Posts by: "Ball Hogg"

The what would have been final week of the BTSH season saw 2 shootouts, 1 OT, and a lot more scoring than the week before. With the season coming to a close more teams are starting to look the standings with a Round of 16, or if you’re Fresh Kills, Play-in Round, matchup in mind.

On to the box scores…

Demons 2 @ Riots 0

Demons – Jake R (4), Adam G (1)

Goalie Shutout Win – Casca (3-2, 1 Shutout, 1.54 GAA)

Goalie Loss – Dave GdR (3-10)

Game Notes: This week Casca decided to get his team’s win out of the way before subbing in 3 losses for other teams. What a sportsman!

Math 1 @ GANK 4

Math – Eli (3)

Goalie Loss – David L (5-7, 2.81 GAA)

Anklebiters – Jared x 3 (11), Jimmy (3)

Goalie Win – Craig LaC (13-1, 5 Shutouts, 1.12 GAA)

Game Notes: I’m not sure who these ringers Anklebiters have that scored this past Sunday, but I can confirm they have played more than 5 games, which is something I can’t say about everyone on the Pounds playoff roster that was sent in the other day.

Rut Rot 1 @ DaPucks 3

Gut Rot – Ramon (2)

Goalie Loss – David L via Math

WTP?! – Ball Hogg x2 (12), Emily (1)

Goalie Win – Goalie Ed (9-5, 1 Shutout, 1.89 GAA)

Pounds 4 @ Fresh Kills 1

Pounds – Jason B (4), Scotty K x2 (7), Roberts (10)

Goalie Win – Sizzler (11-1, 1 Shutout, 1.50 GAA)

FK – Meg (2)

Goalie Loss – Casca via Demons

Sky Fighters 6 @ Gremlins 2

Sky – Greg (2), Moez (4), Brett x2 (2), Wes x2 (4)

Goalie Win – OG James (4-4, 1 Shutout, 2.22 GAA)

Gremlins – Ryan M (2), Iannis (4)

Goalie Loss – Jamie B (7-7, 4 Shutouts, 2.03 GAA)

Game Notes: Friendly reminder from Greg that Sky Fighters belong in the third division (on occasion).

‘Sky Fighters are No. 1!’

Karma 4 @ Poutine 3 F/SO

Karma – Derek Zed (15), Abby (2), Matt S (5)

Goalie Shootout Win – Steve F (5-5, 1 Shutout, 2.72 GAA)

Shootout Winner – Florian

Poutine – James McQ x2 (7), Mike Marr (5)

Goalie Shootout Loss – Casca via Demons

Filthier 2 @ Rehabs 5

Filthier – Tom W (5), Ann M (3)

Goalie Loss – Jamie B via Gremlins

Rehabs – Mo x2 (9), Hicksy x2 (9), Ramy (3)

Goalie Win – Eric R (5-4, 2 Shutouts, 1.20 GAA)

Hookers 3 @ Fuzz 4 F/OT

Hookers – Tiff (1), Clark (6), Lee (1)

Goalie OT Loss – Dustin (8-3, 2 Shutouts, 1.68 GAA)

Fuzz – Eiton (3), Noelle (1), Girl Ryann (2)

Shootout Winner – Gil’s Son’s Dad

Goalie Win – Coach (1-0 and out of retirement?)

Game Notes: We unfortunately have to go back to calling Gil, Gil’s Son’s Dad, as Walsh has taken over the title of Gilf after taking care of Glanzer’s 20 year old ringers at a recent MEN’S LEAGUE tournament.

Cobra Kai 2 @ Butchers 3 F/OT

CK – Luke W (1), Olivier B (2)

Goalie OT Loss – Casca via Demons

Butchers – Brendan C (5), Dana K (2), Jake T (8)

Goalie OT Win – Eric R via Rehabs

Dark Rainbows 0 @ Mega Touch 3

Goalie Loss – Greenwald (4-12)

Mega Touch – Eric D (4), Hanson (2), Alok (2)

Goalie Shutout Win – Mike T (6-4, 2 Shutouts, 1.96 GAA)

We had 11 games to report in total after coming back from the HockeyBeach and Labour Day hangover/break from BTSH!

