Archive for October 17th, 2019

2019 Schlitz Cup Previews

Thursday, October 17th, 2019

Let’s get Schlitzy!!!

Gut Rot vs. What The Puck

written by JW

In this corner: Gut Rot

Dominant narrative: They don’t win a lot of games. Also, they’re the fun team. 

These things are both true. However, Captain Diane DID win at trivia the other night. Someone who shall remain nameless had a lot to do with this victory because there was a classic horror films round, but I digress. Nicely put, this game is a mismatch. (It’s the top seed vs. the bottom seed matchup.) This doesn’t mean Gut Rot cannot win. I suspect they are looking ahead to Halloween festivities more so than thinking about hockey, however I do know that they love The Schlitz. So, heck, let’s all get a good seat for this one. 

Player to watch: Whoever is between the pipes. Will it be Sam, their regular goalie? He didn’t make a lot of games this year. Will it be #GoalieBecca? Will they have no goalie and pull some rando off the street who was walking by eating a slice of pizza and looking wondrously at the courts? Man I hope so. 

Bandwagonability: You know the answer to this. As I’ve always said, Gut Rot are the team that everyone loves to love.

In this corner: What The Puck

Dominant narrative: “They’re probably going to beat Gut Rot”. 

Yeah, yeah, yeah – we know that this is the top vs. bottom seed. We also know that What The Puck finished #5 overall this season, including an impressive 10 or so game win streak (probably the longest win streak in 3rd division history?). However, the Pucks have lost their last 2 games coming into this one, and a source texted me that the Gut Rot/Pucks game this season was a close game. (Can someone check the score of that one for me? Feeling pretty lazy right now.) So, will it be upset city in this one? Political pundits are stating that the potential is there, though it is still unlikely. Why are political pundits commenting on street hockey games, you ask? This is BTSH, nothing surprises me anymore. 

Player to watch: Hogg. Always Hogg. 

No, silly, not THAT What The Puck.

Bandwagonability: They’re a nice team who had a very impressive season, seemingly out of nowhere. We like them a lot, however, let’s be honest – there are probably underdogs who you’d rather see win The Schlitz. 

Prediction: No prediction from me as I’ll be reffing this game. Wait, shit, Isaac, I don’t seriously have to ref, do I? I know I agreed to help you organize The Schlitz but I have never reffed a game in my life and I was hoping to keep that streak going throughout my entire career.