Posts by: "J Dubs"

written by JW

3rd Star:  Liz B.

Boylan had an assist on the OT winner in the Lbs’ quarterfinal win over Fresh Kills, and scored the first 2 goals in their semifinal win over the Gremlins, including the game winner. Not bad for a mermaid.

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written by JW

Every year the BTSH Media works incredibly hard and writes a bunch of forgettable articles and previews (we literally forgot about several of them, until some brave soul went digging) that 7% of the league reads and 1.5% of the league enjoys. 

The time of year has come again for you, the BTSH voting public, to decide who you feel deserves the coveted Clavvy Award this year (https://www.btsh.org/bruise/announcing-the-byron-clavicle-blue-ribbon-endowment-for-superlative-quality-in-long-form-hockey-oriented-journalistic-endeavors/), as well as who wrote the best previews of the year. 

As always, the winner will get beer or yoo-hoo from the great Dr. Clavicle himself. 

You thought this was Greenwald too, didn’t you?
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written by The Money and The Banana Stand

So, this week’s previews are Arrested Development-themed. If you have (foolishly) never watched the show and as such get none of our references, well…that’s your own fault, now isn’t it? 

Editor’s note: I said this would be an extremely niche preview but someone didn’t want to hear me out.

Lbs, Inc. (GOB Bluth) vs.  Poutine Machine (Annyong Bluth)

The Lbs are like GOB in that they are shifty magicians who date females well above their pay grade. Poutine are like Annyong in that they are angry, and always seem to be out for revenge. 

Prediction: Lbs have only lost 1 game all season, but if anyone can beat GOB it’s Annyong. And, yes…..Poutine does it this Sunday. Poutine 3, Lbs 2. 

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written by Cat

Rich has reluctantly added me back on the media payroll, Isaac is gone, Alex and JW are my editors, so you’d think I couldn’t get away with my usual shit (ie. soft stars, soft jokes about the beef beat, rainbows propaganda,) but guess what? I only sing one song, suckers.

THIRD STAR

Shannon from the Anklebiters

I don’t like to compliment anyone on the Biters except for Probert and only when he gets us drink specials but I am a woman who supports women so go Shannon!

Cobra Kai and Gouging Anklebiters went like 6 or 7 rounds in an overtime shootout. Craig ultimately never let anything past him; and Shannon got the game-winning goal.

This is a real two-fer because Rich hates shootout goal stars, and he hates giving stars to girls for scoring.

No autographs, please.

SECOND STAR

Dan from the Dark Rainbows

Have you heard of Dan yet?

He is Canadian. Dan is short for a woman’s name. His girlfriend brings a dog that will allow us to put a wizard hat on it. Dan is very talented at hockey. And he scored both of our goals on Sunday, wrenching us out of a tough 7 game losing streak. Unconfirmed but these might have been his first career BTSH goals, I am fuzzy on the stats, but that is mindblowing if you have seen him take the ball from end to end as many times as I have. If you poach him, Jess will set fire to your home (allegedly).

FIRST STAR

Rain cleaners

To complete my soft stars, first star goes to the good samaritans who stayed and cleaned the courts in the downpour, rather than fleeing to Doc Holliday’s and ordering beers.

HONORABLE MENTIONS

BTSH media for getting its groove back with pizza previews + flow feature

Filthier for eking out a shutout with just 7 players – Ann played the whole game and scored the game-winning goal, and great playing by Kate (with a bad back no less!) and Jean.

Isaac is away this week and we all have no idea what the hell we’re doing. It’s ok, I think I got this…

Filthier blanked the Butchers 3-0.

#GoalieBecca played great again, but the Rainbows edged out Gut Rot 2-1. (I hadn’t seen Jessica that happy since she told me about the time she was front row for One Direction.)

Poutine took down the, umm, “wily” Demons.

In the game of the day, OT wasn’t enough to settle the 1-1 deadlock between Kai and the Biters. Craig stopped all shooters in the 6 or 7 round shootout, and Shannon scored the only shootout goal, giving the Biters the extra point.

Mega came back from a 1-0 deficit in the 2nd half to top the Riots, 3-1.

Lbs continued to roll as they notched another W, this time over Fuzz.

Grems/Karma and WTP/Sky Fighters both got rained out in the 2nd half.

The 6pm matchups between the Hookers/Math and Rehabs/Fresh Kills were also washed out.

We feel the same way that Sarah did about the late rainouts…