From the daily archives: "Tuesday, July 9, 2019"

Truly halfway through the season after 9 games played for most, if not all, teams, Week 10 brought some competitive divisional play with only 1 game having a goal margin greater than 2 goals (and it was only by 3).

On to the box scores…

Mega Touch 3 @ Gut Rot 1

Mega – Eric D (2), Jules (2), Inspector Jones (2)

Goalie Win – Mike T (4-3, GAA 2.08)

Rut Rot – Gilligan (1)

Goalie Loss – Peter Parker via FA

Game Notes: Julie brings ringers like Matt Jones to BTSH then calls him “inspector” so that even Alexa cannot figure it out its her Shortis teammate. Brilliant.

Pounds 2 @ Rehabs 1 F/SO

Pounds – Austin via FA

Goalie Win – Sizzler (6-1, GAA 1.86)

Shootout Winner – Avery E

Habs – Mo R (4)

Goalie Shootout Loss – Eric R (2-1-1, GAA 1.71)

Game Notes: Front runner for MVP at the halfway mark, the Pounds sub list came through again for the sterlings as they down the Rehabs in a controversial shootout. Where is the video review?!

Editor’s Note: There is no MVP award, and thus all subjective halfway mark rankings of anything in nature, such as power, are pointless. Like ranking WTP players ahead of CK players in subjective weekly or annual votes! How could The Person Writing the Three Stars do such a thing? #notmyFSOTW

Sky Fighters 0 @ Instant Karma 3

Goalie Loss – Eric R via Les Habitants

IK – Brianna V (2), Derek Zed (7), Scory Cory V (3),

Goalie Shutout Win – Max Moscow via FA

Game Notes: Instant Karma take advantage of a Sky Fighters streaking in the wrong direction to create more space in their division’s relegation zone.

Advncd Anlytcs: Similar to the pattern we noted in 2018, Brianna and Scory find the scoresheet in the same game once again. If one scores, you need to cover the other!

CK 2 @ FK 0

CK – Captain LJ (1), Captain Liam (3)

Goalie Shutout Win – Peter Parker via FA

Goalie Loss – Shawn H via FA

Game Notes: Evil Dojo take advantage of no Gabe and no Ariel to get back in the win column.

Advncd Anlytcs: Is Liam quietly the Grabner of BTSH? All I see is him scoring empty netters in every CK one goal game. I also thought he was injured. Nice to see you back!

Comic Strip: Burkhardt delivers in a back to back effort. Oh wait, that’s right, he didn’t have to play against Gabe this time. Instead, here’s probably some of the game tape that’s been passed around the CK email threads as of late…

Coaching pays off. So does ignoring it.

Hookers 5 @ GANK 3

Hookers – Sarah N (2), Cro (1), Pigozzi (3), “Bill” Guerin x2 (2)

Goalie Win – Dustin O (6-0, GAA 1.13)

GANK – Derho (2), Probert (7), Chris B (3)

Goalie Loss – Max Moscow via FA

Game Notes: Down 3 to 1 halfway through the 2nd period, the Hookers mounted an impressive 3 goal outburst inside a few brief moments to steal 2 points from their bit(t)er political divisional rivals.

Mons 5 @ Bows 4

Denim D’s – Gene (3), dRo (1), Neil Zed x3 (12)

Goalie Win – Zach L (3-1-2, GAA 1.77)

Dark B’s – Bryan L x2 (5), Jess(ica) D (1), Brett H (1)

Goalie Loss – David G (2-6-1, GAA 3.70)

Game Notes: Rainbows have another strong offensive game but still come up short, and somehow find themselves 7 points back of the Michaliga division race and only 2 points clear of…oh wait, there is nothing after the fourth division, you just stay there in a perpetual annuity, or perpetuity. Perpetuity. Perpetuity. Perpetuity. (how many years have they been down there?) perpetuity. Perpetuity. Perpetuity. Perpetuity. Perpetuity. Perpetuity. Perpetuity. Perpetuity. Perpetuity. Perpetuity. Perpetuity. Perpetuity. There, probably close enough. That many years.

IR: Gene and Neil returned for the first time in a few weeks to help the Demons get back in the win column and stay ahead of Mega Touch, who, during the Demons’ shootout losing streak, were picking up some impressive wins and closing the gap in the division race, in which they only sit 1 point behind through Week 10.

Math 3 @ Butchers 1

Math – Jackpole (5), Zach N x2 (4)

Goalie Win – David L (4-4, GAA 2.59)

Butchers – Brendan C (3)

Goalie Loss – Tim B (2-2-2, GAA 2.58)

Game Notes: Norris trophy front runner Zach has been the best Norris all season long. After a Queen benefit concert, he mentioned how much he used to score when he was a rookie. His younger brother skips town and voila, he starts scoring again. Coincidence? Probably (not).

Gremlins 3 @ Riots 1

Gremlins – Ryan M (1), Erich x2 (8)

Goalie Win – Jamie B (5-2, GAA 1.53)

Riots – David L (1)

Goalie Loss – Dave GdR (2-4, GAA 3.61)

Game Notes: Gremlins cooled off from their offensive outburst only worthy of an HM in Week 9 but still cruise past the Riots in convincing fashion in Week 10. The eye test, nor the advncd anlytcs, suggested a 3-1 scoreline.

Advncd Anlytcs: The gremlins really outplayed the riots.

Filthier 4 @ Fuzz 2

Filthier – Danielle (2), OP James (6), Sunny (6), Sean the Mule (2)

Goalie Win – Tim K (6-2, GAA 1.60)

Fuzz – Miles H (2), Teets McGee (2)

Goalie Loss – Tim Bwn (3-4, GAA 2.25)

Game Notes: Fuzz throws another game and Filthier stay resilient in their chase for the 1st division crown, only sitting 4 points back with half a season to go.

Canucks 1 Blue Shirts 0 F/SO

Goalie Shutout Win: Kirk McLean aka Hoggystyle (4-3, GAA 1.11 all-time)

SO Winner: Trevor Linden aka Justin SM-Liga

Goalie Shutout Shootout Loss: Mike Richter aka RJ (2-3, GAA 1.54)

Game Notes: Sleeper pick game of the day, as after a long day at the courts from re-meshing nets to breaking pinatas, we had a classic NO goal OT/SO thriller between two star-crossed Michilga-now-Katz Division rivals that kept those who stuck around from the 4:30pm games (and earlier ending east 5:30pm game) entertained with writeups, disallowed goals, ejections, and one smooth divisional namesake criminal finn-holing a hapless Poo tender to cap off the day.

“This is MY division now” – Katz and Michaliga trade places in Week 11.

JW Rules Symposium aka Soapbox: What gets addressed first, too big of goalie gear in BTSH, or curved wands in Fake Zog? Or Box Scores posted to fb? He definitely wants the latter. He’ll get none of the above, however.

Those pants are a men’s small. I swear. I don’t wear men’s small anything…I bet the ref’s shorts behind the goalie aren’t a men’s small… #LeeToo