Posts by: "Sam Norris"

Drunk Machine
by Schumes & Dummy 

The members of team Drunk Machine recognize that they are all distractingly attractive, and do anticipate that you may wish to purchase them a beverage. Such gestures being a common means of demonstrating one’s admiration. To ensure a positive experience for all parties, we, the undersigned, have provided a handy list of our favorite libations. Cheers.

We are just better than you.

Hilary’s Boyfriend with the good hair – Guinness topped with lawn clippings
Hil-Larry – Aperol hold the Spritz
Dr. double K- Bud Light Lime with cranberry
Nicy “Balls Deep” – Anything you can drink while crying
JoJo – Canadian Club
Shotgun Charlotte – The salty tears of her enemies
Mikey “I Play”-  Pimms groin Cup
Jon C – Beer bottles. The bottles. To chew.
The Big Dicky – Re-hydrated ink from the Declaration of Independence
C Hughes – Rose with 3 ice cubes

J “better get card him twice” McQuade – Kaluha after 5pm
Matty R – 40oz, duct-taped to his left hand
B Hiker – Potato juice (NOT vodka)
Nico – Warm whiskey from a butt flask
Patty Lee – All umbrella drinks
Schumes – Hot maple syrup
[Continue Reading…]

The BTSH Media brings you the second 2018 installment of Know Your Neighbor, the longest ever to date, featuring Russell from the evil dojo, Cobra Kai!

“BigRuss” – Reason: I can do multiple push ups in a row. Used in a sentence: “BigRuss is awesome.”
“The Provider”- Reason: I provide for the people. Used in a sentence: “We want to thank The Provider for providing us with everything that was provided….”

Hometown: Northern Virginia. But people often say I’m from “the streets”

College: East Carolina, Go Pirates! Virginia Tech, Go Hokies!

Celebrity doppelgänger: Tom Brady. I often get told I look a lot like Tom Brady… that’s pretty much the only one I get through.
Pump up song: “Not Ready to Make Nice” by the Dixie Chicks… for you it’s about the Iraq war… for me it’s about Winning a BTSH championship. [Continue Reading…]

by Dan

Dearest Friends,

Once again, you have a fantastic opportunity to see history made right in your backyard! If you haven’t heard, Bob “The White Haired Wizard” Baffert’s horse Justify won the Preakness this past weekend – in other words – Belmont Stakes is a Triple Crown race (last winner American Pharoah in 2015). The third and final leg of the Triple Crown takes place on June 9th!!!

You can’t lose if you bet on every single horse!

While all those details might not be too relevant to you, they should be! Belmont Park caps attendance at ~100k and there’s a good possibility it will sell out for this historic event. Therefore, I highly recommend purchasing your tickets relatively soon, details can be found below: [Continue Reading…]

We interrupt this week’s previews to bring you–not just an ad–but an ad to how to live your life one weekend in August–and yes, this may very well change your life!  Hockey Beach OC will be held this year on August 25-26.


Dark Rainbows @ Tompkins Square Riots, Second Half
By Khalia Kazoo

. . . which was a ridiculously good play.

Oh, what? You don’t remember the first half of that sentence? Well, we barely remember the first half of the Riots vs Rainbows game, since it was so long ago & we were all seeking shelter from the storm at the bar. But we did hear it was a super close game, with the Rainbows up 1-0 when the game was called.

Prediction: Can the Rainbows keep their lead? Will refs remember to show up for the conclusion of this game? Will the rain hold off to allow them to finish this game? We think the answer to each of these questions is “yes.”

Rainbows beat the Riots 3-2 in a shootout. [Continue Reading…]

by Sam N

The BTSH Media is bringing you the first 2018 installment of Know Your Neighbor, featuring Jess from the Dark Rainbows.  “What is Know Your Neighbor,” the majority of the new Sky Fighters team asks.  Well, it’s where The Media highlights a player or duo in BTSH who are exceptionally fit for the BTSH spirit.  “What is The Media,” the new Sky Fighters team clamors on.  Well, dear Elly…  “Wait, wait, who is Elly?”  The Media responds, “oh dear lord Elly…

Jess from the Dark Rainbows

Hometown:  Fairfield, Connecticut

College:  Lafayette College. Fun fact: I played D1 field hockey there. [Continue Reading…]