Posts by: "Isaac"

Tompkins Square Riots at What the Puck – 12:30 pm, EAST
by Izzy

The Riots are not to be overlooked as they have impressive wins this season against the powerhouse Cobra Kai and surging Dark Rainbows.  Despite last week’s hiccup this is the time of year when News Hour Mac’s rebellious burgundy brutes crank it up a notch or four.  Plus, league underrated, but team appreciated, Kevin on defense has one of the most destructive inbound shots.

The Pucks can’t afford to be careless with Mega right on their heels.

We’re not sure which Pucks team is going to show up this Sunday.  And no, we don’t mean what line combinations they’ll come up with out of their 20+ players.  What we do mean is that the latest scuttlebutt coming out their clubhouse is that Susie and the gang are already looking forward to Hockey Beach next weekend.  (And who can blame them?)  With Mega Touch right on their heels for the Division 4 crown they better refocus and smell the salts for this divisional clash with the Riots.

Prediction: game goes to a shootout with Margot being the hero for the Riots, 3-2. [Continue Reading…]

by Cat

The Media has been getting some heat for resting on our laurels, jokes wise. “Why don’t you have any new material?!” they say. Rain fears! Is a hot dog a sandwich! ROTY snubs! Lol shootouts! The most original thing out of the Media in 2018 is filling out a Mad Libs book that Isaac picked up in the checkout line at the Duane Reade. Look, we can’t all be Big Russ and Old Brett (another feud I’m trying to make happen while working on the beef beat) coming up with #newcontent to entertain the masses!

Big TYSM to Greenwald for sending this picture of himself at the Hot Legs competition to illustrate my points

Still, I didn’t major in Creative Writing to not put it to good use – so enjoy these #hottakes I came up with for a blog about a beer league:

Third Star
Sara K from Denim Demons

In spite of the heat and the double-header, the Demons went into Sunday with only three girls: new-Media-sweetheart Tracy, the free-agent-slash-honorary-DD Elaina, and insane-person-who-never-tires Sara. While Tracy and Elaina rotated on forward for their games against both Instant Karma and LBS, Sara played the whole damn time without any shifts.

Meanwhile, my roommate-slash-attendant Paolo (you may have seen him wearing a fringed crop top on the sidelines holding a fan that said “THWORP” – he’s taking custom crop top orders for next year) served me homemade hibiscus iced tea on the sidelines while I complained it was much too hot to only have 5 girls on our bench.

Yes, the Demons did actually lose both their games, but if you wanted Stars for winners only you can get Rich to write them next time!!!!! Sara is a goddamn champ!!!  [Continue Reading…]

By Arya Stark

Karma gave up an early lead but topped the Demons 4-3 in OT.

Cobra Kai proved one preview writer to be genius as they did indeed win a tight 3-2 game over Filthier.  The win along with the late game Poutine loss clinches the division for Cobra Kai and keeps them only one point back of Fuzz with a game in hand.

The LBS beat the Demons 3-1 in a close game featuring enough physical play and stick-work to feature an appearance from angry Eli.  A regulation win over Filthier next week would clinch the top division for Poundtown.

The Rainbows beat Math in OT, giving them their first win streak since a three game streak on September 11th, 18th and 25th of 2016 which covered their last two games of that season and a playoff victory.

Karma won their second game of the day, upsetting heatstroke and the Butchers.  The win keeps them in the 10 spot and in line for a first round bye.

The Fresh Kills pulled away late and beat the Gremlins 5-3 on a slick short side rip from Nick.  No word on where Gabe and Ariel were though some people have floated their own theories.

The Hookers took care of business with a convincing 8-0 win over Cro’s favorite BTSH team, the Riots.  Alas, he scored none of them and tried to avoid touching balls whenever possible.

What The Puck poured it on in the second half, burying the Skyfighters 6-0.  Ball Hogg got the surprise start in net and picked up a shutout.

Mega kept pace with a surprise 3-0 win over a depleted Biters squad.  The win keeps them one point back of WTP in the Southeast Division race with each team having two games left and Mega bearing the slightly tougher schedule.

Alas, there was no fairy tale ending this year as Fuzz took down Gut Rot.  The win keeps them in the top slot although Cobra Kai has a game in hand.  Fuzz clinched their division a few weeks ago.

The Rehabs beat Poutine 4-2 in a tight late game battle.  Cherie buried a couple while Sully had one for Poutine.  The win moves the Rehabs all the way up to the #5 seed in my totally unofficial and unverified league standings, which I have added below.  This is not guaranteed to be accurate in any way.  Game in hand means they’ve played 15 games as opposed to the 16 that most teams have completed by now.  Poutine still has extra games over everyone as they’ve only played 14.

Unofficial Standings (follow at your own risk)
1 – Fuzz
2 – Cobra Kai (game in hand on Fuzz)
3 – LBS
4 – Filthier
5 – Rehabs
6 – Fresh Kills (game in hand)
7 – Poutine (two games in hand)
8 – Biters
9 – Gremlins (game in hand)
10 – Karma
11 – Hookers (game in hand)
12 – WTP
13 – Mega
14 – Butchers (game in hand)
15 – Math
16 – Sky Fighters (game in hand)
17 – Gut Rot
18 – Demons (game in hand)
19 – Rainbows (game in hand)
20 – Riots

Attention: the L train is not operational this weekend in Manhattan and parts of Brooklyn.  For those of you that rely on this train to get to the courts, please research alternative routes and budget additional travel time in order to arrive before your game. 

Gremlins at Fresh Kills
by Jess (apparently the resident haiku master) D

Gremlins
Sad Poutine beat them
Even more sad Erich left
Rod scored the lone goal
In last week’s decimation
New player Courtney
Could possibly give them life
Which is shocking cuz
Walker hates milennials
Plz score you guys thx

Fresh Kills
A truly strong team
Check out some of these players
Gabe switched to defense
Nicole can kill anyone,
arm wrestling champ
Sheena deadlifts more than Gabe
Canadians suck
Oh yeah back to street hockey
This team is scary

Prediction:
Wallowing Gremlins
Vs Unstoppable Fresh Kills
Fresh Kills win 4-1 [Continue Reading…]

Attention: the L train is not operational this weekend in Manhattan and parts of Brooklyn.  For those of you that rely on this train to get to the courts, please research alternative routes and budget additional travel time in order to arrive before your game. 

Denim Demons at LBS, Inc.
by Chairwoman Rachel and Cheekbones

The Demons may want a pound of flesh but they’ll be hard-pressed to take down the 2018 suped up version of the Lbs. Lbs are a good team that occasionally flirts with their dirty side but strive to listen to the good angel on their shoulder(or good show tunes in some cases). That angel’s name is Ali. Let this be written…maybe the first time anyone has called Ali an angel. The girls wears rings with skulls. Will the Demons drag them down into a more physical game? Potentially. Will Ali threaten people with her skull rings? Probably. Let’s keep the ice packs nearby, and maybe a leather strap to bite on. I can set a leg in a pinch (I’ve seen it done on the Grey’s Anatomy when their plane crashes in the woods).

Scotty keeps to himself but if you can get him to open up he’ll tell you a little about how he feels, particularly that he’s psyched to return to, and survive, prom this year.

Demons have only caught 3 W’s so far this season. We are predicting the 4th isn’t going to happen this Sunday.

Aside: I know we are only supposed to talk about BTSH in this, but Roberts demonstrated some solid hand shaking sportsmanship on Tuesday night, and also, happy this didn’t happen.

L Train Shutdown Fears

[Continue Reading…]