Bob Mckenzie reports that the Dark Rainbows have officially inked free agent Mike Yetter to a team friendly max contract.
Yetter will be paid $3 Pale Ales with a $5 Narragansett due at signing and performance incentives that could go as high as 2 Slurpees per game.
The newest Rainbow could be heard yelling “Blakwolf, baby!” repeatedly at team officials upon signing according to sources.
When reached for comment team co-Captain Cat Boyd said, “He’s BEEN on the team!” Yetter has been widely criticised in recent weeks with some calling the journeyman Center a ‘man of many shirts’ but his production cannot be denied. “Well he scores, so that’s cool” says Boyd.
This is the most recent win for the surging Rainbows who are eyeing a deep run in the playoffs. “I mean, I’ll call him Blakwolf if we keep winning” said Boyd.
During the Dark Rainbows press conference introduction of Yetter he made some disparaging remarks about Gut Rot, a divisional ally. His comments, which we have chosen not to print, have caused a new rift between the two teams.
‘What’d he say about Gut Rot?!!? I’M TRIGGERED.’ – Morgen from Gut Rot
Since the video has surfaced on facebook the Rainbows’ clubhouse and Yetter’s camp have been scrambling to explain his lack of better judgement. Here are their statements.
Dark Rainbows’ Press Release Statement
The Rainbows are dismayed at the choice of words used by Mr. Yetter in his post signing press conference.
His thoughts are not shared by our organization and has expressed regret for his actions which we have accepted.
We apologize to Gut Rot and think they are highly intelligent, look great, and are very cool.
We will have no further comment on this subject.
Yetter’s Press Release Statement
It has come to my attention that, during a mandatory press conference, I referred to Gut Rot as ‘mean, stupid, and fat.’ Should anyone take offense to those words, they ought to know that they were fed to me, along with numerous Narragansetts, by people who thought it would be provocative. I sheepishly played along because I wanted these people to be my friends. I regret succumbing to peer pressure and have engaged the services of a professional to help me with this issue going forward. I will make no further comment on this matter. End statement.
We’re not buying it. Christmas would come early if these two teams meet in the playoffs. #btshmediastandswithgutrot