Posts by: "Isaac"

Breaking news!  The DNC came across a very well-read website and started asking: what is this league and why is their media so much better than CNN and MSNBC’s, being able to draw at least 100 article views per story?  By their own bylaws, the DNC had to disclose to each of the 2020 Democratic Presidential candidates of their inquiry into BTSH.org’s media strategy and viewership. And, within 7-8 minutes, the BTSH Media’s inboxes were swamped by every candidate’s team wrangling for endorsements.

By Sam N0rr!s

Bill de Blasio’s Rehabs v Gouging Anklebiters endorsed by Amy Klobuchar

1:00 pm EAST

“Hi, I’m Bill de Blasio, and nobody really likes me.  People always say, just drop out of the race and leave us all alone, like the team I endorsed, but look what I’ve done to NYC’s scene.  I’ve pissed off the police, act as a democrat, but use developers to build up areas of Brooklyn that are perfectly fine, so that we can continue making more parts of NYC unaffordable.  But you know who’s really killing the American Dream? Amy Klobuchar. She looks like one of those disgruntled PTA mothers saying that they can’t afford to keep sending her kids on the MTA to host bake sales for their public school teachers’ supplies because we keep raising the subway fares.  It’s Cuomo who’s at fault with all of this, not me! Not me! If I see that bitch on the courts, I’m going to ram my team’s hockey sticks down her throat so far, she’s going to wish she had Beto O’Rourke’s neck to stomach the blows. Then I’ll pee in her eyes like I do to the poor of this city.”

“I am Amy Klobuchar and a representative of the Biters, and I take offense at Bill’s words.  You may not know me, but I take pride in looking like a PTA mother, which is why I endorsed the Anklebiters.  They have so many strong mothers on their team that are going to rip Bill de Blasio’s band of boners through and through.  And that Probie guy. And that Andy guy. And that Phil guy, and, ohh… Derho guy… My little PTA buns tremble when I see that Derho guy… We’re probably of the same nationality because no one knows how to say either of our names.  He can call me ‘Klo’ and I’ll call him ‘ho’, and we’ll be doing the Minnesotan Twirl before… [inaudibly, jubilant murmurs]… Well, I lose track of what I was going to say because I am not really qualified to run either, but looking to get a seat somewhere in the White House or the social committee.”

Klobuchar starts off strong, going a few percentage points up between the polls, but the NYC Developers fight back, tie it up, and this race goes into a shootout!  Bill de Blasio and the Rehabs win because Craig sucks a fat one.

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By Jess and The Meatbox

Third Star

Nicole and Chadwick from Instant Karma – The Trivia Connection

A very much missed Nicole was just what Karma needed to get the W over the Rainbows when her and a hungover Chadwick connected for the game winner. Some chalk it up to friendship, others chalk it up to a deeply engrained trivia connection. Win off the court at bar trivia win on the court at hockey as I always say.

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HEY! Are you a player or friend with benefits in BTSH?

Do you like money and want more?

Do you want to do your friends a convenient service while drinking and still make money?

Then email Alexa (alexa at btsh.org) and volunteer to ref games. $20 per game, $30 for opening or closing games!

LBS got it on at Filthier’s expense.

Cobra Kai went up 2-0 before the Hookers decided to play hockey.

Gouging Anklebiters have been on a roll this season and continued their success against the Butchers.

Riots ran wild over Gut Rot. 

Trap games are for real as the Demons found out against Mega Touch.

Hicks and the Rehabs defeated Herr and Math and now he’s on the couch.

Fuzz found their groove against Fresh Kills.

Instant Karma ruined J-E-S-S!  Jess!  Jess!  Jess!’s birthday weekend by dangling a W in front of her Dark Rainbows and then snatching it away.

Poutine blanked the Sky Fighters thanks to Christina, aka league sweetheart, and Pags.

A depleted Gremlins team lost to a surging Pucks squad wearing those swanky brown unis. 

See you next week!

By Arya Stark & Snoop Dogg

Butchers (+140)
Gouging Anklebiters (-170)

Arya’s Pick: Sorry Cheeks (I mean Snoop), but your Butchers have been super inconsistent so far this season, and the Biters are better than I’ve ever seen them.  Look for Probie to put up at least two as the Biters take this one by 2 or 3.

Snoop Dogg’s Pick: Butchers are missing some key players this week and already lost once to the Biters, but “you’ve got to always go back in time if you want to move forward.” To ignite and excite this match up we have two couples going head-to-head – Creamy vs. Diana and Dana vs. Shuey – but you know the Dogg, I’m here for the luv. So I think the Butchers will be more prepared this time around, it’ll be tight but feel like Biters will top Butchers by two.

Consensus: I got more Mack than Craig and in the bed, believe me sweetie I got enough to feed the needy.

OC is only a few weeks away, which means we’re all about to see each other naked…again.
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