Posts by: "Ball Hogg"

To round out a delayed 2019 season, we had the PBR quarterfinals featuring Sebastien’s favourite 7 (and not 8) teams, the semi finals, and finals all on Sunday, alongside some Schlitz cup games that were almost as eventful as the PBR games.

Schlitz Cup Play in Round

Gut Rot 0 @ WTP 4

Goalie Loss – Heather A

WTP – SteveT, Sam McI, Eric, Noah

Goalie Half Shutout Win – Hoggystyle

Game Notes: Cro and Hogg each had an assist in this game, as ref and goalie (wait what?), and Heather played goalie while Ramirez was showing up “on time” as he usually does.

Mega Touch defeated Riots

Dark Rainbows defeated Sky Fighters

Schlitz Cup Semi Finals

Dark Rainbows 2 @ Mega Touch 0

Goalie Shutout Win – Toriello

Schlitz Cup Finals

Dark Rainbows 0 @ WTP 1

Goalie Loss – Toriello

WTP – Hanif

Goalie Other Half Shutout Win – Hoggystyle

Game Notes: It’s not every day in BTSH that you can get outplayed by Gut Rot and Dark Rainbows and get a trophy for it. Congrats WTP, that’s why you’re the Schlitz cup champs!

“If only WTP had a professional photographer on the team who could take a better shot of the flashy new engraving(s) on Lady Schlitz.”

PBR Cup Quarterfinals

Fuzz 4 @ Rehabs 2

Fuzz – Mike T x2, Boy Ryan x2

Goalie Win – Tim Bwn

Rehabs – Hicks, Sena

Goalie Loss – Ramirez

Fresh Kills 1 @ Pounds 2 F/OT

Gremlins 4 @ Biters 3

Gremlins – Erich x3 (6), Busch (1)

Goalie Win – Jamie B

Biters – Caroline, Andy, Jimmy

Goalie Loss – Craiggers

Game Notes: After another big upset, and convincingly so, Gremlins make the PBR Cup Semi Finals after shutting down the #2 seed Anklebiters.

Cobra Kai defeated Karma and it was ugly early and often

Game Notes: What game was supposed to have the stop he’s already dead Simpson’s meme?!

PBR Cup Semi Finals

Gremlins 0 @ Pounds 5

Goalie Loss – Jamie (2-1)

Pounds – Boylin x2, Florian, Avery, Karsten

Goalie Shutout Win – Mike Sizzler

Liz, your pads are on backwards.

Fuzz 2 @ Cobra Kai 1 F/OT

Fuzz – Girl Ryann x2

Goalie OT Win – Tim Bwn

Cobra Kai – Gil Ween

Goalie OT Loss – Campbell

PBR Cup Finals

Fuzz 2 @ Pounds 1 F/SO

Fuzz – Miles

Goalie SO Win – Tim Bwn

Pounds – Jason

Goalie SO Loss – Mike Sizzler

Shootout Best of 5 Rounds

Fuzz / / / Pounds

Gil – X / / / Avery – Goal

Mike T – Goal / / / Luke – Goal

Ryann – X / / / Jesse – X

Jeff – Goal / / / Kesley – X

Andrea – Goal / / / Frey – X

Fuzz Wins Shootout 3-2, Andrew with the Shootout Winner. Make the Final! Fuzz 2, Pounds 1.

Game Notes: Both teams probably felt that they had a goal taken back in this one, as a penalty negated an early goal by Fuzz and then a ball that looked to be entering the goal was never conclusively in the net…both goalies went through two scoreless periods of overtime without giving a goal. After 2 extra sessions, there was only sunlight for an extended shootout to decide the championship, with Fuzz making a late comeback in rounds 4 and 5 to win the PBR cup.

Jeff makes the same face for every championship. That way, you can’t tell which ones he is more excited for.

After a handful of upsets, shootouts, and empty netters to ice (should it be “pave” since it’s black top?) a few close games, the Elite 8 matchups are now set.

On to the box scores from the Round of 16…

Cobra Kai 2 @ Demons 1 F/SO

CK – Dani (1)

Goalie Shootout Win – Max M via FA

Shootout Winner – Liam M

Demons – Brian M (1)

Goalie Shootout Loss – Casca (0-1)

Game Notes: I’d place a confidence score of 15 that Casca helps Cobra Kai win another game next week (as their goalie this time).