Thank you to the #GoalieUnion for all the shutouts and making this update fairly swift for us! On to the box scores…

What the Puck 6 @ Sky Fighters 1

WTP – Paul P (3), Justin M (2), McCauley (2), Hoggystyle x2 (10), Dave Mac (2)

Goalie Win – Goalie Ed

Sky – Dana L (4)

Goalie Loss – OG James (3-4, 2.25 GAA)

Game Notes: WTP finishes off Sky Fighters right where they left them 3 weeks ago in the soggy rain; in their own end chasing the ball from their opponents.

Poutine 0 @ Pounds 3

Goalie Loss – RJ (6-5, 4 Shutouts, 1.25 GAA)

Pounds – Roberts (9), Davis A (2), Tori (1)

Goalie Shutout Win – Sizzler (10-1, 1.55 GAA)

What the Puck 2 @ Fresh Kills 0

WTP – Capalbo “69” (2), McCauley (3)

Goalie Shutout Win – Goalie Ed (8-5, 1 Shutout, 1.95 GAA)

Goalie Loss – Zak Casca via Demons

Game Notes: After not allowing any goals in the made up portion of their Sky Fighters matchup played earlier in the day, Ed kept his goose egg on the day by shutting out Fresh Kills (his first on the season).

Week 17 What the Poll: Nope, it’s just their jersey numbers again.

Dank Bows 3 @ Evil Dojo 2

Rainbows – Dan C (4), Ryan M (2), Jess(ica) D (2)

Goalie Win – Greenwald (4-11)

Cobra Kai – Pete G (4), Russ “Yetter Joke Provider” Hamilton (4)

Goalie OT Loss – Casca via Demons via Veto’d subs

Sky Fighters 1 @ Rehabs 4

Sky – Matt (3)

Goalie Loss – Sizzler via Casca via CK vs Rainbows

Rehabs – Ramy (2), Mo (7), Josh (2), Cherie (7)

Goalie Win – Peter Parker via FA

Math 2 @ Demons 4

Math – Jackpole McG (9), Bradley S (2)

Goalie Loss – David L (5-6, 2.70 GAA)

Demons – Neil Zed (14), Zach Fine x2 (7), Miles S (8)

Goalie Win – Casca (2-2, 1.90 GAA)

Game Notes: Casca kept playing until he finally won a game. And he did after 3+ hours straight and took the rest of the day off to cool off at a local watering hole serving Demons Kool Aid. The real question is whether or not Neil is really drinking it?

Advanced Analytics: Can Neil, Zach, and Miles start heating up again? After their strong start, they were looking like Teets McGee, Jeff, and Miles (and we didn’t even mention Gil’s son’s dad!) for fuzz last year who all eclipsed the double digits mark in goals early last year. This might be the game that gets them going with 3 more weeks of BTSH later this month.

Gremlins 0 @ Filthier 5

Goalie Loss – Jamie B (7-6, 4 Shutouts, 1.73 GAA)

Filthier – Jaime D x2 (7), Ryan McL (3), Danielle (3), OP James (10)

Goalie Shutout Win – Tim K (11-3, 4 Shutouts, 1.20 GAA)

Game Notes: 5. Not a minus 5 for Walker, but that’s the number of emails he sent to Danielle and Jamie talking about how bad he played instead of talking about how awesome the comedy show was on Monday night.

Mega 0 @ Butchers 2

Goalie Loss – Eric D (1-4)

Butchers – Brendan C (4), Creamy (2)

Goalie Shutout Win – Tim Brk (3-7, 1 Shutout, 2.55 GAA)

Riots 0 @ Hookers 6

Goalie Loss – Dave GdR (3-9)

Hookers – Eleni T x3 (6), Sarah N x3 (5)

Goalie Shutout Win – Hoggy via WTP?!

Game Notes: “Who even let’s Hogg sub?” – JW. Someone nice enough to let both WTP goalies get shutouts on the same day John, that’s who.

Advanced Analytics: JW would also like to know if this is the first time two girls have had hat tricks in the same BTSH game. Well done ladies!

