Posts by: "Isaac"

By Arya Stark

The first (and probably last) appearance of The Croalie.

The LBS dropped their first game of the season to the Fresh Kills. Sheena with the game winner early in the 2nd half.

The Gremlins downed the Sky Fighters although it was good to see Mo back.

The Demons may keep kosher but god clearly hates them.  They lost their 4th shootout of the season (incredible), this time to WTP.  Shootout winner scored by polite Canadian man and rumored Long Island homeowner Mike M.

The Rehabs gutted out a tight victory against Filthier with Sena coaching from the sidelines.

Poutine hung on for a 2-0 victory with Max & Longwell stealing the show. Sully snipe through traffic for the winner.

The Butchers butchered Fuzz 5-1, dropping the defending champs to 15th in the standings and thus demonstrating why getting a high seed doesn’t give you much of an advantage in this league.

Gut Rot and Longwell devastated survivor pools everywhere with a comeback win against the Rainbows.

Mega held on late to beat the Riots.

Cro declared he was going to be the Hookers’ goalie sub, gave up a goal on his first shot because he tried a cross-body glove move rather than simply lifting his blocker a couple inches, then subbed himself out like a coward. Luckily (in case you just started reading this recap right now), former Hookers goalie Kevin Longwell was in attendance and down to play his 4th game of the day. Hookers beat Math 4-3. Cro claims he got an assist; who knows. They are now tied for 1st in the standings.

Finally, in the game of the day, Cobra Kai and the Biters slugged it out, trading goals in a wild second half before the Biters took it in OT. Gutsy comeback win to keep them in the 3rd spot overall and win Scotty $10 off me in a hastily assembled pre-OT bet. Damn.

See ya next week.

As we near the halfway point of the season let’s take a look at where teams are standing and what they need moving forward into the summer stretch of the season.?

Fuzz at Butchers

By The Meatbox

Fuzz

Where are they? Currently in 5th in their division and 10th overall with a +2 goal differential.

What do they need? Advil. The championship hangover is real in Fuzz nation and they need to get it out of their system if they’re going to avoid relegation for the second time in three years. Getting Mike T going wouldn’t hurt either.

Butchers

Where are they? Currently in 5th in their division and 16th overall with a -3 goal differential.

What do they need? Consistency. In the span of three weeks this team has beaten the Rehabs and lost to the Riots. Will the real Butchers please stand up?

Prediction: Ever since Jeff left the Butchers for Fuzz, Fuzz has not lost this game. While nothing lasts forever, I expect this streak to continue given the Butchers will be without Cheeky who has recently discovered her scorer’s touch. Fuzz 4 Butchers 2.

This is one of the only times we saw Jeff that night.
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As we near the halfway point of the season let’s take a look at where teams are standing and what they need moving forward into the summer stretch of the season.

Fresh Kills at LBS, Inc.

Fresh Kills

Where are they?  Currently sitting at fourth in their division and ninth overall in the league with a questionable goal differential of +5 goals.

What do they need?  Besides Frank, more Tom and Nicole with a lot of what they did in two of their last three games. 

LBS

Where are they?  Currently sitting atop the league and their division with an unbeaten record and a solid goal differential of +12 goals.

What do they need?  Good question.  They are the most balanced team in the league, but if we had to nitpick we’d say consistent attendance heading into the summer stretch.

Prediction: This is hands down the Game of the Early Games and as unfathomable as it seems, Fresh Kills will finish the first half the season with four loses.  3-2 LBS.

LBS could definitely use these two goobers.
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By Jane of the Jungle

As we all know, the end of August marks the holy matrimony of Hockey and Beach. This realization, combined with the fact I recently attended a rowdy bachelorette party, has inspired me to write a hypothetical piece exploring the question “what if the BTSH teams were attendees of a bachelorette party weekend?” Enjoy!

Anklebiters – Naturally, ever so naturally, Anklebiter is the one who planned this whole shindig. If you think organizing a weekend full of activities for a gaggle of drunk and opinionated party-goers is difficult…. well you are CORRECT. Nevertheless Anklebiter persisted. She somehow managed to lock in a bangin’ Airbnb with a pool (in the hippest neighborhood, no less), secure multiple dinner reservations for a group of 20+ girls, and hand paint (I said, HAND PAINT!) a pin-the-penis-on-the-groom banner. How does she manage to do it all? Like, seriously, how?

Fuzz – Fuzz is the one who wants to know who wants to work out with her in the morning? Does anyone want to hit a pre-brunch spin class? Go for a run? Maybe drop-in to a box? No? That’s fine she’ll just get a WOD in by herself. Afterwards, she’s INSUFFERABLE at brunch telling people how she PR’d her DL 1RM!!! Omg! On vacation no less! It’s fine though because no one else at the table knows what a WOD or a DL 1RM PR even is. They’ve all tuned her out. Eventually when she realizes no one is listening to her, she stops talking about her workout and focuses on the plate of eggs and bacon in front of her, because #gainz.

Like Arnold, our girl Fuzz knows the importance of the Anabolic Window
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