Fuzz 4 @ Filthier 1

Fuzz – Teets McGee (1), Miles (1), Jeff x2 (2)

Goalie Win – Tim Bwn (1-0)

Filthier – Sunny (1)

Goalie Loss – Tim K (0-1)

Game Notes: The first of two Fuzz wins on the day!

Fresh Kills 4 @ Hookers 3 F/SO

FK – Sheena (1), Meg (1), Eugene (1)

Goalie Shootout Win – Barch (2-0, 2.00 GAA)

Shootout Winner – Gabe

Hookers – Pigozzi (1), Phil O’d (1), Wolff (1)

Goalie Shootout Loss – Dustin O (0-1)

Game Notes: After an amazing season, Hookers fall victim to a hot start by Fresh Kills but managed to white claw their way back into things forcing OT and a Shootout.

Advanced Analytics: All 6 goals (and 7 including the shootout) went in the same net.

Mega 0 @ Rehabs 2

Goalie Loss – Eric D (0-1, 1.00 GAA)

Rehabs – Cherie (1), Hicks (EN, 1)

Goalie Shutout Win – Eric R (1-0)

Game Notes: Mega puts up a great fight but falls to a great individual effort from Cherie on the game winner.

Poutine 1 @ Karma 3

Poutine – Russo (1)

Goalie Loss – RJ (0-1, 2.00 GAA)

Karma – Sara Sleh (1), Derek Zed (1), Creed (EN, 1)

Goalie Win – Steve F (1-0)

Game Notes: Bill got the goalie jump this time.

Sky Fighters 1 @ Anklebiters 7

Sky – Emily (1)

Goalie Loss – Stein (1-1, 1 Shutout)

Anklebiters – Sarah M (1), Shannon (1), Jason Bourne (1), Jared x3 (3), Chris B (1)

Goalie Win – Craig LaC

Pounds 3 @ Rainbows 0

Pounds – Karsten (1), Scotty K (1), Florian (1)

Goalie Shutout Win – Jeff G via Fake Zog

Goalie Loss – David G (1-1)

Gremlins 4 @ WTP 0

Gremlins – Erich x3 (3), Marcella (1)

Goalie Shutout Win – Jamie B (1-0)

Goalie Loss – Goalie Ed (0-1)

Game Notes: After their loss in week 2, Fuzz finds a way to vanquish WTP from the PBR playoffs, re-routing them on a journey for the Schlitz.

On to the box scores…

Riots 1 @ Fresh Kills 5

Riots – David F (1)

Goalie Loss – Dave GdR (0-1)

Fresh Kills – Tom R x3 (3), Nate (1), Nicole H (1)

Goalie Win – Barch Pile (1-0)

Game Notes: Riots are now looking ahead to a Schlitz cup run that will top last year’s 3rd place finish in the lower conference playoff pool.

Advanced Analytics: After forgetting how to inbound the ball legally in his Week 12 makeup game, Tom remembered how to score goals as well (it’s amazing what making 5 games will do for a guy) and scored early and often in this one.

Last year Gabe was out of town and WTP really should have beat FK in the Round of 16.
One year later, and this is the only hope for the Hookers…?

Rut Rot 0 @ Mega Touch 5

Goalie Loss – Peter Parker via FA

Mega – Alex EM (1), Nate L (1), Julie x2 (2), Nadya (1)

Goalie Shutout Win – Mike T (1-0, 1 Shutout)

Game Notes: Tuckman notches the first shutout of the BTSH playoffs, helping Mega avenge the recent OT loss against their Michaliga Katz divisional foe.

Trust in the waffleboard.

Dank Bows 2 @ Butchers 1 F/OT

Rainbows – Dan C x2 (2)

Goalie OT Win – Greenwald (1-0)

Butchers – Pete d’A (1)

Goalie OT Loss – Tim Brk (0-1)

Game Notes: Like their division mates, Math, the real losers in the play-in round are the division 2 teams who lost that are ineligible to keep playing some “meaningful” Schlitz cup street hockey for the rest of the month. Enjoy golf season.

Without Yetter again next week…who could possibly step up (at centre/center?) and fill the void for Rainbows. No one is coming to mind…

Math 0 @ Sky Fighters 3

Goalie Loss – David L (0-1)

Sky Fighers – Dana L (1), Moez (1), Brett (1)

Goalie Shutout Win – OG James (1-0, 1 Shutout)

Game Notes: Sky Fighters brass are hopeful that a playoff entry into the Round of 16 means some of their new talent have bought into the team’s future. On the other hand, maybe Tadpole Jack is now also poachable?

