Before Cat B was handed her walking papers by Glanzer, this is one of the last articles she worked on. We hope you enjoy it.
By Cat B and Jess D
Is BTSH a hockey league with a drinking problem or a drinking league with a hockey problem? Old school or new school? Hot dog or sandwich?
Just for a moment, let’s put our differences aside, and focus on what really matters: hair.
BTSH Media is back baby with top notch investigative journalism* getting to the bottom of the timeless hockey question of who has the best flow.
*running around at the courts making various people pose for portrait mode photos
A BTSH rock n roll classic, here we have Mike D. His 80’s locks can be spotted from just about anywhere on the court and not just because he wears a bright orange jersey. When asked how he brushes his hair, he replied “What’s a brush?”
HEY REMEMBER THAT TIME HE PICKED UP A PIGEON.
Rock on, man.
A rookie on the scene (POTENTIAL ROTY? At it again with extremely-obvious-awards-manipulations-using-the-media) and an excellent complement to his fellow aforementioned What the Puck teammate, Henry adds a headband accessory as an adept nod to that 70’s look, frequently taking the time to color-coordinate with his orange jersey.
Hot Rod with the hot rod on his tee. Yeah ok that pun was a fucking stretch. But no denying that this Gremlin is at the forefront of style and sophistication. Can you say silver fox? When asked about his favorite products and techniques, Rod replied: “This is for what again? Huh.”
Honestly we didn’t really want to include him but he threw such a stink about it!!! Blah blah he looks like John Snow. Hair drama score: 5/10.
That said, Russ was standing next to this guy and WOW. We were too intimidated to ask him for a direct pic so please enjoy this creepy stalker-esque photo. Whoever you are, sorry in advance.
While there are two Scotty K’s in the league, there is only one with ridiculously good hair (because the other literally has none). Scott likes to deep condition with cheese whiz from Pat’s cheesesteaks in his home city of Philly to keep his locks looking fresh.
POST MORTEM. Thanks a lot Bryan. Just when the Rainbows were getting cool again you decided to cut your hair. We can assure you all, it looked pretty good in terms of flow. Like one time I saw him from a distance and thought to myself, “wow, that girl uses great conditioner”. (I also probably need glasses). He also looked kinda like Ned Stark, to continue on with the Game of Thrones character references (another post mortem).
Just because you don’t have flow doesn’t mean you can’t rock the strong confidence that comes with it. Maybe too much confidence as you can clearly see an anonymous bystander trying to get Scott to put his shirt back on.