Fuzz 3 @ Karma 2

Fuzz – Eiton x2 (2), GilF (8)

Goalie Win – Tim Bwn (8-6, 3 Shutouts, 2.25 GAA)

Karma – Abby (1), Derek Zed (14)

Goalie Loss – Steve F (4-5, 2.72 GAA)

GANK 3 @ Rotters 1

Anklebiters – Chris B (5), Jared P (8), Shannon S (1)

Goalie Win – Craig LaC (12-1, 5 Shutouts, 1.13 GAA)

Gut Rot – Heather (1)

Goalie Loss – Charlie O’D via FA

After a brief rain delay the last 4 games will be completed at a later date…scores for those will be updated when those games are completed…without further adieu on to the pre OC post OC box scores…

Filthier 3 @ Butchers 0

Filthier – Annimal (2), Jean (1), Thomas W (4)

Goalie Shutout Win – Tim “I’ll make my presence felt with fb comments” K (10-3, GAA 1.29, 3 Shutouts)

Goalie Loss – Peter B via FA

NOT NOW TIM!!! This is not about you!

Gut Rot 1 @ Dank Bows 2

Rut Rot – OG Scotty K (1)

Goalie Loss – Sam S (0-7)

Rainbows – Daniele “Boy name” C x2 (3)

Game Notes: Can the totem italian of the league (do we have one?!) consult with Jess and Cat and whoever else from Rainbows write the 3 stars and let them know Daniele is not Danielle and is a boy’s name? Actually, this site just leads from Daniele to Daniel, which is of Hebrew origin…okay pretty much anyone from the NJ/NY ball hockey circles should be able to consult on this now.

Another dub for the rain dubs!

Evil Shortis Farm System Dojo 1 @ Gouging Seamen 2 F/SO

Cobra Kai – Alan H (3)

Goalie LOLSOL – Ryan M (0-6, GAA 2.26)

Anklebiters – Bob Probert (12)

Goalie Shootout Win – Craig LaC (11-1, GAA 1.14)

Shootout Winner – Shannon

Game Notes: Cobra Kai are out here thinking that referees hate them and like disallowing goals, but that’s totally not true, both referees called an equivalent amount of goals back in this game…1 by each ref for CK….

About to be Drunk Machine 4 @ Twin Deking Demons 2

Machine – Mike Pags (6), Christian H (4), Jon C not #69 x2 (4)

Goalie Win – RJ F (6-4, GAA 1.08)

Demons – Zach “Fine” x2 (5)

Goalie Loss – Zach L (6-5, GAA 2.11)

Mega Touch 3 @ Basic Beach Riotters 1

Mega – Inspector Jones x2 (4), Eric D (3)

Goalie Win – Mike T (5-4, GAA 2.17)

Riots – Margot S (3)

Goalie Loss – Peter B via FA

We didn’t have a photo of Matt Jones…because he’s a very secret ringer that has never played in any big tournaments or BTSH before.

Fuzz 2 @ Pound Sterlings 4

Fuzz!!! – Teets McGee (9), GilF (7)

Goalie Loss – Tim Bwn (7-6, GAA 2.27)

Pounds – Big Mac (2), ScottyK x2 (5), The Chubby German Flower via FA,

Goalie Win – Sizzler (9-1, GAA 1.70)

Editor’s Note: After seeing Fuzz’s divisional records in their lone 2 season in the top flight of BTSH, now I understand why Rich thinks a 1-1 record against a team is worthy of a (participation) trophy….or a make-believe (fairy tale) cup.

Rich and Tim blowing another game for Fuzz.

Gremlins @ Karma PPD

Goalie of Record – Jamie

IK – Derek Zed

Goalie of Record – Steve F

What the Puck @ Sky Fighters PPD

DaPucks – Paully P, Justin the Divisional Name Sake, McCauley, Ball Hogg

Goalie of Record – Goalie Ed

Sky – Dana

Goalie of Record – OG James

Fresh Kills @ Habitants PPD

Game not started

Hookers @ Math PPD

Game not started

At the 11th hour (literally, or 23rd on Jo-Ann’s 24 hour clock…whatever the heck that is), here are the Week 15 box scores. Hope everyone enjoyed their pizza (preview) Fridays! Very nostalgic. Were you a 1 cheese slice or 2 pepperoni slice kid? I think the best slices we ever got were from Mr Mozzarella in grade 6. What Pizza Friday slice do you remember the most?