Forget golf…more free time for…whatever this is.

Karma 6 @ Gremlins 8 (Scrimmage)

Game Notes: I was told Walker did not show up. #PlayingTimeConcerns

He’ll steal plenty of FA scrimmage time, however.

On to the real playoffs…!

The Heat Fears makeups from Week 12 were played this past Sunday. Some streaks ended and new streaks began, but none of that matters anymore, as next Sunday it’s win or go home for the month of October as the black top high school playoffs get under way.

In the meantime, on to the box scores…

Fresh Kills 0 @ Rehabs 2

Rehabs – Bryan’s Fruit Snacks (2), Monique (10)

Goalie Shutout Win – Matt T via FA

Goalie Loss – Barch Pile

Welch’s game winner meant Fresh Kills would have to show up for the Play-In round.

Gremlins 2 @ Karma 1 F/OT

Gremlins – Erich (10), Carcella Molson (4)

Goalie OT Win – Charlie O’D via FA

Goalie OT Loss – Steve F

Game Notes: Gremlins came back to tie it on the strength of the not often known lack of 6 foot requirement for a goalie ball restart. Following the rules ain’t shenanigans.

Filthier 3 @ Fresh Kills 2 F/OT

Filthier – Thomas W x2 (8), OP James (13)

Goalie OT Win – Tim K (13-3, 4 Shutouts, 1.29 GAA)

Fresh Kills – Nate (8), Gabe (8)

Goalie OT Loss – Barch Pile (4-7, 1 Shutout, 1.96 GAA)

Filthier finished the season on an 8-2 run. Just Gorgeous.

Poutine 1 @ Gremlins 3

Poutine – Brian S (3)

Goalie Loss – RJ F (7-6, 4 Shutouts, 1.44 GAA)

Gremlins – Cody (3), Courtney (2), Erich (11)

Goalie Win – Charlie O’D via FA

WTP?! 2 @ Karma 3 F/OT

DaPucks – @ballhogg x2 (14)

Goalie OT Loss – Ed P (10-6, 2 Shutouts, 1.83 GAA)

Karma – Derek Zed x2 (17), Scory Cory

Goalie OT Win – Steve F (7-6, 1 Shutout, 2.43 GAA)

Game Notes: After giving up another late one goal lead in the final minutes of the game, Karma put together a quick shift at the start of overtime to grab a third point on the day.

Editor’s Note: We don’t have a photo of Erich’s goal so I’ll have to post the tying goal from this game instead.

“When we needed a goal, Corey Winters would always be there to get us one.” – some player on WTP who hasn’t played long enough to be a veteran by JW’s standards, but we’ll call them one for the sake of this post.
“Who the heck is Corey Winters?” – some younger/newer WTP player (aka ringer) Hogg rostered long ago
“Some guy in some other (hockey autistic) guy’s BT*HS* HOF. We score our own goals now.” – some WTP sicko
Derek and Scory
Derek might have gotten to 17 goals on Sunday, but the real first star performance was from Bar Down Brad, giving back a goal incorrectly credited to him from August to Neil, whose 18th goal from a week ago kept him in the pole position for league scoring. Derek however, had no 4 goal games and scored in 13 games this season (but had no midseason injuries), and in addition to getting the season sweep of the division winner WTP, likely gets remembered as the bigger offensive threat this year.

GANK 2 @ Pounds 4

Anklebiters – Joe P (4), Andy M (2)

Goalie Loss – Craig LaC (13-2, 5 Shutouts, 1.31 GAA)

Pounds – Karsten P (4), Davis A (3), Macayla E (3), Nick R (1)

Goalie Win – Sizzler (12-2, 1 Shutout, 1.57 GAA)

Math 2 @ Cobra Kai 6

Math – Lindsey H (1), Jon M (8)

Goalie Loss – Andrew via FA

Evil Dojo – Rachel L (3), Eff Gill Ween x2 (7), JJ Murph (2), Liam M (4), Pete FlaminGo (5)

Goalie Win – Ryan “Levine” (1-6, 2.22 GAA)

Game Notes: This was quite a late day game for a Levine goalie to play…someone really wanted that first win of the season!

Advanced Analytics: How do Cobra Kai never win any games? I dunno, because Olivier and Liam can only score 6 goals combined in a season perhaps? Guys hobbling on 1 leg have done better. Or at least, I assume Crime Stopper’s Rbrt Glnzr’s 73 goals last year were all legitimate.

Wrong Levine.

