3 Lukewarm Stars
It was hot in NYC Sunday. And guess what? On August 14, it’s always going to be hot in NYC. So if you are a goalie and choose not to play, that’s your choice. But don’t try to David Koresh the rest of us so we don’t have fun. While two HOF goalies (Coach and Craig) chose not to play, heroes emerged. These are their stories.
From BTSH HOFer to BTSH Quitter
*** Greg I. (SkyFighters)
(file photo)
OK, we interrupt this goalie love-fest (that’s about to happen) to bring you someone who was an asshole to goalies yesterday, Greg I. Of all days, Greg decided Sunday would be a good time to score his first BTSH hat trick. I asked Olivier “SUA” about Greg’s performance yesterday.
“Greg was played very good. He no Mike, Mike much better. Gerg nothing compared to Mike actually. I like Mike because scores he goals. Is Jo-Ann single? I feel we’d make perfect couple.”
** Walker
Walker, I swear if you tell me you don’t deserve a star, I am going to find a Republican in my area running for assemblyman and vote for him just to spite you.
JW Walker likes his hockey. He likes it so much, he took a stand vs. Evil Craig. Not only was he going to play his full 50 minutes, he was going to make sure the league was going to play the full 50 minutes. He put it out there that games should never be shortened, and he’s 100% right. Then he put his money where his mouth is and put on the pads. Dude almost got a shutout as Cobra Kai won 10-1. Great job Walker.
- Newman
How awesome a picture is this? Look at how happy we were for Newman when he got his shutout!!!
Wrong, its actually when the Rainbows hit the crossbar and we started hitting Newman. We don’t tolerate luck Newmie.
In all seriousness, yesterday’s Goalie Strike really could have ruined the day. But Newman not only played 3 games, but also reffed one. He stood on his head for Fuzz, getting us a 3-0 shutout. And this wasn’t one of those we didn’t give up a lot of shots games, this was a spirited team with Roberts, Rachel (Serial-Nodder) K. and (Brian Sullivan Alert) Brian (Why am I on the Rainbows all off a sudden?) Sullivan for the first half. He made so many glove saves, someone from the sidelines said, “Playing catch with Newman.”
Then Newman helped the Lbs. beat the Hookers. Newman also played a 3rd game but lost so no Chadtrick for Newman. But beyond the solidness of his play, he literally saved the day for three teams. We didn’t let Newman play. Newman let us play. NEWMAN!!! (like)
Actual Honorable Mention:
Good job by the Butchers. They played with only six people and no girl subs. When Walker graciously offered them to use girl subs (I should take your star away Walker) they said no, because they only want to use free agent players. Using free agents makes the league more inclusive so even though the Butchers lost yesterday, they should feel a little less shame since they did the right thing.
Hockey Honorable Mentions:
Jamie and his intern. Jamie and his intern (I think she lives in Brooklyn???) did a fantastic job yesterday. They had buckets of ice, water and Gatorade. They even had a sign that shamed you if you weren’t a goalie or ref that said something like, “If you need it.” Then they got the people that stayed pizza. (Though the Demons were only allowed one slice and had to split it 17 ways) But in all seriousness, Jamie and Danielle did a great job yesterday. They made sure everyone was safe and well hydrated.
Scott H., Mike M. and Brian Sullivan. Sorry to ruin the surprise but Poutine is for real, kids. Mike and Brian Sullivan had two goals each and Scott had the shutout. They will win their play-in game (if they are in it) and can upset a team or two in the playoffs.
Some rando girl on Cobra Kai: I heard “some girl on Cobra Kai scored her first goal yesterday.” I’m assuming her name was Rachel since they have like 6 of them.
The BTSH Fantasy Football League!!!
Can you dig it? I can dig it.
Cro. Just like a good Republican, he worked for his money unlike you liberal ingrates (his private thoughts, not mine). Cro reffed 4 games yesterday and deserves props.