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3 Stars Of The Week!

3rd star:  Lbs.’ dugout cheering section

Simpsons angry mob fun run

Walking up to the park on Sunday I heard some people SCREAMING at the top of their lungs, as I got closer I realized that all this shouting and carrying on was coming from the dugout in the west court. At first it seemed to be heckling, so my initial instinct was that these were likely Tompkins skaters mocking us.  I stepped into the park and began watching the Lbs./Filthy game.  These kids couldn’t have been louder or more distracting coming from the dugout, so much so that one person standing next to me who was set to play the next game said to me “I hope we arent playing on that side” (this actually happened). Heckling, shaking the dugout fence so hard that it nearly came loose, and yelling things like “Flying V formation!!” they kept at it, play after play.  It took me awhile before it even became clear that they must have been there to see Lbs. play (apparently they are friends of some dude on Lbs. named Scott who I don’t know).  As Lbs. gave up goal after goal (they lost 7-2) it didn’t matter, nothing could deter these die-hard fans. These dugout hooligans embodied the true BTSH spirit: Be Loud.  Be Obnoxious. Have Fun.  You would have made Ellery proud, random Lbs. fans. 

2nd star: Steve Yu – What The Puck

question mark face

again??

Another new guy put up a hat trick this week.  Another new guy who I don’t know. I don’t even think I’ve heard his name before. I decided to interview him this week, given this recent trend of random players notching hat tricks like it’s nothing.

JW – Hey Steve, I’m John, I don’t believe we’ve met, I play for the Gremlins and write the 3 stars for the league website. Congratulations on the hat trick, and on single-handedly putting up enough goals to beat offensive juggernaut Math. Tell me about the goals. 

Steve – The sound of wind rustling through leaves…..no response from Steve. 

JW – Umm, ok….well, how long have you been in the league?  

Steve – cricket sounds….no response. 

JW – I have to say, you’re not very talkative after such a big win and scoring a hat trick, Steve. How do you like playing in BTSH?

Steve – no response. again. 

No matter what questions I asked, I got no response from Steve. The reason for this, simply put….is that STEVE PROBABLY DOESN’T EVEN EXIST. I am not convinced that WTP didn’t pool their goals together and make up a random fake name so that one of their players could get a star this week. In fact, this sounds exactly like something Justin would do.  Nice try, but I’m onto you, WTP.  Enjoy the star this week, but I am launching a full investigation.  

1st star of the week: GUT ROT, BITCHES!!! – the whole fucking team. 

Gut Rot team photo

Gut Rut could get a star every week for being one of the coolest, most fun teams in the league. (Every team should model themselves after Gut Rot or Mega Touch. Period).  Gut Rot are one of the most tight-knit, fun, old school BTSH teams that still exists. We all love to love Gut Rot.  What Gut Rot ISN’T is a team who normally (ever) beats one of the top teams in the entire league, the Corlears Hookers, let alone SHUTS THEM OUT.  This 4th division topples 1st division upset may well be one the greatest upsets in BTSH history. I honestly don’t even know how to begin emphasizing the importance of this David over Goliath accomplishment, so I am going to let the one and only Rich Glanzer speak about it, as he was on the scene.

Rich:  I reffed the game and admittedly, thought this was going to be a 4-0 affair. But after 10 minutes I noticed something. Though Gut Rot had no shots and the Hookers had a lot, they never had second chances. Eric R. calmly made every save and swept the ball out of danger. None of the shots were point blank and I felt he should have made all those saves. The Hookers were outplaying Gut Rot but it was clearly a case of bending not breaking. Then everything changed. Gilligan started controlling the ball and Gut Rot started to get some chances. The rest of the half was fairly even. The second half was really fun to ref. The play that signified the whole game was JSB running from one half the rink with the ball to the other half parallel, and not gaining an inch on Heather who was on him tight. Finally he was able to get a step and just dumped the ball down the rink. Exhausted he said, “Next time can we just agree that you’ll let me just dump it down so we both don’t have to run?” Eventually Gut Rot put one home on a nice play and then held on for the win. It was a complete team effort. It wasn’t like Eric stole the game, or Gilligan did all the work. It was a really even game that could have went either way and while it didn’t beat Gut Rot’s awesome win against WTP in the 2010 playoffs, this was probably their best regular season win of their franchise. Well done. Though Noelle says it won’t count since she wasn’t there. 

So, there you have it folks. Gut Rot – a name synonymous with fun, hijinks, awesome people, Pinot Grigio shots, being more fun than you, and fun….now with a huge team win, and a 1st star like no other. 

Those are your 3 stars of the week, have a good night, and my apologies to Gabe Chenard-Poirer, we ran out of time. 

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