Riots 0 @ Rainbows 4

Goalie Loss – Dave GdR (3-12)

Rainbows – Dan C x2 (6), Ryan M (3), Yetter (8)

Goalie Shutout Win – Casca via Demons

Dan has been putting up goals the last stretch of the season and looks to be a difference maker for Rainbows in the Play-In round against the Butchers.

Demons 2 @ Gut Rot 1

Demons – Gino (5), Miles S (9)

Goalie Win – Zach L (7-5, 1 Shutout, 2.02 GAA)

Rut Rot – Mike F (1)

Goalie Loss – Sam S (1-8)

Game Notes: For all that this game was touted (and then deleted) to be, this was not much of a game at all. Hope Demons get some earlier games for the playoffs, not that they ever do anything remarkable in October over the years, anyways.

Mega 0 @ Sky Fighters 2

Goalie Loss – Mike T (6-6, 2 Shutouts, 2.03 GAA)

Sky – Tori x2 via FA

Goalie Shutout Win – OG James (5-4, 2 Shutouts, 1.98 GAA)

Game Notes: Was this past Sunday a live look-in at the 2020 Michaliga Katz divisional race?

Only an OG would have a sub 2.00 GAA on a team getting demoted to the Michaliga, err, Katz, (definitely Katz forever now), the Katz Division. Unfortunately his namesake (Justin) is on the only team in the league rocking Nucks vintage jersey threads these days.

Hookers 0 @ Butchers 1 F/SO

Goalie Shutout Shootout Loss – Dustin O (9-4, 3 Shutouts, 1.49 GAA)

Goalie Shutout Shootout Win – Tim Brk (4-8, 2 Shutouts, 2.28 GAA)

Shootout Winner – Matt DR

Game Notes: There were zero goals scored in both Butchers/Hookers matchups this season, played in both the opening and de facto closing weeks of the season, with two 1-0 shootout decisions, one going each team’s way. Dustin played for both games, and Tim Burke was snubbed for a star only once (as Max subbed in Week 1) this past week.

Dustin may not even wear pads this Sunday. (I mean he wears kid street hockey sized 30 inch pads now…so this old caption still applies in 2019) The Hookers may or may not also have a bye.

We finally played the Week 5 makeup games. There were a few nail biters decided late in the second half on Sunday and the final division races were won and ….given up on?

On to the box scores…

DaPucks 2 @ Gremlins 0

WTP?! – Justin M (3), McCauley (4)

Goalie Shutout Win – Goalie Ed (10-5, 2 Shutouts, 1.76 GAA)

Goalie Loss – Jamie B (7-8, 4 Shutouts, 2.03 GAA)

Game Notes: With just over 13 minutes left in the game, Justin earned himself another division to be named after him, securing the Pucks a third division title with a screened shot fivehole. In the most East court of fashion, it might have bounced twice before reaching the net before rattling the back of the twine. McCauley sealed the win moments later by going bottle down (wait, that’s a thing now?).

Advanced Analytics: Justin’s goal looked just like this one…I can’t find the clip but I can picture the iconic photo from the Ottawa Citizen’s photo capturing this game’s game winner, with the best (90’s!!) Ottawa Senators logo perfectly upright as the puck knuckled towards Brodeur’s one legged five hole (how did Brodeur win so many games in the show with that trash street hockey style?).

I couldn’t find a picture of Justin so I just put one of Corey instead.
But is Winters coming? No he is not. We don’t need you anymore, man.

Fuzz 2 @ Fresh Kills 1

Fuzz – Miles (7), Jeff (8)

Goalie Win – Tim Bwn (9-6, 3 Shutouts, 2.24 GAA)

FK – Meg F (3)

Goalie Loss – Patty B (4-5, 1 Shutout, 1.87 GAA)

Game Notes: Fuzz decides they enjoyed this season and beat Fresh Kills to ensure another season of mediocrity in the top flight of black top street hockey in 2020 when they will poach Jess, Yetter, Hogg, McCauley (Rich only likes guys in their 20’s), Hicksy (again), Annie, and Neil. And for good measure, Mat S and Wes (the one from party school Laurier) for some Sky Fighters.

Congrats on sticking in the first division this time, Fuzz!!!! Don’t poach me. Also, note that Ash is from the 90’s!!!! (Who else was upset that DJ Stoop Dogg posted no Pokeraps for the 90s theme?)