What do you call a cheesy high stick? American.

Habs 0 @ GANK 1

Goalie Loss – Eric R (4-4, GAA 1.10)

Biters – Andy M (1)

Goalie Shutout Win – Craig “used shoes salesman” LaC (10-1, 5 Shutouts, GAA 1.16)

Game Notes: HockeyBeach 2018 poaching comes full circle nearly 1 year to the date as Andy pots the difference between his new and former teammates.

Karma 4 @ Mega 0

Karma – Liz T (2), Sara L via FA, Derek Zed (12), SCory Cory (5)

Goalie Shutout Win – Steve F (4-4, 1 Shutout, GAA 2.68)

Goalie Loss – The Tuck Man (4-4, GAA 2.32)

Fuzz 4 @ Math 3

Fuzz – Miles (6), Gil (6), Jeff (7), Teets McGee (8)

Goalie Win – Tim Bwn (7-5, GAA 2.13)

Math – Jack McG x2 (8), Bradley S (1)

Goalie Loss – David L (5-5, GAA 2.57)

Riots 1 @ Poutine 2

Riots – Jake T (2)

Goalie Loss – Dave GdR (3-8)

Poutine – James McQ (5), Hornswoggle (2)

Goalie Win – Chris S via FA

FK 4 @ Hookers 1

FK – Andrew (2), Gabe x2 (7), Ariel (4)

Goalie Win – Barch (4-4, GAA 1.98)

Hookers – Sara L via FA

Goalie Loss – Dustin O (8-2, GAA 1.57)

Demons 2 @ Fighters 1

Demons – Bar Down Brad (3), Neil (13)

Goalie Win – Zach L (6-4, GAA 1.92)

Sky – Dana L (3)

Goalie Loss – OG James (3-3, GAA 1.64)

Rut Rot 0 @ Gremlins 3

Goalie Loss – Goalie Becca (0-2, GAA 2.50)

Gremlins – Iannis x2 (3), Allison B (1)

Goalie Shutout Win – Jamie B (7-5, 4 shutouts, GAA 1.46)

Game Notes: Becca’s goalie gear was off in 2.22 seconds after the final whistle. That’s faster than most goons lose their gloves for a fence pushing tilly.

Advncd Anlytcs: Whatever shutout, GA, and GAA is published for Jamie, there is a 100% chance that Walker will complain about it. He’s only even (a plus and a minus) on corrections mailed in by his non-millenial carrier pigeon to the commissionherr’s office thus far in 2019.

Pounds 2 @ Butchers 1

Los Blancos – Scotty K (3), Roberts (8)

Goalie Win – Zak C via Demons

Butchers – Jake T (7)

Goalie Loss – Tim Brk (2-7, GAA 2.83)

Game Notes: Butchers have another strong defensive effort but lose late to a heart-breaking goal by a team leading 8th goal from Roberts.

DaPucks 3 @ White Rainbows 2 F/SO

WTP – McCauley via weekly Pizza Preview Ringers (1), Annie via rostered ringers (3)

Goalie Shootout Win – Ed P via rostered Thints poachee ringers (6-5, GAA 2.21)

Dark Bows – Yetter totally not a ringer (7), Dan C totally not a ringer (1)

Goalie Shootout Loss – Greenwald #HotLegs2018Ringer (2-11)

Shootout Winner – Michaliga shootout winner ringer (with help from Patty Kane ringer and Kuzy ringer)

Game Notes: So many ringers! And we didn’t even mention Nate No Show Lerner yet.

Advncd Anlytcs: After two quick goals by the Rainbows Ringers early, WTP’s 2 scorers in regulation were the only 2 to whiff in the skills comp for the bonus point.

