LBS.

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN GAMES START ON TIME. Tim Hannon scored three goals, and Brian ‘Grandmaster B’ Barrett added two goals, as Pork Fried Rice defeated Mexican Standoff, 7-2. The first few minutes of the game were played three-on-three, as Mexican Standoff had no women at the time, and Pork Fried Rice had only three players besides their goalie. Ant ‘Father Time’ Ventolieri and Mike ‘Cupcake’ Bartlett each added a goal for Pork Fried Rice, while Tommy Cho and Jeffrey Hendricks were the goal scorers for Mexican Standoff.

MINKUS CAN NOT WIN THE GAME THAT MATTERS MOST. Molly Holder and Theo Waters each scored a goal as the Rehabs doubled up the Tuques, 2-1. Pete Wilson scored the lone goal for the Tuques, while Minkus suffered his only loss of the day, as he also filled in, and recorded wins, for the Gouging Anklebiters and What The Puck.

WHY AM I DOMINO? John Nielsen, P.T. Walkley, and Sean Reynolds each scored two goals, as the Dark Rainbows clinched the third seed with an 8-2 victory against Cobra Kai. Josh Wilson and Lindsey Foehrenbach also scored goals for the Dark Rainbows, while Peter Oblamski and Ray ‘Domino’ Chan were the goal scorers for Cobra Kai.

J.P. CHAPUT AND THE REHABS DOUBLE THEIR PLEASURE. J.P. Chaput scored two second half goals as the Rehabs rallied for a 2-1 victory against Filthy Gorgeous. Anthony Romeo registered 24 saves for the victory, while Suvin Malik scored the lone goal for Filthy Gorgeous, with an assist to Jeff Giberstein.

SADLY, HE DID NOT WEAR RED PANTS. Jonathan Rick and James Pereira each scored two goals as Filthy Gorgeous defeated the Sky Fighters, 6-1. Ben Chadwick and Suvin Malik also added goals for Filthy Gorgeous, while Amy Lott scored the lone goal for the Sky Fighters.

DUTCH DOES NOT PLAY IN MEANINGLESS GAMES. With the top seed already clinched, Brendan ‘Dutch’ Kearney decided to play soccer, and missed the Corlears Hookers 3-1 victory against the Bad Touch. Kelly Buchanan, Peter ‘Purple Rain’ Putka, and Riley Olson each scored a goal for the Corlears Hookers. Amy Krawczyk scored the lone goal for the Bad Touch.

$HOWT!M3 RETURNS, DOES NOT SCORE. After missing three games with a injured foot after crashing through the metal fence and onto the FDR Drive, Hector ‘$howT!m3′ Melendez returned and provided an emotional lift as the Unicorns defeated the shorthanded Mathematics, 7-1, to clinch the second seed. Chris Eng notched the hat trick for the Unicorns, who also received goals from Allison Busch, Aaron Mullan, Brendan Grainger, and Courtney Butler. For the Mathematics, Andrew Lu scored the lone goal, and Georgine ‘Mulva’ Paulin played all fifty minutes as the only female in attendance.
———————————————
Nickname Nook With Derek Tagliarino
(please send all comments to derektag-at-gmail-dot-com)

Jerome Ramos of Cobra Kai is now Hornswoggle.
(http://youtube.com/watch?v=nda_OSWeyn8)

Mark McAdam of the Unicorns is now Boner.
(http://www.vidilife.com/video_play_371944_Boner_Stabone.htm)
———————————————
Unsung Hero of the Week

The unsung hero for this week is Caroline Currie of Fresh Kills, who took a ball to the mouth and another to the forehead in the first half (from the same opposing player, no less), uttered a few profanities, but did not miss a shift, and helped rally her team to victory. She also played in the All-Star Game as the female representative for Fresh Kills.
———————————————
2007 BTSH All-Star Game

Highlights from the All-Star Game:

– Referee Jim Dandeneau of the Denim Demons was ejected in the second half and replaced by Patrick Larsen of the Mighty Squirrels.
– Molly Jacobs of LBS jumped on the back of Eric ‘El Guapo’ DiPierri of the Gouging Anklebiters, because referee Alex Eben Meyer, also known as Coop, told her she would earn a penalty shot if she did. Unfortunately, Jacobs failed to score on the penalty shot, and took a hard fall after failing to latch on to El Guapo’s back.
– P.J. Lopez of Pork Fried Rice scored the only goal in the all-goalie halftime spectacle.
– MultiBall proved successful, as most of the goals during the game were scored in these short interludes.
– After four defeats, Black team captain Molly Jacobs finally won an All-Star Game.
– El Guapo, James Pereira of Filthy Gorgeous, and Dave Sokolyansky of Fresh Kills each scored goals during the non-MultiBall part of the game.
– At the conclusion of the game, Jim Dandeneau and The Fourth Estate successfully dumped a bucket of ice water onto league executive Jeremy Schumacher of the Gouging Anklebiters.
– Craig ‘Ug’ Lacombe of the Unicorns did not streak.
———————————————
News and Notes

Molly Holder, Theo Waters, and Dustin Shutes scored their first BTSH goals….In a last ditch effort to avoid allowing any more regular season goals, What The Puck goalie Roderick ‘Guy LeDouche’ Cruz opted to sit out the game, claiming “business emergencies.”
———————————————
Upcoming Schedule

29-Sep-2007

Mathematics (7-8-0-1) vs. Corlears Hookers (15-1)
*make up game

30-Sep-2007 – play-offs week 1

Noon C1 Mexican Standoff vs. Sky Fighters
Noon C2 Gouging Anklebiters vs. Cobra Kai
1pm C1 Fresh Kills vs. Lbs
1pm C2 Rehabs vs. Filthy Gorgeous
2pm C1 Corlears Hookers vs. MEX/SF
2pm C2 Unicorns vs. GAB/CK
3pm C1 Denim Demons vs. Bad Touch
3pm C2 What the Puck vs. Tuques
4pm C1 Pork Fried Rice vs. Mathematics
4pm C2 Dark Rainbows vs. Mighty Squirrels
(sunset 6:40pm)