Instant Karma 2 @ Sky Fighters 1 F/OT

Karma – Florian via FA, Creed (1)

Goalie OT Win – Steve F (6-5, 1 Shutout, 2.54 GAA)

Sky Fighters – Dana L (5)

Goalie OT Loss – Casca via another goalie sub (OT) loss

When Creed-n and Steve are asked about the double digit point mark on the season. (just kidding, congrats on getting 10 wins this year, friends)

Math 2 @ Filthier 4

Math – Jack McG (10), Jon M (7)

Goalie Loss – Jamie B via Gremlins

Filthier – Thomas W (6), OP James x2 (12), Ryan McL (4)

Goalie Win – Tim K (12-3, 4 Shutouts, 1.25 GAA)

Game Notes: In the losing effort, Mr Meyer padded his stats with a nice individual effort, beating Tim K on a backhand to forehand breakaway move. He so eloquently avoided the crease and the goalie, unlike his BTSH doppleganger Paul [from WT]P(ucks).

Gut Rot 3 @ Mega Touch 2

Rut Rot – Akhil x2 (6), Heather A (2)

Goalie OT Win – Sam S (1-7)

Mega – Alex EM (1), Alok (3)

Goalie OT Loss – Mike T (6-5, 2 Shutouts, 2.04 GAA)

Game Notes: One autistic man said to another on the sideline during OT, “that unknown shortis ringer inspector jones is going to go end to end here and finish off OT.” Said unknown ringer then picked up the ball in his own corner, waltzed right in front of his own net, gave the ball away, and gave up the game winning goal. End to (own) end! Sickos rejoice.

Butchers 0 @ Campbell Kai 2

Goalie Loss – Tim Brk (3-8, 1 Shutout, 2.50 GAA)

CK – Olive (3), Luke W (2)

Goalie Shutout Win – Campbell via Black Squirrels North

Game Notes: Every time Campbell shows up, the dojo decide to be evil to him and only give up 5 shots a game, if only they had him for the games they give up more than 10! He might break a sweat for something other than sitting in traffic on the drive down from Boston.

I guess seeing this after the 5 hour drive makes it worth it…

Biters 1 @ Hookers 2

Biters – Derho (4)

Goalie Loss – Public Enemy Number 1 via DaPucks

Hookers – Phil O’d (1), Joe M (2)

Goalie Win – Dustin O

Game Notes: This win put Hookers 4 points behind Anklebiters with 1 game in hand going into the final weekend. A ‘biter loss and two Hookers wins would have meant a Hookers division 2 victory by virtue of this result (and a previous Hookers comeback win earlier this season). But Cro opted to go with the Art of the Deal and fold on the divisional race in order to rest his troops for the playoffs and try to move up to division 1 that way (by winning the PBR cup). Plus the biters are obviously going to beat pounds for the 1 seed in week 18.

Riots 1 @ Demons 5

Riots – Dana L via Sky Fighters

Goalie Loss – Dave GdR (3-11, 3.76 GAA)

Demons – Florian via the team that actually wants to roster him, Neil Zedman x4 (18)

Goalie Win – Casca (4-2, 1 Shutout, 1.45 GAA)

Game Notes: Much like Teets McGee’s scoring championship in 2017, where he sat on a small lead in the waning weeks of the season, and then popped in 5 on Popack and the Demons to seal it in the final weeks of the season, Neil breaks his 2 goal in 2 month slump with another 4 spot. Can I get a trash star, Rich? Trash HM? Also Brad gave up one of his goals from August to ensure Derek and Hogg do[es]n’t run up the score in their Week 12 makeup game and pass Neil in the final week of the season. What a team player!

Dark Rainbows 2 @ Poutine Machine 6

Rainbows – Rem (1), Christina S (1)

Goalie Loss – Max via 2020 poaching season

Poutine – Russo (2), Christian H x2 (6), Mike Marr (6), Mike Pags x2 (8)

Goalie Win – RJ F (7-5, 4 Shutouts, 1.31 GAA)

Game Notes: If Pags was still at 6 goals, that stat line would have been the most Poutine thing ever.

Rehabs 2 @ Pounds 1

Rehabs – Cherie (8), Hicks (10)

Goalie Win – Matt T via FA

Pounds – Roberts (11)

Goalie Loss – Sizzler (11-2, 1 Shutout, 1.54 GAA)

Game Notes: A sign of what’s to come? Pounds play Anklebiters next week in a battle for the first seed in the league. With the biters one point back, the winner automatically takes the top of the table by virtue of this head to head matchup, their only of the season.

How Hicks actually looks when he puts his foot down. Game winning goal derp derp.