Filthier 2 @ CK 1 F/SO

Filthier – Sunny (6)

Goalie Shootout Win – Tim K (9-3, GAA 1.39)

Cobra Kai – Liam (3)

Goalie Shootout Loss – Ryan M (0-5, GAA 2.55)

In honour of none of us playing in that darn cool hockey OC tournament this weekend, a “Ned Flanders” quote to describe these belated box scores…

“A plain slice of bread with a glass of water for dipping on the side.” That gosh darn prediddlyictable.

They were rude, obnoxious, drunken and definitely disorderly. Everywhere you walked you would hear, “PULLLLLOUTTTTSSSS!!!!” Who woulda thought someone as classy as Anika could gather a group of such vulgar, unrefined, primitive, drunken hockey players? But despite not winning a game, they all channeled their inner-Ellery and outfunned us all. While the rest of us were driving home to New York, they were still partying in OC. PULLLLOUTTTTTSSS!!!!!

One week ’til (our) HockeyBeach! On to the box scores…

Filthier 1 @ Pounds 2

Filthier – OP James (9)

Goalie Loss – Tim K

Pounds – Roberts x2 (7)

Goalie Win – Mike Sizzler

When you find a world where Roberts is the leading scorer for Los Blancos

Evil Dojo 2 @ Evil Turfed Park Hookers 3

Cobra Kai – Russ Flow Provider Hammyman (3), Rachel L (2)

Goalie Loss – Ryan M

Hookers – Danilo (2), Cro (3), CJ (6)

Goalie Win – Dustin O

Pig Knifes 0 @ Biters 5

Goalie Loss – Tim Brk

Biters – Wurky McParty (2), Bob Probert x2 (11), Jason Bourne (4), Phil the Thrill (1)

Goalie Win – Craig “used shoe salesman” LaC

Game Notes: A box score where all the nicknames make sense? Is it possible?

Rotters 2 @ Rioters 8

Gut Rot – Becca (1), Akhil (4)

Goalie Win – Sam S

Riots – Dave F x3 (6), Kevin Zed (2), Dave Not the Goalie L (2), Mia via Sky Fighters, Katie S (also poached via Sky Fighters? :O) x2 (4)

Goalie Loss – Dave GdR

Game Notes: The Becca Mehta sibling rivalry is not enough to propel Gut Rot to victory (yet again).

Advncd Anlytcs: Also, why does Akhil have (THREE!!!) more goals than you Becca?!

Dendems 2 @ Touches 4

Demons – Rubens (2), Reznick (3)

Goalie Loss – Zach L

Mega – Julie (3), Yuriy (1), Jeff B x2 (4)

Goalie Win – Eric D

Game Notes: Eric tender helps get Mega back in the win column with a show stopping performance leaving a high scoring Demons team with only 2 goals on the day.

Habs 4 @ Maths 0

Rehabs – Michelle U x2 (3), Ben M x2 (2)

Goalie Shutout Win – Eric R

Goalie Loss – Max of Moscow

FK 2 @ FZ 5

Fresh Kills – Tom R (4), Meg F (1)

Goalie Pile – Barch

Fuzz – Miles x3 (7), Gil (5), Jeff (6)

Goalie Commish – Tim Bwn

Karma 5 @ Dark Powder ‘Bows 3

Karma – Derek Zed (11), Scory Cory (4), Shaina (1), Big Ben Clavicle (2)

Goalie Win – Max of Moscow

Rainbows – Bryan L x2 (8), Yetter (6)  

Goalie Loss – David G #MyHotLegs2018 #MyFSTOW15

Sky 0 @ Poutine 5

Goalie Loss – DeLacy via Poutine Anglophone waivers

Poutine – James McQ (4), Christina L (2), Mike Pags x2 (5), Hornswoggle (1)

Goalie Shutout Win – RJ F

Grems 1 @ Pucks 3

Gremlins – Iannis (1)

Goalie Loss – Jamie B

WTP?! – Annie A (2), The Dude (4), The Ball Hogg (8)

Goalie Win – Goalie Ed P

Game Notes: Annie’s goals in back to back games propel pucks to another 2 points. The man they call mccauley quietly had 3 (primary) apples.

Advncd Anlytcs: Walker -3. MINUS THREE. “Worst game ever” Too [much] (time put into finding) subs”.

No one likes our poo emoji shirt coloured win streak and we don’t care!