Hazy Memories
By Anonymous


The first ever BTSH 80s Prom was Saturday night and it was a huge success, especially if success is measured in alcohol and random hookups. Even before entering the actual bar, walking down 30th street with my date we noticed a bunch of girls in front of us dressed in modern attire with one dude in their group rocking a mullet with shiny silver pants and his arms around two of them. While my date tried to convince me these people had to be on their way to the 80s prom I told her the girls were dressed normally, the dude was probably just a random weirdo. Upon reaching Dewey’s, the girls walked towards the hotel next door while the guy they were with pivoted into Dewey’s and told them to get changed and join him at prom. That random weirdo turned out to be non-other than ScottyK who had just met them on the street. That none of those girls came back and slept with him is one of the great tragedies of this fine event.

Memories of prom are sadly limited but here are some beautiful moments:

– Photoboth photoshoots that usually devolved into pure chaos.

– Tables of people eating wings while watching The Goonies (I wonder how many times that’s happened at a bar in the last 20 years).
– Absolute pandemonium when Africa came on.
…followed by some very questionable dancing.
– Cherie’s wig, even more impressive than her slapshot.
– Some of the most outrageous hairstyles I’ve ever seen.
– Hicks partying days after ditching the walking boot and definitely making up for lost time, and Charlotte doing the same on a broken foot (dancing too!).
– Scotty discussing plans to be sperm donor for a league couple (not a euphemism).
– Another appearance by the Hogg handlebar mustache.
– Tia taking down someone’s number in the middle of the dance floor, not in a sexual way, but so she could pick up the goalie pads first thing in the morning (also not a euphemism).
– A few hammered league members trying to do the venue math at 1 AM and pay the tab in between rounds of shots.
– An impressive amount of making out that will never be discussed again.
– And finally, the massive round of applause when JW won The Farmer Ted Award for “Most Likely To Have Graduated High School A Virgin.” Well deserved buddy.

Thanks to Marko, Cheeky and the Prom Committee for putting on a truly magical 80s evening; they never gave us up, and they never let us down. It was truly an unforgettable night, even if we can’t remember half of it.

Prom Award Winners


photo credit: probably Cheeky?

A comprehensive list of your prom award winners, as best as our collective memories can recall:

The Molly Ringwald Award (Prom Queen) – Sarah
The Rob Lowe Award (Prom King) – Alok
The Princess Diana Award (Best dressed) – Brittany
The Glanzer Award (Least likely to get laid) – Glanzer
The John Stamos Award (Best hair) – Liza
The Matt Dillon Award (Most likely to have slept with a teacher) – Chadwick
The John Bender Award (Most likely to skip class to smoke in the parking lot) – Sam N.
The Carol Seaver Award (Teacher’s pet) – A tie between Eli and Scott K.
The Flock Of Seagulls Award (For the person who just didn’t give a shit) – Akhil
The Farmer Ted Award (Most likely to have graduated high school a virgin) – JW


Thank You list

Written by JW

There were far more than 3 stars this week, so I decided to do a thank you list instead.

Special thanks to all of the following people:

Marko, Chair of the Prom Committee – We had all been talking about BTSH prom for 10 years or more, and Marko came along and MADE IT HAPPEN.
In addition to formulating the best prom committee ever, I can’t even begin to list all the things she did, or all the hard work she put in.
This event would have never happened (or been as awesome) without her.

Cheeky – For co-chairing the decorating committee with Sarah, for handling all the awards, and MCing the awards show. (And several other things I am forgetting right now. Cheeky REALLY stepped up.)

Sarah – For co-chairing the decorating committee with Cheeky, for handling all the awards, and for dealing with JW’s incessant messages about how she needed to help a certain person finalize her outfit.

Tim K. – Craig had planned to DJ but was unable to, due to an illness in the family. Tim stepped in at the last minute and absolutely KILLED it. Hit after 80s hit, he kept us moving all night long (all night).

photo credit: Tia

Liza – For helping to pick out the (awesome) music in advance, for arranging for Peaches to do the photobooth, and for bringing awesome 80s DVDs to play on the screens. (Does this count as Charlotte having finally seen The Goonies??)

Peaches – For putting together the pièce de résistance, the photobooth. (I feel like we should have one every week at BTSH.)

Alex F. – For securing the venue, doing the prom lottery, and managing to restrain himself from gambling on anything for an entire evening.

Tia – For running around collecting all the balloons in advance, showing up early to the venue to help decorate (when all of the rest of us were late), and for feeding Tim K. some CHOICE 80s requests to play.

Klion – For running the budget. Side note: I can’t even imagine the FOMO she must have.

A special shoutout to the milliennials: I know we’ve had our differences (haha), but I have to give credit where credit is due. You were on the prom committee, you helped decorate, you all showed up and danced the night away, you knew all (ok, most of) the songs, you helped make the night what it was and what it was supposed to be: 80s as fuck. (Sorry, Cheeks, but I refuse to type “af”.)  I was incredibly impressed.  Big ups to the next generation of BTSHers.

Last, but not least, the entire prom committee, the entire decorating committee (and everyone who helped decorate on the night of), and anyone else I may have forgotten.

Thanks again to all of you listed above, you the made the night what it was: The best BTSH party ever.

(More photos to come…)

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